Bpd Is A Bitch. Miss You Forever And Always Michael, Im Sorry I Truly Am, Wish I Knew What I Did So I

god i just feel so fucking empty. i wish i could just like actually be able to make friends so i don’t have to be alone all the time?? but making friends as an adult is stupidly hard.

tbh i should just go back to being a fanfic writer, i had so many online friends back then it was crazy lol

the realization that if Uriel was smart he would in fact know about this account, but i don’t think he cares that much to silently stalk me so for now i think i’m safe??

i know it sounds stupid but praying in the quiet hours of the morning will always be one of my favorite things.

(god i never thought i would say that lol, but here we are,, life is weird but my gods are good and that is all that matters)

i don’t know who i am. i feel like i have no personality of my own i just mirror others. i want to be me, but i don’t know who she is. how do i find her?? why can’t i just know who i am????

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”

my heart hurts, everything hurts, i leave teeth marks in everything i’ve ever loved

TW: brief mention of SA and physical assault

struggling to eat again, my therapy for this week had to be cancelled, and i feel like i should die. will i be sent back to the psych ward? probably not. do i want to be? kinda, i don’t feel good :/

missing you michael, and the girl i think i’ll call sachiel.. hoping that a code name that is two layers deep won’t tip anyone off loll

writer in the dark & liability -lorde

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