I was gonna post this as a reply for this post by @he4d-banger but it got too long so I’m making it a separate post.
I have talked about this before but I’ll talk again because I love talking about Cale’s complex emotional state.
More than pushing them away, Cale completely ignored his grief which has made him completely emotional constipated. This has lead to many side affects which get glossed over most of the time since we read the novel from Cale’s pov.
Some that I can remember from the top of my head right now are: dissociation, selective memory, depression, anxiety, stress and tons of physical problems like eating disorder, etc. which I’ll get into more another time. His self destructive tendencies based on the decisions he makes are all because of his emotional constipation.
Cale’s denial over his own symptoms has become chronic over the years even tho it’s fairly visible from other peoples perspective. Some instances I can remember where we see Cale’s condition from other peoples pov are: moments when Alberu tells him he’ll definitely get his slacker life, everyone’s reaction to him smiling after crying, Choi Han meeting younger Cale, the villains’ reaction when Cale gets angry, everyone telling him he’s too weak and skinny, Ron and Choi Han’s pov during side story 7 after Cale dreamed about CJS and LSH first death anniversary, etc. Everyone can recognize that he’s not well.
And about the venting on destroying stuff, that’s exactly correct. Many times when we see the fight from the other pov of the villain, most of the dialogue is about how angry and terrifying Cale looks. Of course part of that could be due to the effect of Dominating Aura, but they specifically mention Cale’s expression and the look in his eyes a lot. That’s what truly terrifies them. Cale doesn’t recognize this but he’s really expressive, everyone says that he’s very expressive and lets his emotions slip through his face.
Another case when he couldn’t control his emotions anymore was when he cried. An interesting fact is that people who aren’t used to crying and/or hold themselves back from crying, once they do actually cry they can’t stop the flow of tears and are motionless and/or rather calm and quiet. It’s that silent unstoppable crying that Cale displayed. His grief finally exploded after meeting LSH and he couldn’t understand the sadness he was feeling at that moment because the meeting ended with consolidation and relief. All the pain over the deaths of his best friends finally released.
That is a complete contrast to his reaction in side story 7 after the first anniversary of his team’s death. When he arrived home he just collapsed on the floor expressionless. Not once did he cry. But the way he collapsed at that moment said a lot about his state at the time. All the stress accumulated in his body from holding back his emotions all day today affected his physical health to total exhaustion
Actually in my opinion SS7 is one of the best chapters about examining Cale’s emotional state. There are multiple visible of him suppressing his emotions like: keeping a neutral expression all day around, refusing to mention what day it was tomorrow even though everyone knew, not closing his eyes in front of the grave because the memories would resurface, the small panic attack shown by his shortage of breath, background silence and feeling of heaviness, and you can see how burned out emotionally and physically he feels. The only way he wouldn’t feel these things was by working, as it is noted multiple times throughout the story that he never took days off.
And my favorite moment was when we see Cale waking up from the dream and very clearly experiencing signs of ptsd and a panic attack. He was feeling cold despite the entire house being heated with magic, cold sweat running down his face, shortage of breath as soon as he woke up and a distressed expression as shown from Ron and Choi Han’s pov He also felt the need to hear noises and pet the kids to make him feel a sense of attachment with reality since the silence in his memories made him feel suffocated. Tho Cale himself couldn’t recognize these symptoms.
That side story also shows how he has grown emotionally throughout the novel now becoming more emotionally open with others.
I can also go on about his selective memory, anxiety, get more into his self destructive lifestyle and about his obvious signs of depression during his team leader days and early part of the novel while touching on his childhood trauma, but this post is already long enough so I’ll leave those for another day.
Have you guys ever noticed that all of Kim Rok Soo’s abilities that are revealed are related to time?
Record: Allows KRS to have perfect recollection of the past
Instant: Being able to move beyond human limitations in the present
I wonder if his other abilities are also related to time. Maybe he has one that is related to the future.
Rereading Trash of the Count’s Family has really given me insight into the perspectives of the people around him. The first time is like walking in blind, because Cale describes their expressions and actions- but the narrative doesn’t dive into their emotions or past, so we’re left in the dark for why their expressions and actions are significant.
