Batkids Being Asked Who They Think Bruce’s Favorite Is:

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Dick: You use to be so cute and tiny..

Jason: And you use to be cool. We both changed.

Dick: Wha-?! I'm still cool!!

Jason: Okay, 'officer Grayson'. Cops aren't cool.

Dick: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO

Jason: STILL FRESH IN MY MIND, PIG!

Dick: LET IT GO!

Jason: NO. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID FUCK THE POLICE! THOSE WERE WORDS I LIVED BY!

Dick: OH MY GOD. YOURE THE ONLY ONE THAT STILL REMEMBERS THAT!

Tim, walking into the living room: I remember it.

Duke, from another room: I heard about it! You've lost 1000 aura man!

Cassandra, poking her head in: I've also heard about it.

Dick: EVERYONE SHUT UP.

Jason: Just like a cop to order people around like that, shameless.

Dick, groans: Fuuuuck-!

Dick: All of you are going to make me age like milk!

Damian, popping up behind him: Is it wrong to say it's too late for that?

Dick, practically shaking: Damian..I swear to God.

Everyone thinks Dick is a rule follower cause of the way he speaks, but his actions prove otherwise. Like I feel like he always says “that plan is insane we can’t do it” and then just turns around and does it himself but convinces himself it’s all good cause out loud he said it. Like he’s all “we have to listen to Bruce, he’s right” while he’s sneaking out with the batmobile.

You know all those humans are space orcs posts about how we anthropomorphise inanimate objects? Next time a computer asks me to confirm I’m human, I’m telling it about Fang, the small paper shredder at a neighbours house I met while helping her with organising and ended up feeding him different things over the course of a while bc there was that much to get rid of and if he ate too fast he overheated and had to be given time to calm down.

I cannot stress enough, he was not my paper shredder. He was the size of a waste paper bin under a desk, really simple. He was not named Fang by his owner. I have never not referred to him as Fang.

I spent a couple hours with Fang one day in the summer. It’s been years, I still think about Fang fairly regularly and consider getting a paper shredder like one might consider getting a dog. The worst part is everytime I get to that point in the line of thought, I think it wouldn’t be the same because it’s not Fang.

So I get emotionally invested in things quick.

Arthur: Do you really love me?

Merlin after almost two millennia waiting for him to return: You know, it's because of people like you that the Power Rangers announced their colors out loud.

Today I fell down the stairs while texting and when I got to the bottom I realized that I had hit the “audio message” function and sent them an entire 30 second recording of it

Oh. This is it?

I don’t want to be left behind. Please.

please don’t leave me too.

i dont want to be alone.

After being a superhero for decades and experiencing many awful events, you make a horrifying discovery: you don’t age and will never be able to retire

yeehaw, baby!

Repeat after me: Villain x Hero 👏 or 👏 Enemies to lovers 👏 ships 👏 aren't 👏 toxic 👏 because 👏 they 👏 hurt 👏 each 👏 other 👏 when 👏 they 👏 were 👏 E-N-E-M-I-E-S 👏 not 👏 when 👏 they 👏 were 👏 L-O-V-E-R-S. 👏

If you read the fic, leave the kudos. Leave a comment too, if possible. Just do it. It takes a few seconds of your time and it means the world to the writer.

Sincerely, me who just got told that my writing feels like watching a blockbuster movie. I don't care if they were sincere or not, I'll be thinking about that comment for the rest of my life and every time I feel bad about my art, I'll remember that someone once liked it.