Latest Posts by nomaru666 - Page 4

straight people are so fascinating even when they aren't actively trying to be homophobic. I had a class a few years ago where one assignment was to summarize some eighth century arabic poetry about going out for drinks with the lads before indulging in some gay sex and like half the class came in and said "I'm sorry idk what was happening in this one, they mention having sex with a servant but they also say the servant's a man? where'd the woman come from? I'm so confused." and a few days ago in a shakespeare class I made a comment about how cleopatra and octavius caesar are kind of parallel characters in possessively bartering for mark antony's attention and one of my classmates responded as though I'd been talking about octavia and not caesar, despite the fact that I said "caesar" and "him" multiple times while describing the actions he specifically took. fully incapable of comprehending of anything that's even a little bit gay.

You are a wizard, and many an unwanted child has landed on your manor doorstep—26, in fact. You named them, fed them, and taught them magic to be masters in their own right. Today, you went on your first date in years, but you’re starting to see an odd number of familiar faces sitting close by...

What if Danny photographs weird even in human form, and it outs him to his class. Like, his ghostly traits are more prominent or something. So he just leans into it to get them to keep their mouths shut.

Danny, staring wide-eyed at the class photo being projected on the whiteboard: eh... shit..

Mr. Lancer, looking between the photo and Danny: Who are you?

Danny, glancing at his horrified classmates: Er, still Danny Fenton, unfortunately

Dash: Fenturd is possessed??

Danny: What?? No!

Kwan: Then-?

Danny: Ugh! I died a while ago! It's not my fault you didn't notice!

Mr. Lancer, paling: Great Scotts Fitzgerald! Mr. Fenton, how long?

Danny, awkwardly: So remember how I had an accident my freshman year? Cause yeah, didn't survive that.

Star, gasping: But-but-

Danny, sighing: Look, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Just pretend you don't know. My parents can't know. I'm not willing to see if their parental love will win out over their hatred for ghosts.

Dash: Fuck, I didn't think of that.

Danny, nods: I tried not to change my behavior too much so they won't catch on and ... vivisect? Dissect? Whichever applies in this situation. So they don't experiment on me.

Kwan: If you're dead... where's your body?

Danny: erm... I'm not sure it exists? I'd have to figure out how to turn off my parents' portal without it blowing up to check. I was standing inside it when it turned on. Got to say a hazmat suit does nothing to protect you from being torn apart by a portal to the Infinite Realms. It's an awful way to go.

Star, gasps: Wait! Phantom wears-!

Danny, changes to Phantom for shits and giggles: a hazmat suit? Yeah. I know.

Dash, faintly: I've been bullying my hero...

Mr. Lancer: Oh! That's why you run out of class!

Danny: mhm, I turned on the portal, the ghosts are my responsibility. I don't want anyone getting hurt, so I'll take the brunt of it until I die again.

Mr. Lancer: while that is admirable, Mr. Fenton, you are still a child. You shouldn't be dead or be carrying this burden.

Danny: Yeah, shouldn't, but am and do.

Star: We should make you a grave!

Danny: Huh??

Star: I assume you don't have one?

Danny: Well, no. Only my sister, Sam, and Tucker knew I was dead before this. We don't like to think about it more than we have to, plus there's no body to bury..

Star, turns to the rest of the class: Hear that! We're getting Phantom a gravelot and a headstone!

Paulina: It would be nice to have a spot to drop off gifts.

Kwan: And the Fenton siblings and their friends will have a spot to mourn.

Danny, touched: Thanks, guys. I...I didn't think I'd ever have a grave...

Ghost alarms start going off suddenly and the unmistakable sounds of the Fenton Parents start thundering towards them. Danny quickly turns back human and the whole class scatters as his parents burst in. No one outs Danny. They are actually nicer and body check Wes anytime he's close to outing Danny to anyone. Kwan is polite enough to explain the danger of outing Danny as a ghost when he lives with ghost hating parents after a while. Wes feels kind of dumb for not thinking about that and finally backs off.

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

He Walk through Wall, Dis-A-Pear and Fight

two pairs are sitting on a voltron lion watching the sunset. and then you wonder….which one did voltron make romantic? 🤔

Switching between these every day

A vampire, turned against their will, despises the idea of feeding on humans, and so makes a hard living out of hunting game for blood instead. After decades of this, while hunting for deer, they come across a pair of human vampire hunters who've never met one like them before.

people have got to learn the difference between I didnt like it and It was bad

You have had an absolutely terrible life and decided to go to the fae realm and start screaming your name, hoping to be forgotten or erased. But instead, the king and queen of the fae have gained an odd interest in your existence.