Very happy about finally understanding the depth of these characters, and the hidden meaning to Cales actions and how it affects them.
Me to the shadow in the living room at 4:57 AM: No you do not understand the perfection of White Star’s death being so quick and unimpactful. He is someone who lives for the attention. His god complex is so empowered that he hates when something doesn’t go his way or he’s not the center of attention drives him insane. The whole fated rival bullshittery with Cale was just that, making it all about himself again. He needs to be important! So Yoo Ryeo Han making his death so quick and completely forgotten in a span of paragraphs is literally the finest torture for that man’s nonexistent never resting soul. It’s not that Cale didn’t struggle to kill him. We didn’t really get to see what Cale was feeling using Instant like the time he broke the statues, we only saw what everyone else was seeing. Cale was probably struggling a lot going towards White Star. But that doesn’t matter! He will never know that and he died with the thought that he was killed in the span of 2 sec without even a fight. THAT’S PATHETIC FOR HIM! A man who lived for the drama, died i. The most uneventful way possible for him and that’s the HELL for him and I LOVE IT! It’s similar to Locke’s death in QON where he died off screen and barely given a paragraph to describe his death. Literally the biggest FU to these bastards is not caring about their deaths. It’s what they would have wanted and we ain’t giving them that. So what I’m trying to say is that Yoo Ryeo Han is literally a genius when writing their character and especially scenarios depending on their personalities and how they would react in those situatio—
The shadow demon: *crying in a fetus position*
You are an anonymous professional assassin with a perfect reputation. You lead an ordinary life outside of your work. You’ve just been hired to kill yourself.
(Sorry for the crude "___" form but apparently the Tab key doesn't work!! 😕)
Timeline POVs
___________________age_____year(tBoaH)_____year(TCF)
Ancient times______-_______~10,000 B.F.C*__- Sheritt's death____~800____8-9,000 B.F.C___- Cale B.'s birth____0_______~220** B.F.C____- Eruhaben's birth___0_______219 B.F.C_______- Choi Han arrives___17______600-700_________- KRS's og birth***__0_______<=763___________<=767 1!KRS's birth______0_______767_____________745 2!KRS's birth______0_______-_______________763 Ron's birth________0_______721_____________- Beacrox's birth____0_______751_____________- Alberu's birth_____0_______758_____________- Destr. of Molan____-_______~759****________- Cale's birth_______0_______763_____________- On & Hong's births_0_______771, 774________- Raon's hatching____0_______777_____________- Destr. of Harris___-_______28th March 781__- OG!Cale regresses__40______803_____________- KRS transmigrates__36______-_______________781 Cale meets ChoiHan_18______781_____________- Meeting On & Hong__7, 10___-_______________781 Meeting Ron________60______781_____________- Meeting Beacrox____30______781_____________- Raon's escape______4_______781_____________- Meeting Alberu_____23______-_______________781 Meeting Cale B.____16-21___-_______________783 Sealed god's test__20/38___783 (for 2!KRS)_765 or 787 (for 1!KRS)
28th March 781 - the only exact date we got I believe
Events which happened only in tBoaH (the Birth of a Hero timeline) or in both are on the left, events from TCF (Trash of the Count's Family timeline) are on the right.
"Destr." is short for "destruction", since I couldn't find a better shorter word
1!KRS and 2! KRS refer to Kim Rok Soo from Earth 1 (the 36 years old KRS turned MC Cale) and Kim Rok Soo from Earth 2 (the KRS who's 20 years old). (...which lead me to the whole confusion with dimension travel ages?? That's why there are 2 sides. How do you count age, from which timeline, before or after regression? So I decided to include both.)
* - Before Felix Calendar begins ** - or >240 B.F.C if his first life counts *** - the birth of KRS's originally intended body, taken over by White Star (Cale B.) through reincarnation **** - I think it was mentioned that Beacrox was 8? I'm not 100% sure tho since I don't remember the chapter
Why didn't you just tell me that in the beginning?
I was afraid it would scare you off.
People have a very consistent habit of completely forgetting Ralsei's existence.
