Puck-jay - Puckjay

I wept as Cesar wept, I too was the same age as Alexander. Cesar had yet to conquer the world, I had yet to kiss a boy.

My dissertation if I didn't have to be a professional about it : you liked unreliable narrators, you loved dissecting author bias, what if I told you there was a THIRD SECRET THING THAT'S EVEN BETTER!!

So writers joke a lot about "drinking the tears of our readers", but I want to be so honest with you when I tell you that making you cry isn't our real goal. Making you feel is.

Kicking your feet? Giggling? Can't stop smiling? And yes, crying? Feeling anything, everything. That's our goal. That means we did The Job.

Had a lack-of-soup induced panic attack now I worship the gods of old

What I say in my paper: it cannot be said that emotional and moral complexity was absent from literature before the psychological novels

What I mean : if you EVER talk shit about my boy Claudas I will personally fight you.

What I say in my paper : this is an oversimplification that could almost be considered incorrect because of the lack of sources and hard evidence but it allows for a succinct explanation and a clearer point

What I mean : my mom is going to read this and if you’re making me write out the actual explanation for this you’ll be the one picking up the phone when she doesn’t understand

Can we and by that I mean can trans allies stop assuming people’s transition goals please???

My trans to do list looks like 1) get hairier 2) dress like I’m in a fantasy cartoon 3) sleep in grey sweatpants and no shirt on. Enough with the fitness advice.

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

Today on things I wish I could actually say in my masters dissertation :

The religious texts sound weird because they are full of references like and then THIS GUY! showed up, and THIS GUY! is clearly super important, because he is hyped up for a full paragraph but then you get absolutely no detail on THIS GUY! it's just, And then it was HIM, wink wink. You know. HIM. THIS GUY WE DEFINITELY ALL KNOW ABOUT.