“why do you ship them? I thought the ship wasn’t canon?” bro we’re talking about fictional characters, who don’t actually exist in real life, from a media that focuses solely on fictional events that are not real either. so what if these two made-up characters didn’t kiss in their source material? they have lots of nasty gay sex on archive of our own and thousands of novel length slow burn enemies to lovers fics written about them. the fanon content at this point far exceeds the whole canonical franchise. the problem isn’t “it’s not canon” the problem is that you don’t allow yourself to let go of canon and enjoy the wonder of fan contents that are just as good / valid

"If I don't reply by tomorrow, then consider me dead." It's been two years since you got that message, and you haven't seen them since. Suddenly, your phone lights up: "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

"If I don't reply by tomorrow, then consider me dead." It's been two years since you got that message, and you haven't seen them since. Suddenly, your phone lights up: "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

"Hell’s Hounds"

“Hell Hounds,” Dazai said. “We’ll be the Hell Hounds."

He wrote it in bold, chalk letters across the top of the blackboard.

Hell Hounds

Then, he paused. "Well, you’re the Hell Hounds. I’m just...”

“Hell,” Ron supplied unhelpfully.

Instead of pulling a face, like Ron probably expected, Dazai beamed. “You’re right! It’s more like ‘Hell’s Hounds’ then, isn’t it? With an apostrophe.”

In the small space between the word Hell and Hounds, Dazai drew in a tiny 's. He had to write it crooked to make it fit.

Hell's Hounds, it read proudly.

“Hell’s Hounds gang...” Hermione tasted the name on her tongue. “It’s a bit dark, though?”

“It has a nice ring to it,” the twins cheered, “Hell’s Hounds!”

Hell’s Hounds... Dazai could agree it had a certain charm to it. A little threatening, a little rebellious. Just the right name for a mafioso’s gang of schoolchildren.

-- Coil, Chapter 7: Hell's Hounds by Allegory_for_Hatred

ref pic:

Magic and Mystery/Coil Dazai(ʘᴗʘ✿)

The animation is done after 3 weeks !!

I'll post it to yt and tiktok and elsewhere just post the link to the video.

I hope you like this because all my sanity went into it <3 now I post this and vanish because of ultimate life in an hour..

REBLOGS>>>>>LIKES!!

You know that "who you should fight" meme? Could you do a BSD version of it, if it's not too much to ask?

(Ngl this may be the best thing I’ve ever answered)

WHO YOU SHOULD FIGHT

ADA

Atsushi: You win(?)

Walk right up to him and beat the ever-loving shit of him. He’ll apologize to you. An easy fight, just don’t slip in any tasteless orphan jokes, it’ll have the opposite effect intended and he’ll take you the fuck out with the pure intent to prove he’s worthy. You could beat him but the psychological weight of crushing someone so innocent will ensure that you never feel right again. Fight him if you have no soul.

Dazai: You lose

He’ll turn the whole affair into a big joke. If you, by some stroke of luck, actually hit him, he’ll probably just say ‘harder daddy’. The psychological effects of brawling Dazai will be devastating either way. DO. NOT.  FIGHT.

Ranpo: You win

Honestly, it’s hardly worth your time. He hasn’t eaten anything but chocolate cake and cheap lollipops for the last six years, not to mention any form of physical exercise. He’s got pale-ass noodle arms and a muffin top (don’t believe the official art’s lies. The bitch eats solely from a candy shop and looks like he just topped off a cycling session with Jillian Micheals? Get the fuck out). Just don’t bring a Jolly Rancher shiv because he’ll eat the damn thing. Undoubtedly fight, just be prepared to book it like a fucking librarian after you knock him out because the rest of the ADA will come after you.

Kyouka: Depends 

Look, fourteen’s a shitty age even when you’re not dealing with pressing morality crises.There is nothing Kyouka wants more in this world than to dial herself, let Demon Snow rip and raise her kill count to thirty seven. But all you gotta do to keep her at bay is debate on morality like Matthew fucking Murdock in Netflix’s Daredevil. If you can successfully hold her back with discussion on ethics (and how hers will be jack-shit if she slaughters you) you have a slim chance of victory. A great fight if you need to practice for speech class.

Kunikida: You lose

You might think victory’s as simple as tossing his notebook in a nearby water fountain and watching him flip a lid, but this is an absolutely awful tactic and the inside of your head will be decorating the sidewalk in mere milliseconds. He beats Dazai’s band-aid wrapped flanks on the daily and he won’t hesitate to destroy yours. If you fight, at least your cause of death can be listed as ‘blonde beefcake’s rippling biceps’.

