Nuttyhatter - Only Nutts

How is Snape described in the books: a relatively complete compilation

Okay, so this is my attempt at gathering what we have regarding Severus Snape's appearance based on the HP books. It's long, since rowling loved obsessively writing about Snape's looks. It's likely I've missed something, but I hope not much. I didn't dive into what he's wearing or into his self-presentation, just his physical characteristics that are present in canon – people get stupid about that topic sometimes.

Disclaimer: body positivity/neutrality to everyone, I don't support JKR's lookism just as much as all of her other bigotry. Beauty is a deeply subjective concept, no features are objectively beautiful or ugly and none of them identify us as people. The way my imagination and your imagination recreate a picture from the identical textual description might be different.

Snape's nose is constantly described as "hooked":

○"Snape approached their table, stared down his hooked nose at the roots."

○"Snape stared down his hooked nose at Colin."

○"...as Snape swept by he looked down his hooked nose at it without comment" etc.

Altogether I found Snape's nose being called hooked 10 times in the series. There are places where we're shown it's rather big, but they aren't very definitive:

1) “Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.” – Marauders map, so basically bullies behaving like bullies;

2) "...hatred which had, if possible, intensified last year, when Harry had helped Sirius escape right under Snape’s overlarge nose" – Harry is very mad at Snape and the phrase is clearly used figuratively, not as a direct appearance description;

3)"In the very center of the group Harry saw the dark, greasy-haired head and prominent nose of his least favorite teacher at Hogwarts, Professor Snape" – "prominent" is a broader conception while referring to size, I'd say;

4) "[Tonks'] nose swelled to a beaklike protuberance like Snape’s" – again, the size is mentioned, but not through the words "big" or "large" or "long", and the form is given more empathis.

Undoubtedly it's supposed to be on the bigger side, but it does not, in fact, seem to be "abnormally" large. Making it straight should be a crime though – how can you make anything about that man straight?..

Snape's black eyes are often described glittering or sparkling, but also empty and cold:

○"They were cold and empty and made you think of dark tunnels"

○"Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes"

○“But why not join the feast afterward?” said Snape, his black eyes glittering in the candlelight"

○"He glanced at Snape, whose black eyes glinted, and looked quickly away."

○"He didn’t care that Snape’s face had gone rigid, the black eyes flashing dangerously."

○"Harry blinked. Snape’s eyes gleamed."

○“Don’t lie to me,” Snape hissed, his fathomless black eyes boring into Harry’s"

Snape's eyebrows aren't described in detail, we don't known if they're bushy or thin, but he does that raising one up thing:

○“Yes,” said Harry. “Who’s going to be teaching me?” Snape raised an eyebrow."

And he raises two as well:

○"Snape looked back at her, his eyebrows slightly raised"

○"Snape raised his eyebrows and his tone was sardonic as he asked, “Are you intending to let him kill you?”

Snape's skin is constantly described as sallow – about 11 times through the books. Whatever that word means. Is it like... muted and dull coloured with yellow undertones? Cool!

It's also described as pale, or white due to strong emotions:

○"An ugly flush suffused Snape’s pallid face."

○"Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs"

○"Snape’s pale face, illuminated by the flaming cabin, was suffused with hatred just as it had been before he had cursed Dumbledore."

○"As Gryffindors came spilling onto the field, he saw Snape land nearby, white-faced and tight-lipped"

○"[Snape's face] was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes."

○"Snape’s sallow skin had gone the color of sour milk." (very poetic Harry, you should try writing poetry too)

Also idk what's an ugly flush (also: Harry saw the edge of Snape’s sallow face turn a nasty brick color, the vein in his temple pulsing more rapidly; a dull flush of color mounted the sallow cheeks as he looked at Lily), have never seen one in my life, but Snape's face canonically goes full red very quickly and this is the most important part of that meta don't forget about it folks.

His skin is described as greasy twice in the saga, but both times with not much credibility:

1) "Harry could see a vein flickering horribly on Snape’s greasy temple" – temple is the area of the face in close proximity to hair and we'll get there, although aren't Snape's "hair curtains" hiding the sides of his face, including temples? Is he wearing his it freaking braided or what? Overall, I'd say this is just another jab at his hair.

2)"Iwas watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,” said Sirius viciously. “There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word" – Sirius can go fuck himself.

Harry does not comment that at any age there is acne or post-acne on Snape's face so I'd assume his skin isn't greasy. He has visible veins on his temples though (also no eyebags mentioned?? a crime).

Snape's lips are described as thin:

○“Now, now, Malfoy,” said Snape, though he couldn’t suppress a thin-lipped smile"

○"A muscle twitched unpleasantly at the corner of Snape’s thin mouth every time he looked at Harry"

○"The dungeon rang with the Slytherins’ laughter, and an unpleasant smile curled Snape’s thin mouth."

