Up And Coming Metal Artist Eddie Munson Covers His Favorite Song By Queer Pop Icon Steve Harrington,

The Batkids definitely forget that their comms are on and linked up to each other's, which is what leads to instances such as:

Cass humming some song for our twenty minutes, nobody has even thought about interrupting and several Batkids have taken to texting each other

Bruce flirting with Clark

Barbara doing asmr as she works and hacks. It gets slightly more concerning when she starts talking to her dolls.

Sound effects related to devastating injury and then that Batkid furiously huffing and puffing and trying to play it cool (Dami, while everyone grimaces)

Bruce flirting with Selina

Dick bitching about something stupid a JLA member did and then going quiet, and threatening everyone listening in

Duke making sound effects under his breath and catchphrase-celebrating unseen feats of heroism and/or parkour

Steph making grim but cheerful comments about near misses while driving, and then going "Haha just kidding. Got you guys good."

Bruce flirting with Khoa

Jason panting heavily, and clearly running for his life, before profusely thanking a bus driver

Tim making mission impossible sounds very quietly as he walked after bad guys at the edge of some rafters. Followed by him falling through them

Bruce being awkwardly flirted at by Riddler, followed by an ew straight from someone's soul

Alfred's random commentary

jason: you're so annoying.

dick: I love you too.

*later*

jason: fuck you.

dick: I love you too.

*even later*

jason: your face is dumb.

dick: I love you too.

*even later*

jason: ... I love you.

dick: *stares*

dick: are you sICK WHAT'S WRONG IS THE WORLD ENDING BRUCE GET IN HERE SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH JASON—

Batfam as things me and my friends have said

Steph: Fucked up I probably could have worn a crop top today 😔

Jason: Yeah well crop top fucked up is trop cop

Jason: and ACAB

Tim: You would baffle the psych department at any university.

-

Damian: You will never guess who just learned there are different breeds of horses.

[Simultaneously]

Tim: Is it Dick?

Babs: Is it Dick?

(is was)

-

Damian: DICK WOKE HIM (the cat) UP!

Damian: SO FUCKED UP!

Jason: Kill hi-

Dick: I'm sticking a fork into a power outlet.

Jason: Okay he's on it

-

Tim: I'm not autistic, probably, I'm the other one.

Dick: Artistic

Steph: A Cancer

-

Jason: Get me, uhh, a crapple juice

Duke: And if they don't have that?

Jason: A bullet to the head.

-

Bruce: Tim what do you do when you have a fever?

Tim: Sleep???

[several people are typing]

-

Tim: Who wants to play a little game?

Cass: What is the little game?

Tim: How long do you think it's been since I last slept?

Cass: 39 hours.

Tim: What the fuck

Tim: How did you do that what the fuck?

-

Tim: Wait wait wait, I thought energy drinks were good for when you're dehydrated?

Bruce: You.

Bruce: You're thinking of sports drinks.

Tim: What's the difference?

-

Dick: You don't ever talk about your parents.

Tim: I don't ever talk about my parents because... *shrugs* they're fine.

-

Duke: You all need to go to bed or I'm calling the cops

Tim: LOL call GCPD and see what happens (nothing)

Duke: Ok

Duke: Called. I don't think they're allowed to say that word but whatever.

bruce letting duke learn how to drive on the way to school:

bruce: signal.

duke: hm?

bruce: duke, signal.

duke: uh… yeah?

bruce (raising his voice): signal!

duke (gripping the steering wheel): WHAT??

bruce (bracing himself): SIGNAL!!

damian (triple buckled in the backseat): your TURN SIGNAL, imbecile!

later, bruce: i need to start calling it a blinker.

I’ve heard a lot of talk about how people outside of Gotham react to the culture but what about when the bats leave Gotham and have to remember it’s totally different

Nine pm metropolis

A cop approaching konner and Tim while they are walking

Cop: hey boys you guys doin-

Tim: (kicks him in the nuts) fuck off!

Kon: Tim what the fuck

Tim who had already grabbed kons wrist and started running: what are you trying to get kidnapped!

Kon: Tim he was just a cop

Tim: your point?

Kon: (face palming) babe this is metropolis not Gotham cops don’t kidnap people they help people

Tim: …cops do that?

Ugh scenarios where Bruce is literally suicidal, and has made many attempts, but keeps getting interrupted by his kids and alfred but they don't realise what he was going to do?and they don't know his mental state was that bad?? Sign me up cause I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort

13 yr old Bruce about to slit his throat in the bathroom, but alfred comes out of nowhere and tells him dinner is ready, he made his favourite cause he saw he looked off recently, and Bruce just goes out calmly and hugs him super tight?? Bruce, about to make a decision to end his life after he's all done raising dick (after he becomes nightwing) and knows that dick is set on the right path now and going to crime alley where his parents were shot to end it but ends up meeting jason instead?? After jason when he tied up all loose ends, closed cases, secured gotham good enough, About to go on patrol for one last time, then after he'll jump off, but then meets tim that evening saying he knows who he is?? Meeting cass just when he was planning to do it cause he genuinely hated himself, but seeing so many similarities between him and cass, knowing she sees them too and scared that after he suicides she'll get those ideas too cause they're so similar? Decides to try to help her?? Meeting nightwing when he was going to jump off cause dick wanted to surprise him from blud and he just thought Bruce was brooding?? getting a call from Damain in the middle of the day when he was about to stage a car crash and listens as damian (mad at him) asks him to come to the school to pick him up cause he got suspended for 2 days for knocking out a student for being racist.

CAN U IMAGINE A CONFRONTATION WHERE BRUCE THOUGHT THEY ALREADY KNEW?? AND HES TAKING THIS CASUAL BUT THEYRE FUCKING NOT??

AU where Damian feels really bad for hurting Tim but won't admit it out loud, so he goes into over protective mode.

... I made a part 2...

...Part 3...

EDIT: PROSHIPPERS GET OUT OF HERE YOU GOOFS

we all know about the weirdly accurate running joke of Batman’s adoption problem

but I raise you

the infinitely funnier idea that All of the Bats are Like That

to the point where all of the teams have an “our bat has acquired a child, I repeat OUR BAT HAS ACQUIRED. A. CHILD!!” program

because if you give a Bat a baby you are not getting it back.

Nobody knows if the Bats actually know how social services work because they will just. Pick up. Kids. Everywhere.

even the Bats who might not want kids of their own are 300% down for a new sibling or nibling

You’re half convinced it’s a hallucination, the monster with too many eyes and blue fur standing over you. It doesn’t stop shaking your arm though, insisting you run, telling you to get up and get out. Warning you of danger.

You stumble out of bed, pyjamas crumpled and eyes still heavy with sleep before hacking coughs bring you to the ground. Your lungs burn as you try to gasp in air on your hands and knees, one hand tangling in the nearest thing keeping you stable. When your eyes fill with water and the coughing subsided, the monster is staring at you. Its claws are extended but at a distance, close enough to hold onto, far enough away to not frighten you. It’s scared.

The hand curled in its soft fur is dark with ash. The weight in your throat is smoke. Your nose tingles. Light flickers from behind the entrance of your bedroom door. Monster has noticed it too.

You get out safely that night. Your parents too, and your siblings. The firefighters told you how lucky you were, waking up in time to get everyone to safety. They said other things too, but you weren’t paying attention. You watched the house go up in flames, and a monster that can’t leave its home under the bed wave from what used to be your bedroom window.

Now in your mid teens, you forgot all about the monster under your bed. One night though, it wakes you up saying “You’re not safe. You need to get out of here”

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