Kenji: You win

Just feed him a few bowls of Spaghetti-o’s before you deck him and the little blonde bitch won’t stand a chance. You can smack him back into the cultist backwater rice paddies he crawled out of easy as smacking a crippled fly. A perfect fight for abusing a fourteen year old without getting into too much trouble. 

Fukuzawa: You lose

You might think you could dress up in a kitty costume and sneak up to him. And you could. It would be easy, in fact. He’s so focused on the cuteness he won’t notice any maliscious intent. Despite this his reflexes are simply too quick and he’ll still take you the fuck out when you make your move. A bad fight from all angles. You’ll have to fend off his adopted, dysfunctional ADA children too. Just don’t.

PORT MAFIA

Akutagawa: Depends (99.5% losing chance. risky.)

Yeah, you’re fucked. Akutagawa won’t even wait until you initiate, he’ll be the one attacking you, probably over something minor and stupid like the color of your pants is personally offensive. Rashomon will be slicing and dicing you into a smoothie for cannibals before you know what hit you. The only way you make it out alive is if by some stroke of luck Dazai happens to be in a one hundred mile radius and Akutagawa’s senpai-radar starts going off. Fight only if you bring My Chemical Romance vinyls to punt at him; they’re his biggest weakness .

Chuuya: Depends (99.75% losing chance. Cross thy fingers and pray)

Facing Chuuya is a bigger risk than that board game. He’s practically impervious to all close-up melee and he’s too small of a target to be hit with anything from afar. You might think you’d have a fighting chance if you knocked his hat off; after all, that’s basically all he is. A hat rack prone to alcoholism. But that fury will only make him stronger and he’ll crush you like you’re a cum-covered Dazai body pillow. As with Akutagawa your only glimmer of hope for survival is if bandage-kun happens to be close by because Chuuya will prioritize and leave your now crippled ass in the dust that he punted you in. Only fight while intoxicated. (Both of you. Not just him. It’s more fun that way. Much like Turkish oil wrestling but with more gravity.)

Mori: You lose

If you want to fight him you’ve obviously got a death wish and I’m not going to stop you. There’s easier ways to go though, man. Easier ways. His expression won’t even change when he whips out that scalpel (I don’t believe that man’s ever been to medical school) and filets you like a fresh caught tuna, on its way to a B-rated fast food join. Your body’s gonna get left on the pavement for the stray dogs. (No, I’m not gonna finish that joke. Low hanging fruit. I have some dignity.) If you want to die that bad, just go see if Dazai will suicide with you. It’ll be significantly less painful

Elise: I fucking dare you

I mean, you probably could take her out, she’s like seven. Mori will let her play skip rope with your small intestine after she’s recovered. Rest In Peace if you even consider it.

Kouyou: You lose

I don’t know what would inspire you to be so stupid. She’ll just let out a dignified little chuckle and shove that umbrella sword so far up your ass you’ll be tasting acid rain for months, and she’ll do it all in the most ladylike way possible. Unless you’re ready for your innards to end up in a teapot, served with chocolate-coated orange wafers at tea break, just don’t fight.

Oda: ???

He’s fucking dead. What are you gonna do, kick his headstone, maybe plant some weeds over his grave? Just don’t mention the burnt orphan soup, or he’ll literally rise and put you in his coffin instead. If you’re willing to dabble into necromancy, knock yourself (or him, in this case) out.

Q: Haha

I get why you’d want to fight him, I really do. He looks like a miniature Cruella Deville on an acid trip. But you just don’t have a chance. Hit him. Go ahead. As soon as you so much as brush him he has the power to destroy your shit like it’s never been destroyed before. Will annihilate you from the inside out. The deadliest emo thirteen year old there’s ever been; avoid at all costs!!!

Higuchi: You LOSE

You might think you have a chance because she doesn’t have an ability. But you’re gravely mistaken. Higuchi is bitter. Higchi is ruthless. Higuchi does not give a fuck about anything other than getting Emotagawa-senpai to notice her. She has nothing, nothing to lose and she will not rest until she’s pulling your tonsils through your asshole in the hopes that Akutagawa will give her a thumbs-up for slaughtering you. DO NOT fight. She stands to lose nothing and gain everything.