Characteristics of Snape's teeth got two mentions.

○"Snape’s uneven, yellowish teeth were bared." PoA

○“Ten o’clock,” whispered Snape, with a smile that showed his yellow teeth. “Poor Gryffindor ... fourth place this year, I fear ...” HPB

(Also I've literally always hc'ed that Snape is a stress smoker, and since Voldemort came back Snape just started to destroy his enamel with fervour so it coloured up more, everyone should share my headcanons i prove them so well!!!)

Snape bares his teeth some other times ("I wouldn’t bet on that,” Harry murmured, watching Snape baring his teeth"; "It was scary: Snape’s lips were shaking, his face was white, his teeth were bared) or smiles (not pleasantly let me assure you) and most times Harry doesn't comment on it. Actually, it's hilarious how the very first time Harry saw Karkaroff he thought "his teeth were rather yellow", man, do you wanna steal Hermione parents' job? Also yellow teeth are mentioned twice for Sirius in PoA (and no one dares to not notice Gilderoy's perfect teeth, of course, he asked me to mention it). So I'd say Snape has moderately imperfect teeth like a working class kid he is, otherwise Harry would've probably commented on that as much as on Snape's hair, hence almost every time we encounter him.

(but I'm totally headcanoning high canine teeth for him, Snape deserves the privilege of having some more vampirish vibe for free)

Severus' body type and face are described as "thin":

○"He was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose, and greasy, shoulder-length black hair"

○Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs"

○"even Harry, who hated Snape, was startled at the expression twisting his thin, sallow face"

○"He had forgotten the details of Snape’s appearance in the magnitude of his crimes, forgotten how his greasy black hair hung in curtains around his thin face, how his black eyes had a dead, cold look (I fucking love that quote, have you forgotten his lesser crimes which are not looking the way you enjoy, Harry, after he committed bigger ones like murder? good god)

He isn't probably looking very thin, since that description mostly applies to his face. Rather logical, I mean he wears all those big flowy robes that make him look bigger.

Also Snape is average height like about 177 cm/5'10, he's shorter than Yaxley and Sirius, taller than "tall and slim" Narcissa, so somewhere in this range.

The fact that Severus has hunched posture is mentioned twice for a kid/teen!Snape:

○"He was on platform nine and three-quarters, and Snape stood beside him, slightly hunched, next to a thin, sallow-faced, sour-looking woman who greatly resembled him"

○"Round-shouldered yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner that recalled a spider, his oily hair swinging about his face."

I didn't find any mentions in the books that adult!Snape had hunched posture. It is possible that, like many behaviors and habits, such as the way he speaks, moves, and perhaps writes, it had been deliberately changed by Snape himself.

His fingers are thin and long:

○Snape eyed Harry, tracing his mouth with one long, thin finger as he did so.

○Snape pointed a long yellow finger at Malfoy and said, “Explain.” – yellow can be a way to call sallow skin; a result of working with potions (Snape having potions stained fingers is not book canon, which is a shame) or smoking. Them being thin is noted once, but that goes cohesively with his thinness overall.

The star of the show – Snape's hair, ofc. It gets more attention than James Potter's charachter development. The fact that it's greasy appears in the books minimum 17 times + it's called oily 2 times and dirty once when he's a 9yo kid. People who comment on that, except Harry in his head, are Sirius, Peter through the Map, Fred and George in DH ("Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t, but the fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to"), kinda Ron with grinning on Sirius' comment. Actually it's not described as greasy in "Spinners End" and "The Dark Lord Ascending" (so it might as well be your ordinary oily hair with a tad of drama from people who dislike Snape).

It's black – obviously, shoulder-length or "long", which I assume is just a variation for shoulder-length. It's often forming "curtains":

○"Snape went quiet, though his eyes still glinted malevolently through his curtain of greasy black hair."

○"Snape looked around at him, his face framed between curtains of greasy black hair."

○"A sliver of a man could be seen looking out at them, a man with long black hair parted in curtains around a sallow face and black eyes."

At the hilltop scene they're described as straggling:

○"Snape was wringing his hands: He looked a little mad, with his straggling black hair flying around him."

as opposed to being lank before:

○"His hair was lank and greasy and was flopping onto the table".

He had it poorly cut when he was a kid:

○“Definitely,” said Snape, and even with his poorly cut hair and his odd clothes, he struck an oddly impressive figure..."

So as an adult he supposedly cared enough to regularly cut his hair up to Harry's (fashionable) standard. It also doesn't look "dirty", like Harry calls internally his hair when Severus is 9.

