Maybe We Are Not At Any Center Of The Universe But At The Very Bottom Of It, Looking Up.

A special shoutout to LGBTQ+ Mormons and exmos this pride; to you in the closet, sitting awkwardly in sacrament meeting, finding excuses to duck out of homophobic Sunday school lessons, you, wearing a rainbow pin to girl's camp, you out and proud and still attending, enduring side eye from sisters and comments to "maybe tone it down" from your bishop. You, afraid to bring your partner home, you who's only Mormon on Sundays but can't bear to let your parents down (earthly and heavenly). To you who took the bravest step and left the church and your community, and feel like you'll never find a new one. To you who hears "no way you were a mormon!" but are still unravelling the trauma of purity culture.

I see you.

I love you.

It gets better.

Death Anxiety, or Memento Mori

Is this not all our lives? We spend this moment in the sunlight being afraid, and trying not to be, and trying to make up for the fear when it never leaves. I scramble, try to scratch my name in the Earth before She takes me back. Remember, remember. One day, my name will be spoken for the last time. If I am lucky, it will be by someone who never knew me. ‘Til then, I know what will happen when I die. The ones who loved me will miss me. They will speak my name. Tears will wet their eyes as they do, and some will blink them away like acid rain. I know. Silently they will scream, and rasp against the ache in their throat and the pit in their gut. No matter how ready the dead were to die. No platitudes will dull the scraping of our souls into raw piles of nerves. Nor should it. Remember, remember. Cry. Cry past the ache in your throat. Knees in the dirt; face in the sun and remember. Let your body shake. Let the hurt flow past the scars in your soul. Let it sting. Hold fast to the Earth, lest the grief swallow you whole. Anchored while you weather the storm. And when you emerge, sail on - and ever remember your death.

Luck I by Joy Sullivan

Who's your top comfort character right now?

I've been rewatching the original star wars trilogy, so right now, Luke Skywalker ❤️😍🥰

Like a Darkness

Stitching wounds with words

the pain remains but we smile

and pretend the blood was always there,

.

Singing dirges forged from dogma

my breath is a stranger standing

on the back porch with screen door open

torn between the sunset and the silence

that waits in the shadows in the front room

because the trick is to learn how not to

hear feel hurt dream hope sing want need

the trick is to tell yourself that all of this

was what we wanted from the very start,

.

We live in a derelict wonderland

empty streets abandoned houses

cars rusting next to single wide trailers

boarded up stores the old school crumbling

more people but not here no not here

where rusted barbed wire remembers

but we don't

Ain't it strange?

TV antennas like ancient talismans

that failed their only task which was

to let the world in three channels at a time

and keep us all from losing ourselves

inside of someone else's dreams

in artificial worlds that fade

as soon as nobody watches,

.

Your favorite song is playing forever

a transmission eternally out of reach

turn your eyes up to the stars

they aren't there but aren't they beautiful?

If we're lucky someday somebody

will say the same of us

"One might take the tip of the pencil and magnify it. One reaches the point where a stunning realization strikes home: The pencil tip is not solid; it is composed of atoms which whirl and revolve like a trillion demon planets. What seems solid to us is actually only a loose net held together by gravity. Viewed at their actual size, the distances between these atoms might become league, gulfs, aeons. The atoms themselves are composed of nuclei and revolving protons and electrons. One may step down further to subatomic particles. And then to what? Tachyons? Nothing? Of course not. Everything in the universe denies nothing; to suggest an ending is the one absurdity."

- Stephen King, The Gunslinger

The one picture I got of the eclipse was through clouds

Happy Star Wars Day! I’ve decided to make my Skywalker comic into one easily rebloggable post.