I’m Just Gonna Put This Idea Out There In The Wind, Because It’s Been Bothering Me...

I’m just gonna put this idea out there in the wind, because it’s been bothering me...

What if instead of Wizards becoming Aurors in the Wizarding World, there were Witchers...? Instead of Dementors guarding Azkaban, there were six foot something tall dudes with two swords on their backs and dimiritium grenades to be popped off at any given time and any prisoner wears a collar of the same metal or it’s put into their food?

Do you really think Bellatrix Le Strange would’ve gotten out of Prison? Do you think a Witcher wouldn’t have used Axii on Sirius Black to make him tell the truth about who really sold out Harry’s Parents? You think they wouldn’t have figured out Petigrew was still around maybe when one walked by Ron Weasely at Hogwarts holding a rat or even at the train station, like “Hold up. Your rat smells like a 40+ year old man, let me just check it out?”

And the prospect of having modern Witchers...??? They still have swords, of course, because of tradition and they keep their medallions and all their mutations, but they find safer ways to make Witchers, maybe even make female Witchers...? With modern anesthesia to prevent quite so many children (the 3/10 survival rate raised up to at least like 7/10???) and maybe, just maybe they’re less hated than they are on the Continent? More so respected than feared, but obviously, some dude with cat eyes, two swords on his back and a scowl walked into a bar, you’re gonna be at least a little intimidated.

There’s also the thought that Witchers might also carry modern weapons, because why have a wand and exhaust yourself when you can bring a gun to a wand fight and shoot silver bullets...??? Can you imagine how much more danger Remus Lupin would’ve been in if Witchers were guarding Hogwarts when the Murauders were running around...? If one of them might’ve even been able to help him? Find his maker and help him break the curse...?

Can you even fathom how much James Potter might’ve idolized Witchers...? Sirius Black the cad to end all other cads himself...?

And how much faster would Voldemort have been dealt with? “Oh, you have an evil Wizard trying to start a war? Yeah, pay me five hundred galens and he’ll be dead by the end of the weekend.” But when they find out about the horcruxes they’re like “Huh...okay seven hundred and the end of the week” like there’s no way the fate of the world would’ve been dumped on Harry’s shoulders because it never would’ve come to pass. Harry’s parents probably would’ve lived and a lot of evil Wizards would be dead rather than locked up.

It’s just a concept in my mind that just seems like they could mesh so well together, but the plot points of the Harry Potter books just would be so completely different, because Witchers are prepared. For example, a School of the Wolf being invited to the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Oh, my God, you think a platoon of Witchers wouldn’t be assigned by Dumbledore to protect the school? Wouldn’t investigate the ingredients missing from Snape’s stores and smell Polyjuice Potion all over “Moody”, figure out he’s a newly escaped Crouch Jr. and immediately take him out? And probably Karkaroff, too just to be safe...? You think they wouldn’t recognize the Cup as a port key and warn everyone...?

Voldemort wouldn’t be able to get literally anything done if they had Witchers watching over/wandering the Wizarding world...and maybe even being born...? What if they could find a way to make Witchers that are fertile...? A new form of “pure blood” contention? Pure Witchers always quarreling with Pure Wizards and when some of their children refuse the “Path” lifestyle they can go to Hogwarts to learn more about magic, creature care and alchemy rather than hunting and fighting monsters?

Can you imagine how many of them would probably be more often than not sorted into houses like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff over Slytherin or Griffindor? Witchers aren’t raised to have bold ambition or to seek glory through their bravery. Only to seek knowledge for the good of others and to help those in need...

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk...