I Hate Being Emotionally Deregulated, Why Can’t People Just Care?

This is the sacred duck he got an important message:

i know it sounds stupid but praying in the quiet hours of the morning will always be one of my favorite things.

(god i never thought i would say that lol, but here we are,, life is weird but my gods are good and that is all that matters)

it’s so crazy how you think you forget something but your body just remembers. had a trauma flashback yesterday abt my residential stay which i thought was weird and sure as shit, two years ago today i was shipped off to nashville.

i completely had no idea the exact date but apparently i never forgot.

new year, new font. i was never too attached to the courier, but i think playfair is truly me.

i’m going to start screaming and crying pretty soon. like i am so SO tired of caring SO much for people who don’t even have the courtesy to officially end things.

i just keep getting abandoned over and over and over again and i will end up in the psych ward oh my god.

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

i hate how i am rotten from the inside out as a person. why can’t i get it right? why can’t i figure it out? why can’t i change to be enough?

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”

i just think it’s silly that my parents were a little sucky and now i’m a 19 year old with a personality disorder and an emotional support stuffed animal