Well, as someone with naturally oily hair, depression and neurodivent sensory issues, I can say that if your hair loosely hangs in "curtains" covering/framing your face, you're probably not doing that bad with it! There are a lot of headcanons about why Snape has greasy hair, but honestly, I don't understand why would he need an exuse? Having oily hair doesn't make you unhygienic, that's ridiculous, and there are no signs that Snape (noticeably) neglects his hygiene. Hair types exist, and some of them just need extra-spesial care to look "socially acceptable" or whatever, but people have the right to not bother about it. Whether his occupation and/or upbringing and/or mental health problems affected it – maybe to an extent, but excluding just genetics or physical well-being from it is kinda weird. Let different hair types live and be pretty.

Snape's mom was thin, sallow faced and sour looking, and Harry thinks Severus resembles her greatly; while Severus' hooked nose was inherited from Tobias – "a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner". Harry also does think Eileen isn't pretty since she's described as a "skinny girl; ...she looked simultaneously cross and sullen, with heavy brows and a long, pallid face" (so evidently that's not Harry's type aside from his prejudice to Snape. Harry's admiration towards Krum hadn't made Harry think he's attractive either. Just to remind you: "Viktor Krum was thin, dark, and sallow-skinned, with a large curved nose and thick black eyebrows. He looked like an overgrown bird of prey". Literally Snape's lost cousin).

Honestly, after going through those descriptions specifically, if I remove the evaluative vocabulary and the labels of ugly/nasty/unpleasant/etc., I don't really understand what exactly I should've found ugly? Snape is just not Harry's type of preferred visual, and on top of that they quickly developed a mutual dislike. Nevertheless, no one is obliged to transfer subjective ideas of the (author) protagonist to their own perception. Writing "ugly" after a characteristic doesn't make it "ugly".

That had been a long conclusion.

My short conclusion is that Severus Snape is a babygirl and Harry has poor taste (sorry, no hard feelings).

Do you know what would also be interesting?

A serie of one-shots like this. A group of what-ifs. And some characters reacting to them.

So, like you said, what if Lily survived along with Harry, and not understanding his true roll in the war, sent him to Azkaban?

What if Lily helped Severus on the day of his worst memory?

What if he changed schools?

What if he left the Wizarding World?

What if he'd been sorted into Gryffindor? Or Ravenclaw? Hufflepuff?

And some others that, at the begginig, seem to focus on someone else, but they end up focusing on Snape somehow.

What if Riddle hadn't hidden his true upbringing, but still managed to form the Death Eathers?

What if James got over Lily?

What if Dumbledore found out about the horrocruxes earlier?

What if Grindelwald escaped and formed a third party on the war?

And... Well, you get it.

I just think it would be hilarious to have most people realize that, yes, Severus is important. All the while Dumbledore and Voldemort are squeezing their brains, trying to think of a way to ensure tge man's loyalty.

And Severus only thought is an absolutly miserable "Why me?"

(Fic Idea)Lily and Harry Survive But...

Lily and Harry survive, Lily throws Severus into Azkaban. She watches with gleeful pleasure as the dementors suck all the happy memories away from him. She hears him beg "Please don't take her away from me" and wonders who he could be talking about. A few days later she goes to him to gloat but he doesn't recognize her. The story could focus more on Lily finding out all the things Severus did in the first war since he switched sides. One could create a few dramatic and painful choices he would have had to make then as well.

Ending with the grim prospect of the dark lord rising soon on the horizon and no spy to keep the pace of the war in check. ----

Maybe make a few known and beloved characters attempt to spy only to fail miserably/go insane/ switch sides.

Those who fail of course get tortured and killed for information, making the war even harder.

-------

The entire focus of the fic would be to highlight how monumental Severus Snape's contribution to both wars was.

The Stone On The Wall

What if instead of giving the Arkenstone to Thranduil and Bard, Bilbo waits to give it to Thorin on the ramparts?

Chapter 1 of (?)

I will also be posting this to my AO3 once I figure out how to format over there (it has been so long)

@marvelruinedmyspirit @moralesmarkers <3

Bilbo wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but here he was. Climbing up to the ramparts to join the dwarves, Thorin cursing at Thranduil in Khuzdul. He’d have to ask Balin for some books to learn, maybe use it to surprise the others after this is all over. What was Thorin yelling about? Bilbo had been late climbing up, having difficulty maneuvering around the broken statues used as steps. The Arkenstone felt heavy in his jacket, a reminder as to what they were here for. Thorin switched to the common tongue, bellowing out for all to hear. “I will not part with a single piece of gold from this mountain, not until we find the Arkenstone! Then, I will be king under the mountain. I will have no further talk with outsiders. Leave!” This was it. This was the opportunity to show Thorin the stone, maybe then he would come to his senses and work with Bard and Thranduil. Pulling together all the courage he had, Bilbo clambered up to stand on the stone wall shielding the dwarves. “Wait! Thorin, wait. I found it. I found the Arkenstone,” Bilbo breathed out hastily, pulling the stone from the inside of his jacket to show Thorin he was telling the truth, “Don’t burn the bridges you’ve barely built, we can work together!” With that, he held the stone high for all to see. The company cheered, Thorin loudest of all.

