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Big bat does not let his Robin being friend with Kid Flash

But we know how it will end

Reference:

If someone made it before me I'm sorry pls don't kill me!!!!

Okay, I just have a realisation, so we seen Damien and Danny as twins, we seen Dick and Danny as twins, heck we even have seen Tim and Danny being sort of twins as well

But you know what we haven’t seen????

I present to you my headcanon:

Billy Batson and Danny being twins

I have made what I think is the shitty-est dad joke in existence and I love it

So I'm in hell (the nether in Minecraft) with my friends, yah know the usual. So this one friend and I come across a Bastion which results in lots of screaming on my part and death for the both of us but as we’re exploring trying to find our way around I found a random loot chest with a banner in it which my friend gets  hyped about and asks if he can have it. So as he comes and finds me so I can hand it off I make the passing comment of ‘it’s like Bruce’ ... like the banner, like Bruce Banner. This is what I mean by shitty as in actually shitty not just its so shitty it’s funny shitty. Anyway my friend gets what I mean and finds it kinda funny in a pain way cause he’s a nerddd so at least there’s that.

Martian Manhunter: Shazam, not to alarm you, but you have not breathed in 10 minutes.

Shazam; Whoops! I forget sometimes.

Martian Manhunter: It’s alright, I often forget to blink.

Batman:

There's unexplored comedic potential with Captain Marvel/Shazam and his powers.

I know when they say "the power of Zeus" they focus on lightning, but Zeus is also a shapeshifter in mythology, that's one of his favorite forms of abuse of power.

Theoretically, Billy could be like Beast Boy or the Martians, and being a child, he would inevitably do dumb shit with this power.

Imagine him transforming into a goose and asking someone to post something like this

Stakeout

Batman: Oracle, status report.

Oracle: [over the comms] the teams are all in position. Things are quiet so far.

Batman: Hm. Ok, thank you Oracle. I’ll check in on them. [switches over to Nightwing and Robin’s frequency]

-

Nightwing: -nd I’ve already bought it! You need to socialise more; this is an important part of your childhood.

Robin: No.

Nightwing: It’s so cute, though. You’ll look adorable!

Robin: [with feeling] No.

Nightwing: [huffs] At least try it on; I already paid for it.

Robin: I am NOT going trick-or-treating.

Batman: …[switches over to Orphan and Batgirl’s comms]

-

Batgirl: -so then I said “you put that hand anywhere near me again I’ll break it off” and he-

Orphan: B is listening now.

Batgirl: oh, hey B. Anyway then we had sex and he had this-

Batman: [cuts off the feed before he becomes even more traumatised] …

Batman: …ok. [tunes into Red Robin and Red Hood’s frequency]

-

Red Hood: [in a fake posh voice] the handyman?!!! How could you DO this to me Dolores?!

Red Robin: [in a high-pitched voice] How could I?!! How could I NOT?? You married your office long before I ever fucked Juan-Eduardo!

Red Hood: Don’t you DARE put this on me! I knew I shouldn’t have hired that ridiculously good looking sonofabitch!

Red Robin: Hah! Well that wouldn’t have stopped me from sleeping with CHAD!

Red Hood: NO!

Red Robin: [Triumphantly] OH YES

Red Hood: NO! MY BEST FRIEND?? WILL THE LIES NEVER END DOLORES??

Red Robin: YES! And let me tell you- he was SO MUCH better than you. He-

Red Hood: YOU’RE TEARING ME APART DOLORES

Red Robin: [breaking character] nice one

Red Hood: thank you

Batman: [over the comms] what are you DOING?

Red Robin: Hi B. There’s a couple in the building across from us who’re having a huge fight. We’re giving them voices.

Red Hood: [in his fake voice] Look at all these papers! These papers that I’m waving around! Look at them!!

Red Robin: [as “Dolores”] Well if you love your papers so much why don’t you MARRY THEM?

Red Hood: MAYBE I WILL

Red Robin: I HATE YOU! I have always hated you! and what’s more- I HATE your MOTHER.

Red Hood: [gasps] MY MOTHER IS A SAINT AND A GIFT TO MANKIND

Red Robin: YOUR MOTHER IS A DECREPIT OLD WHORE

Red Hood: I WILL- DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME DOLORES

Red Robin: [hisses] Whenever the Mets play, I wish they would lose.

Red Hood: [gasps] YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?? ME -the man who obviously bought every piece of Mets Merch known to man and display them in every room of our apartment like a tool?! HOW COULD YOU??!

Red Robin: Well what are you gonna do about it? HUH?

Red Hood: WHAT AM I GONNA DO? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’LL DO! I’M GONNA TAKE THIS GUN- [breaks character] Ohmygod he’s got a gun! Shit fuck moving out

Red Robin: We’re coming Dolores!

[Line goes dead]

Batman: …[stares unseeingly at the sky]

Oracle: Aw man, and it was just getting good too.

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Batman: captain marvel, you have been spotted multiple times with this boy, *holds up a picture of Freddy*

Captain Marvel: oh yeah! That's Freddy :]

Batman: is he your sidekick?

Captain Marvel: no he's my boss :D

JL: *utter confusion*

There is no real winning when your a shazam villain cause you ethier a grown ass adult beating the shit out of a 10 year old or getting the shit beat out of you by a 10 year old