I’m never fully satisfied with my physical gender expression and I never know what to do about it.
I have days where I’m fine presenting AFAB and being perceived as AFAB. I have days where I wish I had a deeper voice. I have days where I wish I had a flatter chest. I have days where I wish I looked more like a boy, but a very feminine/androgynous boy if that even makes any sense.
I think that’s just a fact of being demifaer that I have to try harder to accept and cope with. My feelings fluctuate, my dysphoria fluctuates. I’m not sure if I will ever have one true “body” I can be 100% comfortable in all the time because my feelings aren’t concrete… as is the struggle of being underneath the genderfluid umbrella.
If anyone has any advice or opinions on what I’ve said here, I’d really appreciate it if you could share with me. I’m tagging this post with transmasc tags (even though I’m not transmasc myself) in hopes that the transmasc community can provide some insight as well.
Come to think of it, I’m honestly shocked I haven’t discussed this topic on my blog yet, since it’s really nothing new.
Yes, I'm a fat, hairy, balding trans man. No it's not a glowup, or a glowdown or an anything. I don't exist to be conventionally attractive. I'm not somebodies success story. And if I am, it's because I'm extremely happy and so glad I transitioned. I don't see a lot of ftm before & after glowups and hardly any mtf glowups which include non-conventionally attractive body types/people and I'm here for you all. We are a glowup, actually, because society can stick it's 'you have to look a certain way' up it's holes.
Reblog if this would work on you
Source
Video of Tama
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20 something from the deep south
Trans girl
Bisexual
Chaser in this context would refer to someone who would not treat me with respect (ie. Asking for personal info like address, or being a dick)
- I cant draw
This is objectively incorrect. You can produce art, and better than I can. I think what you mean to say (and sorry if I put words in your mouth) is "I cannot meet my expectations."
This is a toxic mindset. Don't think about your ability to produce the best art in the world, think about your ability to produce your best you can.
Whats important is that you keep trying. You will meet your expectations someday. I believe in you.
I can't draw + I hate it in myself + I'm useless + I'm ridiculous + I want to cry + my behavior is childish + I can't do anything right