Don’t Turn Trans Men Posts About Trans Men Into Something Else Not About Trans Men 2025 Challenge

it's so important for y'all to remember that gender nonconformity exists rn. I cannot stress this enough.

Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

I am only going to respond to this once, because I’ve found it isn’t productive to argue with people online about what terms certain queer people are allowed to coin and use.

You clearly have some internalized transphobia you need to work out. You have an incredibly patronizing and dismissive attitude towards trans men and transmascs. You reblog from people who are actively hateful and bigoted, not just towards trans men, but nonbinary and intersex people as well. You reblog posts talking about how much you want to fuck trans men while dismissing their concerns, which comes of as fetishistic.

Being trans yourself does not give you a free pass to act this way.

It doesn’t matter if you think the term “transandrophobia” is valid or not, or if you claim it comes from problematic roots.

You are not a trans man. You are not part of their community. You do not get to say what words they get to use, and they do not need your permission to discuss their oppression. You do not get to say what they do or do not experience, because you do not KNOW their experiences, and you clearly aren’t willing to listen to the ones that disagree with you.

Look at the replies and reblogs here, how many people are saying your attitude towards trans men is insulting and demeaning. Regardless of your opinion on the word transandrophobia, you are behaving inappropriately. This much is clear.

Additionally, you are dismissing not just the struggles of trans men, but intersex and nonbinary people as well. The supreme court is actively hurting these groups, and your refusal to acknowledge this shows that either you are ignorant of the struggles of other LGBT+ identities, or you just don't care.

You are not immune to holding transphobic and bigoted ideals. Everybody in this society has them regardless of identity, and it’s your job to acknowledge your biases and unlearn them. Learn to support the rest of the LBGT+ community outside of the groups you belong to, or at least work on your own internalized transphobia before you try to join these discussions.

Fighting for your rights is not like sharing a pie. I promise you can care about transmisogyny and the issues trans women are facing without dismissing the concerns of your transgender brothers and siblings.

Trans men I love you. Trans-androphobia is not real. Putting ‘trans-‘ on a phenomenon that doesn’t exist does not describe a new thing. What you’re facing is overlapping transphobia and misogyny. I’m sorry people online got mad at you for saying it’s that, but it’s that.

. You are men, regardless of if you dress fem. Bigots and sexists don’t see you as the man you are, or even as trans. It’s not in a “transgender” way they hate you; they see us as bad men or women, to correct however violently the group finds. Which is misogyny. It’s obvious to me, a trans woman who doesn’t easily pass, that misogynists see trans people simply as bad male/females.

Cis women who don’t do femininity (at least the patriarchy’s standards) are treated the same BY THESE PEOPLE as trans men; as something to correct into an incubator. Lesbians, hairy and fat women, racialized women, strong and confident women receive these same things. Women whose muscles are visible are told that their strength makes them ugly. Which is misogyny. And the disgusting things people say about T’s effects on you is rooted in that.

Trans men I love you. I’m sorry that everyone parrots that men are also affected by patriarchy, yet you feel unease at using the word misogyny. Misandry and androphobia are words for League of Legends players though.

Trans men I love you. You do not want your issues to be a Supreme Court decision removing specifically your personhood, nor do I. What you face is misogyny. Let’s call it that, and face it together 💖

With my issues having been ignored for 21 years, I’d rather it than at very best, everyone around me debating how much I should exist in public.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

Are you actually ‘unsafe’ because of the mere existence of trans men or are you just still wrapped up in gender essentialism and don’t want to do the work of breaking down and reevaluating your bigotries and biases?

women (including trans and/or queer women) have the capacity to be misogynistic towards trans men. we are being treated as if we are little girls on this app. the word "transmisogyny" is something i see a lot more than the word "transphobia" recently. while it's okay and encouraged to talk about transmisogyny, i feel like trans men are being excluded for no reason on many posts. experiences that are actually had by all/most trans people are said to be exclusive to trans women. so then we try for transandrophobia and get shut down because trans men can't be oppressed, apparently. usually, i try to educate myself and listen as much as possible, but it's been monthssssss of this on tumblr. i feel like i'm being spoon-fed lessons on my own oppression, and i can't get down from the high chair...

*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person's pronouns. Sometimes that person's pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn't use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn't use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

Stop worrying about checking IDs at the gate and help us knock down all these fucking fences.