Maybe he even forgets it himself sometimes.
Queen often outright ignores him...
Noelle doesn't usually acknowledge him, though she's usually very polite and friendly...
And it's not like she can't see him - she sees him get into the teacup with Susie and Kris...
...and realizes he's standing in front of her at one point.
She even wonders who he is...
...but, strangely, never asks him his name or talks to him when she gets the chance.
Even Susie, who is generally very good about remembering him...
...sometimes just forgets he's there.
(even squashing Ralsei and walking over him on her way to ask Kris if they missed her)
Strangely, Ralsei doesn't seem to mind this.
But there is one exception: when he finally puts his foot down to stop the Roaring.
Suddenly he's got everyone's attention:
Susie gives him a concerned look, Noelle notices him, and he completely cows Berdly, which might be a first for the whole cast.
Even Queen reels from what he says.
This leads me to believe that the reason people ignore Ralsei isn't from some sinister magic thing.
It's because he usually doesn't take a stand for his own existence.
He's so wrapped up in his "purpose" that he doesn't allow himself to have an identity.
Even to Ralsei, "Ralsei" barely exists.
And although people don't intend to, sometimes that means he winds up forgotten when he's standing right next to them.
Reaction fics are a beloved trope of LOTCF fanfiction, but let me pose a challenge to the concept. Rather than a god deciding to show the audience Cales life as a punishment/gift for the future/to help them in some way, what if it was instead just a godly whim?
The reason they are there is incomprehensible. It doesn't make sense. The god either won't explain, or doesn't care to. The scenes they're shown are helpful in some ways, but not in others. Why are they here? How do they get out?
I'd like to see a reaction fic where the goal of the audience is to leave. They neither want nor need to see the deep, dark depths of their leader. And they will never, ever accept something without knowing the intentions behind it.
This is better if there's another driving force behind why they are desperate to leave. Someone is missing (Cale?), something is happening on the outside (something important), or they're getting signs- hints- figurative or literal writing on the walls from the previous participants in this game that don't spell a happy ending for what comes after this. Something is behind this, and that something doesn't truly care about them.
No one to assure them, "if you just watch his life, everything will be fine." Or when it is assured, the audience fights back. The god assured them, again, they just have to watch. Watch and understand. But they find ways to get out- they have to be dragged back, one by one, into that theater room. It should be fun to watch them analyze the manners of their leader or his backwards thinking, except it isn't. They keep fighting against it. Why are they fighting? Something that isn't human could never understand.
It's an idea I had based off our own manipulation. We write reaction fics for our own amusement. We want to force these characters into a box and make them react to Cale. We are a god that does this- not to help them, not to give a gift to them- it is for our amusement. It's fun to watch them react.
But isn't it out of character for them to not fight back? With biting words and violent actions? These characters don't simply allow themselves to be beaten into submission. Coerced into bowing their heads. We'd have to tie them to their chairs and make them sit and watch. And that's something I see in a lot of reaction fics too.
Usually the best way to keep these characters in place is via the Cale Method. Cale is injured and has to heal, it's a price he has to pay, he's being threatened, etc. It'd be cool if there was something else forcing them down like muzzled dogs. Just my thoughts though.
*anyone is free to run with the ideas from this or any idea built off of this (with no credit)
**but I'd love to be sent anything like it
If your plot feels flat, STUDY it! Your story might be lacking...
Stakes - What would happen if the protagonist failed? Would it really be such a bad thing if it happened?
Thematic relevance - Do the events of the story speak to a greater emotional or moral message? Is the conflict resolved in a way that befits the theme?
Urgency - How much time does the protagonist have to complete their goal? Are there multiple factors complicating the situation?
Drive - What motivates the protagonist? Are they an active player in the story, or are they repeatedly getting pushed around by external forces? Could you swap them out for a different character with no impact on the plot? On the flip side, do the other characters have sensible motivations of their own?
Yield - Is there foreshadowing? Do the protagonist's choices have unforeseen consequences down the road? Do they use knowledge or clues from the beginning, to help them in the end? Do they learn things about the other characters that weren't immediately obvious?