Bilbo was grinning ear to ear, starting to pull the stone closer to him. That was when he felt it, a small stabbing pain in his back. He staggered forward, losing his footing on the barrier. He felt himself start to slip off the edge, just as he was slipping from consciousness. The last thing he heard were the dwarves and Gandalf yelling before he succumbed to the darkness.

Nori was the closest to Bilbo when he started to slip, and he lunged forward to grab the hobbit by his ankle. The others were cursing, and he could see Kili stringing his bow, trying to see what had caused the hobbit to collapse. Bofur rushed to Nori’s side, grabbing Bilbo to help pull him up. Down below he could see chaos unfolding. Thranduil and Bard were trying to figure out if one of their men had attacked while Gandalf charged towards the wall. Once Nori and Bofur had pulled Bilbo up and over the wall, they placed him down on his side while Oin rushed over to check for wounds. As Oin got down to look properly, he noticed something sticking out of Bilbo’s back. He pulled it out and saw it was a dart with a barbed tip, possibly coated in a paralyzing agent. It was crudely made, so it could not have been from an elf. He looked up as he heard Fili shouting at Kili, “Over there! On the side of the mountain!” Kili released his arrow, hitting the orc trying to escape square in the back of his head. Looking back down, Oin rolled Bilbo onto his back to check for any severe side effects of the dart. There were no obvious side effects, so Oin relaxed a little at that. He looked up to see what was happening, only to notice Dwalin and Dori holding Thorin back from throwing himself over the side of the rampart.

“Get ahold of yourself Thorin! We have bigger problems to worry about than the Arkenstone right now!” Dwalin was trying his best to control his best friend’s temper while also holding him back. The Arkenstone had fallen over the wall with Bilbo, but it had been forgotten about while Nori and Bofur scrambled to save Bilbo. Thorin roared in anger, still fighting against the two dwarves. He needed to see what had become of the stone! It was his birthright, the one thing proving he was worthy to be king. He stopped resisting once he heard Gandalf. “I have the Arkenstone, Thorin Oakenshield. Check on my hobbit, or there will be dire consequences!” Who did Gandalf think he was? Threatening a king, worrying over a mere burglar. Still, if this is what it took to get the stone back, he would do it. He shook Dwalin and Dori off of him before turning towards where Bilbo had been laid down. The rest of the company had gathered around, making sure their burglar was still alive and seeing if Oin needed anything to help him. They backed away when they saw Thorin making his way over, giving him room to drop to his knees to look at Bilbo. 

“What happened?” He barked at Oin, before noticing the dart lying beside Bilbo. Anger surged through him again, realizing his burglar had become a target once he revealed the Arkenstone. ‘His burglar’, Thorin thought to himself. He hadn’t noticed when he started referring to Bilbo as this, instead of just the burglar, but he knew it was not a new development. His head began to swim, anger and concern filling his body. He shot his head up, barking orders. “Fili! Kili! See if any more orcs are waiting to attack, and take Dwalin with you.” They nodded before taking off down the rampart. “Oin, take Nori and see if there are any supplies that can be used to help Bilbo. Do you think he can be moved safely?” Oin furrowed his brow before responding, “I’m not sure what was used on the dart, but he should be brought down so I can examine him better.” Thorin nodded, before slipping his arms under the burglar, standing up while lifting Bilbo with him. He made sure to not jostle him too much, unsure of what the dart had caused. Oin and Nori rushed down the steps, Bofur and Ori following, turning around now and then to make sure Thorin didn’t slip while carrying Bilbo. Dori and Balin followed close behind, leaving Gloin, Bifur, and Bombur on the rampart to stay on the lookout. 

Upon reaching the bottom of the steps, Thorin noticed that Bofur and Ori had moved some of the debris to the side to create a spot for him to place Bilbo. Kneeling down, he gently placed Bilbo onto the hard stone. He thought about taking off his coat to place underneath the hobbit but thought against it as he did not want to draw too much attention to the care he was giving. He stood back up, just as Oin and Nori came back with bottles of various medicinal herbs and liquids. He stepped to the side to give them room to lay out the bottles and work, but hovered nearby to make sure nothing went awry.

