AU, Where Bruce Accidentally Gets De-aged (physically And Mentally), And The First Person He Bumps In

And done! :D I really like the idea of Damian experimenting more artistic skills, like body painting- But first he gotta start with something small, so- Makeup!

And I wanted to put Tim in this because of the Caroline Hills thing, he must be more comfortable with makeup 👉🏻👈🏻

Bruce: Okay, let me get this straight-

Tim: More like let me get this bi you. 

Jason: Let us ace-ess the situation. 

Dick: Let’s see how this pans out.

Damian: I’m gay. 

Bruce: 

Bruce: That’s all great and all, but WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE KITCHEN FIRE?! 

Part 3 to this

Eddie was completely willing to let bygones be what they were.

He did a shitty thing unintentionally. Steve has been doing shitty things for years with zero consequences. They’re even, right?

It’s not like he’s ever going to see Steve again anyways. He doesn’t throw parties anymore and Eddie doesn’t even have a VCR to warrant going into Family Videos.

So, bygones. As in, bye, gone to the stabbing feeling in his chest when he thinks about what happened for too long.

“Robin Buckley’s being weird.”

Eddie blinks back into the chaotic mess of the art room, “Isn’t she always weird?”

“I mean,” Jeff shrugs. “She been glaring at you the entire class. Did the same thing yesterday, too. I don’t even think she’s blinking.”

Eddie looked over his canvas and, yeah. She’s glaring at him. He turns his frown upside down and gives her a little wave which - “Oh. Oh no.”

“Dude,” Jeff hisses. “She’s coming over here.”

The nervous energy that typically hovers around a Robin is strangely absent when she stops next to his table. It’s a little intimidating. As is her cryptic ass greeting, “It’s been four days. You need to apologize.”

“For what?” He asks and then realizes what this is. “Did Steve Harrington really send his coworker to bully me?”

“I’m more than his coworker,” She scoffs. “And that’s not the point. You need to apologize to him. For-.”

“Apologize for what, not watering my club down to make him comfortable?”

Thats not what happened and Eddie knows it. He knows he crossed a line but he doesn’t understand it and it makes him defensive. He can’t make himself shut up, “You can tell him I’m sorry he can’t take a joke.”

Robin’s eyes narrow and then she turns around, calling across the room, “Mrs Keller, does this paint stain?”

“It’s washable.”

Robin nods once to the teacher and then immediately turns around and flips Eddie’s paint tray into his lap. She grabs the bottle of paint he was using and coats him in blue paint before dropping the bottle on the floor.

Her voice is low and unapologetic even as she grabs a handful of napkins for him, “He doesn’t even want an apology. Do it anyways.”

Eddie is left stunned, as is their deathly quiet class, but Robin just turns to the teacher and declares, “I will accept my detention now.”

Girl when I tell you my life flashed before my eyes

Where there is love there is life

Tim is typing furiously at his laptop when Damian walks in, holding a katana.

Damian: Drake, do you know what time it is?

Tim: not looking up Uh, noon?

Damian: Wrong. It’s time for you to perish.

Tim: still typing Can it wait until I finish this report for Bruce?

Damian: pauses …Very well. But know that your doom is imminent.

Five minutes later, Damian returns with snacks and silently places them next to Tim.

Tim: smirks Thanks for the snacks, future executioner.

Damian: huffs I refuse to let you die of starvation before I defeat you.

Daycare

It’s not just Batman. All of Gotham hates magicians. Because they pull shit like this.

Some out-of-towner decides the best way to keep the Bats distracted while they kick up trouble would be to turn the family into children, thereby making them harmless without the associated alarms if they were to disappear.

Unfortunately, they’re not very good at this.

Alfred is greeted at the Batcave by the normal Batfamily, plus their pint-sized doubles. Every single person is struggling to handle their younger version.

Dick is frantically trying to keep an eye on the most adventurous nine year old. Jason is freaking out trying to responsible parent his eight year old self who’s screaming his head off about stranger danger. Tim and his eight year old double have not broken eye contact, and Tim is refusing to touch ‘it’ except with a bow staff. Steph is bribing hers with ice cream to keep her quiet and to stop her from attacking the other children again. Cass is attached to hers by child reins. Duke’s mini has already tried to escape explore three times and is over Duke’s shoulder to prevent any further attempts. Damian (in his mid teens) is trying to get his toddler self to stop grabbing everything, and failing.

Bruce had called Zatanna, but she’s on a JL mission at the moment. It’s going to be a long week.

Hey bestie, the ship is cute, but maybe it's time to give our eyes a rest and close ao3, okay? Your friends are starting to worry.

bruce letting duke learn how to drive on the way to school:

bruce: signal.

duke: hm?

bruce: duke, signal.

duke: uh… yeah?

bruce (raising his voice): signal!

duke (gripping the steering wheel): WHAT??

bruce (bracing himself): SIGNAL!!

damian (triple buckled in the backseat): your TURN SIGNAL, imbecile!

later, bruce: i need to start calling it a blinker.

literally 😭💚