THE GUILD

Hawthorne: You lose

You might think that you’d have a fighting chance because he’s a priest and priest’s aren’t supposed to wreck people’s shit but he will see your sins and you won’t even see him coming. Try to punch him his ability is literally activated by injuries. Knocks you out with a psalter hymnal and ships you off to Bible camp while you’re unconscious.  Only fight if you have never sinned, not once, ever.

Steinbeck: Depends

If you’re from the city he’ll destroy you. Farm boys always tear apart city people no questions asked. If that fact doesn’t dissuade you then just prepare yourself not to be freaked the fuck out when he jack-knifes his own neck and starts sprouting flora. As long as you keep your cool you’ve got a 30/70 chance. Only fight if you bring a metric fucktonne of weed killer.

Poe: You win (biggest douchecanoe award, but that’s about it)

Physically, sure, you could sneeze within fifty feet of his pasty ass and take him down. But really? Do you really want to hurt him? He’ll stare right into your soul with those sad, sad eyes and wonder just what he did to inspire such bitterness in you. If you can still fuck him up after that then you’d best kiss your spirit goodbye because it’s descending to the seventh level of fiery hell as you read this. Plus, honestly, there’s no true triumph against a man whose best bud is a raccoon. That’s just too rad. If you can deal with the pressing moral consequences and a pissed off  raccoon, go for it. (You monster). 

Mitchell: You win

All you have to do is push her hospital bed down the stairs and pretend it was an accident. Her comatose ass can’t do a thing to stop you. Fight if you’re ready to run from angry hospital staff.

Fitzgerald: You lose 

You know, this sentient sack of Benjamins deserves it, in all honesty, but don’t try. Him and his power suit will kick you into the next millennia before you can say ‘old sport’. Prepare to be crushed by capitalism.

Melville: You win

He’s like eighty and his ability’s a goddamn floating whale. As long as you don’t throw down at Sea World, you’re good. Fight as long as you’re not in front of an assisted living facility; the CNAs will think he’s a resident and defend him.

Lovecraft: Depends

Attack him while he’s trying to nap and he’ll be too lazy to get up. Otherwise… yeah, just google ‘Cthulhu’. You’ll get the idea. Don’t fight: there’s no beating weaponized tentacle porn.

Montgomery: You lose

Go right ahead and try, she’ll whisk you away to her Melanie-Martinez ass torture dimension and let Anne mop the floor with your teeth. It’s kind of like challenging God. Unless you want to spend eternity in an unsexy rip-off of the 50 shades Red Room, DO. NOT. ENGAGE.

Twain: You win

Twain’s all talk, anybody that walks around with their titties hanging out 24/7 is definitely trying to distract from something. In this case he’s trying to fool people into thinking he’s not a dictionary-definition pussy. Rip the heads off his muppet babies and he doesn’t even have an ability anymore, the schmuck. Fight when you’re looking for a quick self-esteem boost. 

Alcott: You win

This poor woman does not deserve to be tortured anymore than she already is by the weight of her own social awkwardness, but if you really insist: make a derogatory comment and she’s basically down for the count already, no physical contact necessary. If you really want to dominate, just steal her glasses and she instantly morphs into a significantly less foxy Velma Dinkley. Also significantly less prone to self defense. An A-1 fight for when you’re looking to cement residency in Hell.

OTHER

Ango: Depends

You would think his beanpole ass would be an easy target. You’d be wrong, though. So very wrong. He’s been chugging tomato juice like it’s his job for the past forever and he’s got a snazzy pair of handcuffs he’s just dying to break out. If you sabotage basic safety features on his car, though, he’s a goner. Just sneakily unbuckle his seat belt while he’s driving and you’ve basically defeated him right then and there. A good fight for practicing strategic tactics and subtle vehicle vandalism.

Fyodor: You lose

Just ask A how that one turned out. Actually, ask anyone in the manga what throwing down with Fyodor entails. (Unless you only watch the anime, then just wait for the season three that we’re probably not getting) He’ll escort you personally to the gates of hell with a flick to your forehead. Then he’ll step right over your still-warm corpse and start playing the cello with that unnecessarily wide leg-spreadage. Mess with this sentient ushanka hat and he’ll uSHANKa you.

How do some people think atsushi is just some uwu innocent soft boy when he's literally so salty

Do they not see this

As a random thought...

So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.

The Black Widow is Russian.

Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.

Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”

As a random thought...

So in the comics Hawkeye has 80% hearing loss.

The Black Widow is Russian.

Can you imagine when they’re on a mission and something goes wrong; the police are about to arrest them and they fall back on Plan H.

Black Widow, “So remember, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English”

no fucking way

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me