Oin busied himself with the herbs he and Nori gathered, throwing some into a bowl before grinding them into a paste. He wasn’t exactly sure what was on the dart, but he could narrow it down since he knew it came from an orc. If it had been elvish, then Bilbo was in deep trouble. Oin set the paste aside before motioning to Nori to help him roll Bilbo onto his side again. He lifted the coat Bilbo was wearing, along with the mithril shirt Thorin had given him. The dart had somehow hit him in just the right spot to get through some of the chains in the mithril. It didn’t penetrate deep into his skin, but it was enough to get whatever was on the dart into his system. He could feel Thorin glowering above him, and had a feeling that if Bilbo were conscious, he would feel Thorin’s eyes boring into him. He made quick work of applying the paste, making sure to fully massage it into the wound. Once he was satisfied with his work, he applied a bandage to cover the paste, allowing it to absorb into the hobbit’s skin without risk of it being rubbed off. He pulled the mithril and his coat back down, before rolling him back onto his back. It would take awhile for the medicine to work, if it did, but in the meantime he would try to come up with something for the hobbit to drink once he came to, to help with any pain or drowsiness. Looking closely at the bottles, he picked out one containing a blue liquid, and mixed it with one containing an orange liquid. Swirling this around, it became an earthy brown mixture that smelled sweet. He set down the bottle and sighed, rubbing his face before smoothing his hair back. All they could do now was wait, and pray to Durin that this worked.

Thorin was pacing now, fidgeting with his hands. He was unable to stay still, trying to think of what could have spurred this attack from the orcs. They knew they were coming to Erebor, but how did they know Bilbo would be the one with the Arkenstone? His head shot up at the sound of pounding footsteps, pulling him from his spiral. Dwalin, Fili, and Kili had returned, out of breath. “Well?” He didn’t even give them time to say anything before continuing, “Are there more? Should we prepare to attack?” Kili spoke up, “We couldn’t find any more scouts nearby, but the elves are growing restless outside. What do you want to do uncle?” Thorin threw his hands up in the air in disgust, “Those filthy tree huggers! They will wait until Bilbo wakes before I even think of going to talk to them. And what of Gandalf? Did you see him with the Arkenstone?” The dwarves looked between each other, worry etched onto their faces before Dwalin stepped forward, “We did not see the wizard, or any sign of the stone.” Before Thorin could spit out more Khuzdul to curse Gandalf, Balin interjected, “Maybe it is best that the Arkenstone is with Gandalf for now, he knows of its value to us and will protect it until he deems it safe enough in our hands. For now, we should focus on the elves and Bilbo.” With that, everyone turned to said hobbit, Oin still sitting beside him watching for any signs of movement.

‘Ghivashel, please awake’ Thorin thought to himself, praying to Durin that his hobbit was alright. He shook his head when he realized what was going through his mind, trying not to dwell on the matter. The burglar had done his job. Thorin was just making sure he kept to his end of the contract, give him his share of the gold and send him home. That was all, nothing more. Before he could turn away to continue pacing, he noticed a twitch in Bilbo’s face. Looking closer, he could see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, as if trying to wake from a deep slumber. He held his breath without realizing it, hoping for another sign that Bilbo was alright. His face broke into a wide grin when the hobbit began to groan and his eyes fluttered open, “Good morning, master burglar.” Bilbo looked around, eyes squinted, before landing on Thorin. “What happened? Where’s the Arkenstone? Were we ambushed?” Thorin’s heart swelled, after everything Bilbo was still most concerned about the company and the Arkenstone.

“Calm down lad, we’re still figuring everything out along with you. You just stay there for a moment while Oin looks you over before we talk a plan.” Balin made quick work to soothe the hobbit, as being the oldest he always knew what to say to calm the others. Oin began to fuss over Bilbo, coaxing him into sitting up so he could drink the medicine without choking. Bilbo coughed a bit at the taste, but managed to get it all down without complaint. “That should help with any pain ya got, especially from hittin’ the wall on yer way down.” Oin collected his bottles and stood up, giving the hobbit room to collect his bearings and breathe.

Bilbo’s head was throbbing, and knew he would have a lump wherever he smacked it. He had faith that the concoction that Oin mixed up would kick in, he just couldn’t think straight at the moment. He looked up at the company, “What exactly happened? I remember being on the wall and then it was like a light went out.” The dwarves exchanged glances, before Thorin cleared his throat. “You were targeted by an orc scout. We believe the moment you held out the Arkenstone, they blew a dart at you, we don’t know why yet.” He held Bilbo’s gaze before continuing, “Fili, Kili, and Dwalin went out to make sure it wasn’t an ambush, and came back with nothing. The Arkenstone fell, but Gandalf claims to have it secured now.” Bilbo felt ashamed at this, he had one job and he had messed it up. Bofur seemed to notice the hobbit’s mood sour at this, so he chimed in, “We were more worried about losin’ you with it, so Nori and I grabbed ya before you were a goner.” He smiled at Bilbo, hoping to cheer him up even if just a little bit. 

