Um

ohhh i know maybe i can bite all your fingers off

a gas leak wouldn't even affect me

grocery stores don't love you they want to see harm come to you and if you spend too long in one you will not return the same

You should be able to rot in bed for 2, maybe 3 hours after waking up before it starts affecting what time it is. If I wake up at 8:30 and lie in bed for 2hr it should still be 8:30 when I get up

my zero note flop posts will outlive all of you

the only thing I’m grinding are my teeth by accident

oh come on man youre just being paranoid no ones ever died from anything

notice how linkedin isn’t on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

[Interview with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson on the Jonathan Ross show, ca. 2004, just after the release of SBaHJ 5 Electric Boogalive]

Self-explanatory