Journal 3, Codes And Ciphers

dick: you need your license revoked, your driving is absolutely heinous, jay

jason: that’s fair, i’m pretty sure my permit is expired

dick: i’m almost scared to ask… permit?

jason: not much time to learn how to drive in between dying and being resurrected

dick: oh my god

jason, literally seconds away from hitting bruce with his car: you’re looking at a man with exactly one shitty walmart parking lot driving lesson under his belt

Dick: You have a brother?? Is he Talia and Bruce’s too?

Damian: Of course, we share the same parentage after all.

Tim: How old is he?

Damian: He says it reset after he went into the Lazarus pit. So he’s 3.

(Bruce is in the background blue screening that he has another child with Talia that he didn’t know about.)

——-

3 years ago

——

Damian: How old are you?

Jason, unsure if he can count those 6 months in the ground: I’m a few days, cause I went into the Lazarus pit and it went back to 0.

Next fic: bodyswap

Jason: *in Dick‘s body*

Jason: I feel awful. What is wrong with your body???

Tim: *absolutely obliterating a punching bag in Jason‘s body*

Dick: *looks affronted at Jason in his body*

Dick: My body is fine! What do you mean??? You aren‘t the one who needs to consume an unholy amount of caffeine to function!

Jason: I feel like someone is about to push me off a fucking cliff, Dickhead.

Dick: *grins suddenly*

Dick: Ohhhh. Lemme fix that for you, Little Wing.

Dick: *walks up to Jason and hugs him tightly*

Jason: *relaxes before tensing up*

Jason: WAIT. YOU NEED HUGS TO FUNCTION?!?!

(Next fic is in the works! o7 It isn’t the one I had originally planned cuz my brain went brrr. Have a good one, my lovely birdwatchers! <3)

((Edit: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59545189/chapters/151862587 ))

my life sounds like a lana del rey song

#not summertime sadness #prolly like blue jeans

polites: look! a half-full glass!

eurylochus: its not a half-full glass. its just a glass with water inside.

odysseus: penelope used to drink water...

kinda fucked up that tommy dropped this line randomly in Minecraft roleplay. I'm a fake ctommy fan I'd never heard the actual audio before today snd why is it the worst thing that's ever happened to me

audio for other fake fans who've never heard it:

Dick: I don’t think Jason is happy with you

Tim: Why do you say that?

Dick, reading a letter aloud: 'Dear Replacement, I hope this letter finds you before I do’

Damian, a little eleven year old child, ten apples tall: This is my baby brother

Jason, a man the size and weight of a fucking fridge, whose age “reset” after the Lazarus dip: Hi.

i need timbernkon with timkon OBSESSED with their very pretty, very deranged boyfriend.

i need them to keep track on him, literally clinging to him like their lives depend on it.

and I need bernard to shower them in affection and touch because they're crazily touch starved.