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bruce and some little birds

part 2

In a shocking, and unintentional, turn of events, Tim and Jason both end up at the airport on the same day. Jason heading to Ethiopia, and Tim to find his parents in Egypt.

Unfortunately, Tim is still very young and the airport is a lot more overwhelming than he originally thought it would be. Jason happens to have a soft spot for kids, especially kids who are trying their damndest not to cry.

Both Tim and Jason miss their flights. Bruce storms into the airport like an avenging mother bird who’s chick was stolen directly from the nest and takes Jason and Tim home with him and lets neither out of his sight for days.

Dick returns home from space to two living brothers.

The real reason why none of the bat-boys are allowed in the kitchen

Girl when I tell you my life flashed before my eyes

Batfam as things me and my friends have said

Steph: Fucked up I probably could have worn a crop top today 😔

Jason: Yeah well crop top fucked up is trop cop

Jason: and ACAB

Tim: You would baffle the psych department at any university.

-

Damian: You will never guess who just learned there are different breeds of horses.

[Simultaneously]

Tim: Is it Dick?

Babs: Is it Dick?

(is was)

-

Damian: DICK WOKE HIM (the cat) UP!

Damian: SO FUCKED UP!

Jason: Kill hi-

Dick: I'm sticking a fork into a power outlet.

Jason: Okay he's on it

-

Tim: I'm not autistic, probably, I'm the other one.

Dick: Artistic

Steph: A Cancer

-

Jason: Get me, uhh, a crapple juice

Duke: And if they don't have that?

Jason: A bullet to the head.

-

Bruce: Tim what do you do when you have a fever?

Tim: Sleep???

[several people are typing]

-

Tim: Who wants to play a little game?

Cass: What is the little game?

Tim: How long do you think it's been since I last slept?

Cass: 39 hours.

Tim: What the fuck

Tim: How did you do that what the fuck?

-

Tim: Wait wait wait, I thought energy drinks were good for when you're dehydrated?

Bruce: You.

Bruce: You're thinking of sports drinks.

Tim: What's the difference?

-

Dick: You don't ever talk about your parents.

Tim: I don't ever talk about my parents because... *shrugs* they're fine.

-

Duke: You all need to go to bed or I'm calling the cops

Tim: LOL call GCPD and see what happens (nothing)

Duke: Ok

Duke: Called. I don't think they're allowed to say that word but whatever.

”Wait.” The faintest sound darting out from beneath the door. So so quiet, even though there is nothing else to make noise. Even though there is nothing else to hear it.

“Wait, please.” You turn, key already half in your hands pocket, caught stiff from the impossibility of it. It’s barely louder than a murmur. If your hearing hadn’t twitched just the slightest, if you hadn’t stopped just to double check, you’d be gone. The universe would be shut, dust sheets covering the planets and all the windows and stars locked. Lights off.

“Please?” It’s so unsure. So fragile. The silence threatens to break the noise instead of the other way round. Are they unwilling or unable to raise their volume, to risk being heard, to take up space, to actually stand up and decide they want to exist? What horrors do they think being known will bring?

“Please. I don’t want to be left behind.”

You open the door, and the universe flickers on.

You are Death. The last living thing has died. You've put the chairs on the tables, turned out the lights, and locked the universe behind you. Something whispers from behind the door.

Bruce: Who is that?

Dick: A kid I met in Bludhaven.

Jason: Oh god, not you too.

Damian, whispering: Are we sure Richard isn't my biological brother?

Tim, also whispering: Yes... Maybe?

Jason, joining the conversation: The adoption gene got transferred through osmosis

Bruce: Where did you get them?

Dick: I was on patrol and they wanted to show me some flips.

Bruce: So they're an acrobat?

Dick: Yeah!

Bruce: Alfred!

Dick: Huh?

Alfred: I shall reinforce all the chandeliers.

Dick: Wait that's not necessary!

Everyone else: ???

Dick: Seriously they're only staying with me a couple days.

Bruce: DAYS?! Alfred order the newest chandeliers.

Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.

Arthur: So you have magic?

Merlin: Uh… yeah?

Arthur: for how long?

Merlin: Since birth.

Arthur: And you’re a dragon lord?

Merlin: Yeah my father was and it gets passed down.

Arthur: Sounds like royalty.

Merlin: No? I don’t think so.

Arthur: Yes it is, that means you’re a noble, a lord. We can get married now.

Merlin: WHAT???

To my readers:

If your comment is long and rambling and full of quotes you enjoyed, I will love it.

If your comment is full of story related questions, I will love it.

If your comment is a single sentence, I will love it.

If your comment is a single emoji, or a string of them, I will love it.

If you comment, I will love it. It's that simple.

there was a point in Gotham where the nightlife dynamics got really weird because one of the batkid’s came up with the game ‘rogue Pokémon’ where whenever there was a multiple-rogue outbreak they would all split up and find a rogue to choose as their own, and then while fighting them they’d subtly heard them towards one of the other batkids and their chosen rogue, and then they’d manipulate the rogues into fighting each other while they stood to the side and yelled fighting techniques like Pokémon trainers, and eventually the rogues started teaming up with Batman to make them stop playing it because it was making them feel objectified and demeaned.

the game came to a natural conclusion when the Joker broke out specifically because he thought it would be fun to be one of the Pokémon used by the batkids, except when he made himself known to Red Hood Jason just shot him point blank in the skull and said it was the rogue Pokémon equivalent of using a masterball on him.

the batkids are banned from creating their own games.