Gloin came running down the steps, drawing everyone’s attention. “Thorin! Thranduil and Bard are demanding to see you, and Gandalf is back.” Thorin turned back to face Bilbo once more, “The wizard wishes to make sure you are well. Will you accompany me to show him you are still breathing?” He held his hand out to help the hobbit up, and was glad when it was accepted. After making sure he was steady on his feet, Thorin led the way to the passage out the side of the mountain. Behind him followed Bilbo, Balin, Dwalin, Fili, and Kili. He assumed Balin was coming to make sure things stayed civil, and the others were coming in case it didn’t. He had no idea what was going to happen when they got out there, he just needed to make sure it ended with him getting the Arkenstone back.

Headcanon Time

Pitch is a dramatic bastard who knows how to bluff his way out of a bad situation. His 'defeat' in the end was totally faked

Hear me out

Onyx, earlier during the tooth palace scene, must've sensed the fear Pitch felt when the boomerang was thrown at him. What was he reaction? Turning on him? No. Getting him out of there. The nightmares also came to check on him after Jack blasted him out of the sky. They show no signs of being fickle enough to turn against him.

Also, the nightmares are not really threats (whole diff headcanon), and they dragged him to his,,,,, home. Like telling a teenager to go to their room. 'oh no, not the place I prefer to be anyway.' So man got dragged into his lair, by his own almost harmless minions who do care about him, conveniently right when the guardians have him truely defeated.

Here's what really happened.

Pitch, apon Jack saying "Looks like it's your fear they smell." Has a realization that he has no more cards up his sleeve. He's lost. He gets a strike of panic because oh shit he's lost. Considering Sandy's treatment of him earlier and Tooth punching him, the guardians would not treat his defeat kindly.

So he runs, his nightmares, as they do, pick up that he's genuinely afraid and are like "oh shit, daddy's in actual trouble, we gotta get him home." So that's what they do.

Pitch, being his clever self, feigns struggling and fear of his nightmares to convince the guardians that there's no need to continue to go after him or worry about him, because he's getting his due punishment. He closes the lair behind him, both as a way of reaffirming that assumption, and to obviously keep the guardians from coming after him.

I mean come on, he obviously controls the entrances to his lair, there's no way Jack wouldn't have found that entrance before in his 300 yesrs, so Pitch made it specifically to lure Jack in.

Obviously, the guardians are shoot first, ask questions later kind of people. They function based on first assumptions and haven't been known to think particularly critically. Pitch bets on this and makes a plan around it multiple times. He knows how to take advantage of it.

He's a dramatic little shit, and a kid who's very good at worming their way out of trouble.

So this is my first attempt at a Rec list! It is WinterIron and I think I’ve got a decent mix of short and long fics, fluff and angst, sad and happy. Please bear (Bare?) with me if the formatting on this list is weird, this is my first time posting anything like this. A lot is under the cut so I don't clog peoples feeds.

Truth Serum Doesn't Discriminate

 By: SummerRoses0612

Word Count:   8,809

Great if you like emotionally dense and harder topic fics. MIND THE TAGS!!!!!

The Avengers have never been a family, no matter what they advertise to the world. What happens when the truth isn't anything like it seems? Or The one where Tony Stark gets drugged with truth serum and the Avengers realize they never even cared to look behind the masks the engineer wore.

Talk Dirty To Me

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Word Count:  2,255

Such a fun fic! its lighthearted but not so far into crack that you can’t take it seriously 

Imagine Bucky is smitten with Tony at first sight but Tony's not single. Bucky copes by telling Natasha about all the dirty things he wants to do to Tony in Russian. After Tony's dumped, Bucky still talks about him in Russian only now it's half dirty and half romantic. Natasha finally gets fed up with the morons and says something to Tony in Russian, who replies back (in front of Bucky), because oops, he's fluent and understood all the conversations before. AND Bucky and Natasha talking in Russian about how much Bucky loooves Tony without realizing that Tony speaks Russian as well. Being the kind of person he was now, Bucky had crossed happy endings, fairness, and a whole mess of other things off of his list of beliefs since HYDRA got their hooks in him. Shoving the disappointment down wasn’t even that hard. He’d had plenty of practice. It was just… “What a shame,” he sighed in Russian as Tony walked past, giving them a wave over his shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. “The things I would do to that ass.”

speak my language

imposterhuman

Word Count:  2,181

I’ve got a thing for polygot Tony fics and you can strip that out of my cold dead hands lol. Also oblivious Buck is always a plus

5 times tony pretended not to understand bucky + 1 time bucky realized it ft. pining in foreign languages

Cuddle Duty

Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

Word Count:  3,126

This is so fluffy and full of pining but not angsty enough to be a hard read! Such a good quick feel good fic to read!

Sleep-deprived Tony is a cuddle monster that glomps onto the first person he finds. Bucky has a crush on Tony and tries to always make sure he is the first person sleep-deprived Tony finds, thinking a cuddle session is the only time he'll get to have the genius in his arms. The one thing no one had felt the need to warn him about was also the only thing for which he’d have actually appreciated a heads up. Tony liked to cuddle. Looking at him, you wouldn’t have pegged him as the cuddly type. Nothing about him looked cuddly. He wouldn’t let people hand him stuff, even with his improved mood he hung back half the time, as if he wasn’t part of the team. The other half he got so in your face some of them might have missed the hanging back. Nothing prepared him for the sight of a zombie-like Tony staggering into the common area and latching onto Clint (of all people!) like a limpet.

