Chapter 423.

Writing Description Notes:

Updated 9th September 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted

Eating

Drinking

Warm/Hot

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Kris and Asriel but dressed as Marlo and Yawzee from Super Smashing Fighters

Don't Forget - Games aren't real!

Random things I keep forgetting about -

Cale is the mysterious priest that will show up in the Whipper and Paerun kingdoms history

Eruhaben is a swordmaster

Bud is also a swordmaster

Bud has a smelling ancient power

Ogcale! Still had the soul of a regresses (Now will he regress as krs or Cale)

Ogcale! Still has the soul of a Thames making him a hunter

Choi Han will become a god

Raon is a dragon lord

*Cale is technically a saint of death

*Cage has healing powered and is also technically a holy maiden

*Mary is technically the queen of death

*All 3 of them refuse said titles

To some degree’s Taylor and Cage have hit on Cale

Cale when around choosing high rank officials, this includes at least 2 emperors

Cale smells like nature, so like a forest or something

Princes Alberu will live a long life compare to humans so he plans to retire in Endable

There is a penguin tribe

These are just some fun things I forgot about and am just catching while re-reading. It’s fun to see how the characters progress and just see thing and be like “oh yeah that was a thing!”.

Like remember when Cale first meet Clopeh? He pretended to be some holy entity send by god to burn a lake just to fuck with him. Like why （＾∇＾）

Or how some of the dragon sayers are bffs with dragons!

I despise Venion so much omg

Writing Theory - Conflict 101

THEORY

goal + obstacle = conflict -> plot

You may have heard that a story needs conflict, but what does that mean?

No, it's not explosions. Or murder. Or smut.

Your character wants something, that's the goal. Something is in the character's way, that's the obstacle. The way your character deals with the obstacle to reach their goal is what makes an engaging conflict.

You see this on a plot level as well as on an individual scene level: Character wants X, but obstacle Y, so they have to go do Z

Conflict is like the engine of the plot, so if it's missing in a scene, then it's likely to feel redundant, boring, as if the story came to a halt (because it did; the engine stopped).

The goal and obstacle pair generally appear in two orders, with a "reaction" element:

Character sets a goal, but an obstacle happens, so the character reacts by changing course

Something happens (obstacle), character reacts to it and decides on the next action (goal)

You can alternate between the two, then you get something like this: character tries to accomplish something, something gets in their way, forcing a new approach, character reacts to the changes and decides how to move on from here, sets a new goal, tries to reach goal, faces obstacle...

This can also keep your character active rather than passive. Even in a reactionary scene, your character is responding and making a decision, rather than being a puppet to external forces. It can be smart to not have too many reactionary scenes back-to-back, as this can also feel passive. The goal-obstacle-reaction type scenes don't really have this problem and you can intersperse them with reactionary scenes now and then for variation.

You can have one major goal and many smaller goals. The goal(s) can also shift over the course of the story.

If you struggle to think of an obstacle, ask yourself: what is preventing my character from achieving their goal right now? Why can't they walk up to the villain and defeat them? Why can't they pull their love interest into a kiss? Why is your story longer than two paragraphs?

Ideally, goals and obstacles (and conflicts) are interwoven with character development, theme, etc., making for a solid plot where all these elements form one smooth fabric together. As a beginner, it's alright to first pick one thing to exercise rather than trying to balance all these things at once. Learn to create these bare bones of a plot and then improve upon that foundation.

EXAMPLE: Revenge of the Sith

Anakin would like Padmé to not die. = goal; He doesn't know how to prevent it. = obstacle

Stop the Sith = goal; Not knowing who the Sith Lord is = obstacle

These form conflicts and they push the plot forward. There are several smaller goals, like defeating Dooku/saving the Chancellor, preventing Palpatine from dying, manslaughter, killing Obi-Wan...

A scene with the goal - obstacle - (reaction) order: Anakin wants to use Palpatine's knowledge (goal), but Mace Windu is about to make that permanently impossible (obstacle). Thus, Anakin needs to pivot from yelling to slashing in order to reach his goal.

A scene with the obstacle - (reaction) - goal order: Anakin, the superstar Jedi, has just helped a Sith Lord kill a Jedi master (obstacle/problem; goes against the bigger "stop the Sith" goal). This has an effect on him (reaction; "What have I done??") and leads to a decision: join Palpatine. This then sets him on his next goal(s): destroy the Jedi to prove he's worthy.

Here you see how those two "types" of scenes flow into each other.

EXERCISE

Write two short scenes - one for each type (reactionary and goal-obstacle-reaction). They don't have to be unrelated.

Now, write another two scenes, but this time make them successive.

See if you can do this in the form of a short story: write 5-10 successive scenes.

Celebrate that you've just written a story! :D

These techniques, like so often with writing, need practice to sink in. So write some fun short stories or wacky scenes, and you'll notice you get better the more you do it. Have fun!

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So I was wondering why Susie would think Toriel would have handcuffs just lying around in her kitchen drawer…

…but I remembered, Toriel used to be married to the town Police Chief.

That could explain why Susie is so nervous and formal around Toriel. How does one even conduct themselves in the home of a Police Chief’s wife?

Susie seems a little wary of being told to drop and do pushups or something.

At the same time, she likes Toriel quite a lot. Toriel seems to have left a strong, positive impression on Susie at some point.

Toriel and Susie met a long time ago, and don’t seem to have met since.

Susie remembers her from back then, but Toriel doesn’t remember Susie - she only knows who Susie is because Alphys talks about her.

It’s possible that Toriel might have helped a much younger Susie out of a bind with the Hometown police at some point, as the wife of the Police Chief at the time. Maybe she was found as a runaway from a nearby town?

Lmao there was a comment on a chapter of King’s Maker that went “It’s always the redheads that cause the chaos” and someone simply replied with “Cale Henituse” and everyone was agreeing with them. No questions asked none needed