if you showed this video to a 2020 clingyduo fan theyd explode into a cloud of dust i think
Inspired by this post - Jason and Duke having glowy eyes and freaking Bruce out
Bruce: Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. I thought I was gonna shit my pants.
Dick: But they’re so adorable, aren’t they?
Bruce: Unfortunately yes.
im going to be eating my wendys frosty with my hands like the old ones intended
[Damian, Tim and Jason on Patrol]
Damian: Tt, the flashlight won't work.
Tim: [smacks Jason's head]
Tim: Take off your helmet and open your glow in the dark eyes freak
Jason: ????????
b word
Trans Tim off handedly mentioning random things that just confuse people more and more because he never told them he was trans (only Bruce and Alfred know)
Tim: "For the mission I'm thinking I'll go undercover, but it'll take some work to hide the bruises I got earlier. They're everywhere"
Dick: "Oh I think Steph is free right now!"
Tim: "...Ok?"
Dick: "Don't worry I'm sure she'll help you out with this! "
Tim: "That's awesome but I don't think I'll need help. I know how to use makeup."
Dick: "Really-? Ohhh, yeah your public image is like, way more public than ours. That must be tiring, having to hide the bruises all the time."
Tim: "Well yeah but I knew how to use makeup before that. For like, galas as a kid and stuff"
Dick: "...yeah..."
-----
Steph: -Complaining about a man- "And then he said "Oh you should smile more" like "you look like you don't want to be here" like what- what the fuck-??? Maybe I fucking don't dude."
Tim: "Oh yeah I hate when they do that. Like you've spent the entire time bitching about the consistency of snails, I can close my mouth for a few seconds."
Steph: "..."
Tim: "...What-?"
Steph: "Well- I mean yeah but- you know I have to deal with it like...way more, and it's just a bit weird that like, you as a guy are, I dunno, trying to relate? I mean you don't have to deal with it litreally everyday"
Tim: "Well yeah not anymore, but, you know...I still did."
Steph: :...What-"
-----
Tim: -Resting against one of the rooftop ledges-
Jason: "Woah, I can't believe it, Red Robin, slacking. What would Bruce do if he saw this!"
Tim: "Fuck off, it's just period cramps." -Jumps off the edge of the building-
Jason: "Yeah whatever Timblina...
Your fucking what-"
-----
Bruce: "And for this mission, we'll be needing someone for the Caroline disguise, but we already know who that is so-"
Dick: "Wait does Steph actually know how to fight in heels-??"
Bruce: "...N-"
Steph: "Yeah Bruce, I mean, you could at least actually ask me before volunteering me to go fight crime in that dress."
Bruce: "You-"
Jason: "I mean no offense, but literally who else would do it? Cass isn't here right now and I don't think any of us are willing to get a boob job for the mission"
Bruce: "No one's getting a boob job-"
Steph: "Yeah! This is bat tech, Bruce probably has ultra realistic titties in everyone's color and size! Jason you wouldn't even need an attachment."
Jason: "I don't think Caroline Hills has fifty gun shot wounds and muscles the size of most those guys heads."
Steph: "Yeah bu-"
Bruce: "None of that will be necessary because none of you" -Pointing at the right side of the table- "Will be going. No one at this table will be needing any prosthetics...Or boob jobs."
Steph: "...Ok but who the fuck is going then-"
Bruce: "Tim."
The entire table: "..."
Steph: "Tim are you really willing to put on boobs for this-"
Dick: "I don't think that's the best idea-"
Jason: "You just said no prosthetics- Oh this'll be fucking rich"
Tim: "...
I...wouldn't need a boob job?? Or prosthetics?"
Jason: "Timbo, that dress is a pretty low cut, and, no offense, your training hasn't given you that many enhancements."
Tim: "...Thank you for the binding compliment?"
Dick: "The what-"
Tim: "Guys I- I already have boobs-"
The Table: "..."
Steph: "WHAT-"
Dick: "You do-?!"
Jason: "Bruce if you made Tim get boobs for some weird mission-"
Tim: "What- No! No one made me get boobs??? Besides, I don't know, biology I guess??? Genetics maybe???"
Dick: "...I'm extremely confused"
Steph: "WHO GAVE YOU BOOBS-???"
Tim: "I'm not really sure seeing as I was born with them"
Dick: "...
OHHHHHH-"
Steph: "What- is this like a birth defect or something???"
Dick: "Tim- Tim I think you're just gonna have to-"
Tim: "I'm trans."
Jason: "...That's-
Yeah
Ok yeah no that- that explains...a lot."
Steph: "..." -Head in hands- "I am such a fucking idiot"
me doing japanese homework:
wait a minute….
Ok who wants my low effort shit posts!
The fact there's NO content of cSam and cGeorge being father and son is so evil. Like plssss guys cGeorge is the only person cSam directly refers to as his child. cSam literally says that he "raised him as his own" on George's house building stream like thats his daddyyy. Do you know how much angst potential there is in cGeorge finding out his FATHER allowed the torture of his best friend??? Someone write the fic NOW.
Also if you're a cQuackity is cSams son truther like me, just imagine the betrayal cGeorge would feel finding out his brother was the one who actually did the torturing. Like???
Jason: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Roy a little bit. Damian, holding Jay's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Jason: No, that's our joint tombstone. Damian: My mistake.
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Damian: We vegetarians love the environment. Carnivores are sick freaks. Jason: How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants.
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Bernard: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Tim: *sighs* Tim: I killed a man. Kon: wait, whAT-
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Jason: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.
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Tim: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Bernard: I’m “a couple of things” Kon: I’m “got distracted”
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Dick: Life is like Tim. It's short.
pov you're jimmy and you're about to get fucking killed