Bad Days

NotEvenCloseToStraight

Word Count:  1,975

This is so cute and I love fics that personify the Winter Soldier as dfferent fRom Bucky.

Prompt: Bucky likes Tony, but is too scared to tell him. What he doesn't know is that every time he has a "winter soldier" moment, he is constantly protecting tony and not letting anyone near him, so tony already knows that Bucky likes him ("genius, remember?"). Bucky finally gets up the courage to talk to Tony, only for Tony to tell him what's been going on and he's been waiting for Bucky to be comfortable enough to actually tell him. Happy ending! I've been on a winter soldier binge (thanks to the alpha WS you did!!) and I just love the thought of Ws being triggered in the tower and while everyone is creating a perimeter etc Tony walks in sleep deprived and due to how adorable he looks Ws aggressively cuddles and protects this sleepy cuteness! ******** A quick fic of Tony enjoying how beefy Bucky is ********* Bucky panicking bc he can feel the WS creeping in & the team being shocked at how the WS in basically in love with Tony & how he is protective of him

Four Strings and Second Chances

Vashoth

Word Count:  35,439

This is legitimately one of the best WinterIron fics I’ve ever read and I want the entirety of it engraved on my gravestone lol

It was reluctance to let one of his finest inventions ever out of his grasp that made him take a couple days over a week to send the arm to Pepper’s office. But all things considered, Tony figured that sending finest prosthetic that had ever come into existence--literally grasping an olive branch--was one of the classiest gifts he’d ever given. He’d included a note and everything. ‘Barnes, Can help with installation. Or not. Up to you. --Stark'

Such Sweet Revenge

ali_aliska

Word Count:  167,714

I think this might be the best fic I’ve read to date to be honest with you. Its so so good!

When the Rogues are back in the States after being pardoned, the New Avengers want nothing to do with them and as far as Tony is concerned, if he never speaks to them again, it'll be too soon. After all, he didn't spend the last year putting himself (and his family) back together only for his former co-workers to ruin all of his hard work. But then he gets a hand-written letter from the Winter Soldier himself, apologizing for the events that transpired and an off-handed comment from Rhodey about Rogers failing to take care of an obviously miserable Bucky Barnes sets in motion Tony's new, oh-so-evil plan to get some payback. After all, what better revenge than to steal the Winter Soldier away from his best friend? The only problem: Tony sucks at being vengeful, but apparently he's an expert at inadvertently falling in love.

So that’s It for now. Make sure to leave your authors Kudos and comments! If anyone has any pairings they want to see, suggestions on improving formatting, or anything else let me know. :) Until Next Time, Fynn.

A concept I really like (aside from this ship) is the idea that purebloods are so used to magic that they have no imagination whatsoever. That is the other reason they seem stuck in time. It's not just that magic and technology don't mix well, but they have so little imagination, such a narrow-minded mentality, that they are shit at coming up with new inventions. They don't change. No new moda, no new music or aesthetic. No new spells. They can't picture themselves flying unaided or locking someone else's tongue or muffling themselves for a private conversation. Magic is so common to them that they are blind to the possibilities. But Severus isn't and neither is Tom. And I also like to imagine that Secerus was the one to invent the spell...

The flying boys

That reminds me: what if Severus taught Tom to fly, not vice versa? It is Severus who obsessively comes up with new spells, it is Severus who sees small Lily literally flying "like a trapeze artist through the air", and it is Severus who discovers the Levicorpus spell.

In the UK they are the only ones canonically doing it. Why would Tom otherwise not teach this useful spell to other Death Eaters? That is their date spell, that is why! Miggle-raised kids have a higher chance of coveting it instead of saying "Well, we have brooms and Apparition, what do we need flying for" like wizard-raised kids would.

Due to my ignorance regarding canon, I shouldn't be allowed to write this, but there's noone there to stop me.

So, I have this concept or idea that being an archivist in Cybertron meant that the people in charge extracted most of the information straight from the archivists' heads. Sure, there were pads, but what if simply writing was considered too unproductive and slow? And what about editing and crossreferencing? It was obviously better to leave all that to the mechs more experienced, and for that they needed direct access to the information recopilated. Naturally, the cleverest way to achive that was extracting the data right from the archivists' heads.

So they simply went and connected with the processors of their archivists. It wasn't bad, at first. But the poor archivists, those little bots didn't know anything about writing or editing, they didn't know what was important and what was supposed to be left out, so the mechs in charge decided that whatever was in their minds needed to be reviewed and then it would be up to them to decide what was relevant enough to be recorded.

