“‘She Loves Me Like A Dog’ But Not In The Soft, Blindly Loyal Puppy Way. She Loves Like A Stray,

This too shall pass but like holy fuck

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.

⋆ Black and Orange Thinking

⋆ Dog

⋆ Untethered

⋆ The Soldier, The Sinner 

⋆  Ballet

Ευσέβεια, Efsevia. Piety. Showing honor and veneration to the gods and daimones, praising them and thanking them for what they do. Living a pious life.

Συγγένεια. Syngeneia. Kinship. It is through the city gods and gods of the Oikos (home, community) that we have friends, family, and neighbors. Honor the good men amongst them, bring protection and support to them, and be good to them.

Δικαιοσύνη. Dikaiosyne. Justice. Ruled by mighty Titan Themis, Justice is respecting the laws of nature, the gods, and the land. Without Justice, Law, and Order, we have Injustice, Impiety, and Chaos.

Ευδαιμονία. Evdaimonia. Happiness. Happiness is the gift of the bacchic gods Dionysos and many others, the kindly gods. Through good health and practices and piety and Justice and kinship, we find joy in our lives.

Αρετή. Aretē. Excellence and Virtue. To neglect the potential of excellence is to neglect the theurgical sciences the gods have given us. Do your best to self-better and become stronger and healthy as to be excellent for the gods.

Ξένια. Xenia. Hospitality. The highest and most honored tenet of our religion and the forefathers and he Zeus Xenios the hospitable. Welcoming Xenos, foreigners, in culture, tongue, religion, affiliation, into our life and practices and cities is the highest honor of Zeus Xenios and Athena Pallas of the City.

Χάρης. Kharis. Reciprocity and Favor. The gods and daimones give when we give and we give so they give. Honor the gods and cal to them in times of want and need, give good offerings and libations and praise them so they may speak your name and wishes.

Μέτρον. Metron. Moderation. No things In excess for they poison the mind, body, and soul. Practice moderation in exercise, consumption, alcohol, health, sciences, and arts and all other things.

Κάθαρσης. Katharsis. Purity. To pray to the gods impure and pour libations of sweet wine to them, they will not hear your prayers but spit them back at you. Never disrespect the gods with the impurities of daily life and miasma.

Σοφία. Sophia. Wisdom. Be wise in all things and trust Athena the wise to guide you, Apollon the light to shine the way for you, Hekate the torch bearer to make the dark to be walkable, and Hermes the guide to lead you to good things.

feeling like diane from bojack horseman when she got medicated and lost her ability to write the gritty shit.

the things I hate most in this world are myself and the fact that I’m still alive.

reading in my bed is so hard now that it’s uninterrupted. i miss you my sweet girl, so so much. i hope the Gods are taking great care of you.

bpd is a bitch. miss you forever and always michael, im sorry i truly am, wish i knew what i did so i could atleast try to be better.

michael i search and scan every damn tweet and every new song added to every playlist you make. i cant believe i meant nothing to you. after all this time, not one day goes by where you think of me. i’m not even worth a text back, an acknowledgment, a godforsaken breath in my direction.

fuck you. fuck it all. i wish i hated you. i hope you find everything you ever wanted in that fuck ass disgusting place you moved to. don’t come back, not now, not ever.

i hate how every man i ever love is a narcissistic, unfeeling asshole. i give up. i won’t make friends, i won’t love anyone, i cant do this anymore. being alone hurts, but mourning every person i ever lose for YEARS like they’re dead hurts way worse.

thank you michael, for ruining me. for ruining everything without so much as a fucking clue to what i could have done.

fuck you. hope you’re happy.

i just want to give up. i’m tired of being damaged goods n hurting everyone accidentally.