With time, the archivists became little more than glorified cameras. It was their duty to record and give the information away, they had to give absolute access to their processors, they couldn't complain, least of all refuse.

One fine day in Cybertron, Orion Pax was sparked.

This system was already fully developed, Orion was born into it, it's how it had always been so it had to be good, right? It had worked so far and he'd never heard anyone complaining, he'd never had to complain.

But as he began to grow, as he learnt more, explored more of the world and himself, he realised that there were things he didn't want to share.

Things that were embarrassing or too personal. Things that were private, things that were inappropriate to share with people he didn't trust.

He tried to refuse one time. He was restrained and his superiors entered his mind against his will. He tried to keep them out, he tried, but he couldn't and it hurt.

He tried again, and again, and again. He no longer bothered with voicing his disagreement, his refusal, but he tried to stop them, to keep them away from the bits that were supposed to be his. It was painful, it was dangerous, this push and pull inside his own processor hurt him every time. Until it got nearly fried.

From then on, every time his superiors needed to extract information from him, they simply disconnected Orion temporarily.

The funny thing Orion realised afterwards was that his superiors could have done that since the beginning. Why hadn't they?

The answer was all over the Archives, in the side eyes of the other mechs, in the whispers, the looks thrown to the archivists whose secrets were all over the place, maybe all over Cybertron.

Not "important enough" to be recorded, never respected enough to be kept quite. But apparently, highly entertaining.

So Orion became careful. He became measured in his actions, feelings and speech. Hyperaware of his movements and thoughts.

The Academy was his chance. He did his best and failed, but he never had to go back to the Archives.

Now he was far away, another planet, another galaxy. Constant danger, constant fighting. But his thoughts, his feelings... Optimus Prime was the sole owner.

What's the point of this little idea aside from the additional angst?

Simply consider Megatronus, the gladiator who was made to fight in the arena in a kill or be killed spectacle for the masses.

Megatronus wasn't the owner of his own body.

Orion had no say over his own mind.

What a fun thing to bond over! 😊

Hi. Does anyone know of a fic where Snape for x-reason uses the sword of Godric Gryffindor or is said to have Gryffindor traits in front of a good amount of people?

I just want chaos.

The idea of the hat considering your traits, but also the ones you most value is something I like. There are lots of opinions about Snape and the marauders and I think they are all right and wrong at the same time. All of them did a lot of shity things and some had more chances in life than others. Snape, in my opinion, had it hard but also burned many bridges with his own hands.

Ultimately I find his character more interesting, so is there any fic like this? I like Bamf!Snape. I don't mind pairings all that much but I'd rather for it not to be with Lily. It's nothing against her, simply don't really like the pairing.

Just, some people realising their own bias and misconceptions and freaking out. I can also picture Snape internaly freaking out and watching the sword/sorting hat as if it had personally insulted him (the hat probably did).

I had a thought: What if Eileen had been just as bad as Tobias?

Snape hated muggles mainly because of his father, and I'm gessing that his love for his mother aided his idealisation of the wizarding world. Maybe she was good, or perhaps neglectful, point is, she wasn't as bad in comparison to her husband, which probably made her good in Severus' eyes.

But what if she was just as bad?

Would Severus hate pure wizards too, then?

Main reason he chose Slytherin was his mother too, so he probably wouldn't have cared in which house he ended, or perhaps he, like Sirius, would have hated that house.

I think he still would have been interested in dark magic, but I don't think the others in Slytherin would been able to get to him so easily, even if he ended in that house again.

I can actually imagine him remainig neutral to spite everyone or helping the Order because Lily was a part of it.

Also, I belive the marauders would have ignored him in favor of some other Slytherin.

I can picture the scene in the train, with James asking him which house he wanted to go to, and Severus merely shrugging in response, maybe suggesting Ravenclaw as a probable ending.

From there, James and Sirius probably wouldn't care about him, and when Lily ended in Gryffindor, well, the lions and the eagles tend to get along alright.

And this Severus doesn't like girls, simply because I say so. But even if he did, I don't find much logic in him falling for Lily. There is a moment in friendship when you simply know the other person a little too well to fall for them. And that is something that would have to be practically beaten into James skull, but they would get there... eventually.

And maybe Voldemort would actually try to recruit Severus, but I don't see that succeeding.

The lake prank and the werewolf incident wouldn't happen either.

So... I'm probably looking to closely into this and twisting it a little too much, but think about it for a second: If he can't see how both worlds have good, then maybe he can see how there is just as much bad in one as there is in the other.

Psycho Delic: Oh please, you wouldn't hurt a fly

Megamind: You're right

Megamind: Because a fly is an innocent, unsuspecting creature that never knowingly did anything to anyone

Psycho Delic:

Megamind: You, however, I would maim