Lystrosaurus
Description: A fucking Lystrosaurus
Inspiration: Get recked meme above
Short notice Letter
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Description: A letter with a very generic phrase asking for forgiveness advising the recipient that who is writing the letter can’t come to work due to the lack of rest. Paladins and Warlock can use this to restore spell slots. The amount of uses is the same as the number of stamps on the back of the letter, after each use one stamp disappear.
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Functionality: A paladin or a warlock licks their thumb (or any other limb if the thumb is unavailable) and put it on one of the stamps, roll a d20
Results:
1 - The stamp disappear and nothing happens
2/5 - Spell slots under lever 2 gets completely restored
6/9 - Spell slots under level 5 gets completely restored
10/14 - All the spell slots gets completely restored
15/19 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, one spell slot under level 3 gets a temporary +1
20 - All the spell slots gets completely restored, all the spell slots under level 3 gets a temporary +2
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Inspiration: the meme above (Thanks @kimabutch)
I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.
What? A non D&D post? Yeah, cause the safety of my non verbal children comes first babeee
Chonky
Description: An enormous cat seemingly made out of clouds, a bit fat because it’s the cat of the Goddess of Hunting and it receives a lot of treats who are just the scrap of the animals that the Goddess hunt. The fact that these animals where actually powerful monster may or may not be why the cat has its strange range of abilities.
Functionality: It’s probably just escaped from the back door that the Goddess left open for a second, try to bring it back or make sure it stays still in the same place so that it’ll be easier for the goddess to find it and bring it back to her house.
Abilities:
Immune to bludgeoning, slashing, poison, lightning, water and necrotic damage
Its body is literally clouds and acts like the spell Fog Cloud, players can end turn inside its enormous body but be warned:
It can cast lighting spells inside of its cloudy body, to attack those inside, or to deal more damage if it then use a charged paw to smash you
It’s weightless and even if it steps on a city, since it’s made out of clouds it won’t destroy it.
Wail (Banshee), Regeneration (Shield Guardian), Limited Telepathy (Otyugh), Hurl Flame (Barbed Devil), Keen Hearing and Smell (Hell Hound), Life Drain (Wight), Cold Breath (Winter Wolf), Lightning Breath (Behir), Animate Trees (Treant)
Inspiration: Cat above @benthesoldiersjeanshorts
(A mini plot, since your players will not follow the main one, that you can use to guide your players to follow the main one)
Poly-wrath
Description: The party antagonised/had a fight with/stole from an NPC, unfortunately for them, that NPC is not a god or the BBEG (those are common things for Adventurers), no that NPC is actually in a polyamorous relationship with A LOT of people, who all treat the NPC like a teddy bear, and when they hear how the players treated their favourite teddy bear, they will be sure to make them regret it.
Functionality: Maybe not all the partners are adventurers/warriors, so the majority of them will not directly attack the players (or maybe the NPC asked them not to and they reluctantly promised). Put them as the tavern’s owner, so the players will either prohibited to enter or would find their stay very uncomfortable (keep it fun tho, it needs to hurt the character not the player); or maybe one of them is a wagon driver and takes the players for a low price ( “A discount for the pretty lady” or “Because you’re a lot I’ll give you a discount” but in this last case be sure to give the players a chance to someone who doesn’t want to give them the discount and to someone who wants, aka the NPC’s partner) but instead of taking them where they wanted they “lost the way” or maybe leaves the party there after having sent camp for the night (maybe also giving the players only a short rest if you make that the Wagon driver offers to do the first round of guarding to “take care of the horses in the meantime”)
Inspiration: this meme of @retrogamingblog2 that my bf sent me ⬇️
Butterfingers
Description: The target loses the grip of all the things they have in their hands for 1 minute, making them constantly fall on the ground.
Functionality: The caster points with both hands at the target, on a Con fail the target will lose the grip on what they were holding. Every time the target tries to hold something, the object will slip from their hands. If the caster doesn’t use Concentration to maintain the spell it will last for a max of 60 secs during which the target will have one possibility to (with a Con ST) hold one object for one turn (6 secs). If the caster uses Concentration to maintain the spell the spell it will last for a max of 10 mins, without the possibility to hold something for even only one turn. While in this condition the target also can’t cast spells that uses somatic components
Inspiration: I dropped some butter and my mum made a horrible pun about it… thanks mum
Description: A magic scroll that can store a spell of the owner’s choice (or can be changed once per king rest) that buffs the spell stored but debuffs all the similar ones that the owner casts (not counting those casted using items).
Functionality: Once per long rest the player chooses a spell to store in the scroll or decide if they’ll change the already stored spell or keep it. The spell stored gains a +(3+X) dices that the player can split into:
Damage roll
To hit roll
Other rolls
The X stands for the types of damage that the spell deals/protect/affects in any way. The addition of the 3+X dices can be done only after having rolled that, example:
Matt rolls to hit (4) so spends one of the (3+1) dices but fail again. Nothing happens anymore.
Liz rolls to hit (22) but still fails so she spends two of her (3+2) dices going up to 36, that hits. She then rolls for damage, doing a total of 25 fire damage and 15 necrotic damage. But since she has still 3 dices and REALLY wants the monster dead, she uses her 3 dices again, more on the fire damage because those are d8 while the necrotic uses d12, rolling 8 and 5 on the additional fire damage and 11 on the necrotic damage killing the beast.
In the next turn (or encounter) the player who has the scroll still has the maximum (3+X) dices, until the spell slots run out, the scroll will work.
BUT
If the stored spell deals fire damage, all the other fire damage-dealing spells (not magic items) will receive disadvantage in the damage rolls
This happens to all the types of damage that the stored spell deals.
That means that Matt’s psychic spell, even if it didn’t landed, and Liz fire/necrotic spell are the only ones that deal a noticeable amount of those types of damage.
If the spell doesn’t deal any damage nor affects any type of damage in particular the spell will be rejected by the scroll.
If the spell heals, it can be used. Use +(1+Z) where Z is the number of targets (you count too, even if it’s only a self spell, so the minimum is +2). But gives disadvantage to all the other healing spells.
Inspiration: the meme above (this is an old draft, I didn’t know yet that links were easier and I’ve already wrote too much to change it) thanks @catchymemes ❤️
Mouseth
Description: A mouse-like creature that randomly appear in the vicinity of the owner (preferably on their shoulder or head) say some random silly shit with a really high pitched voice and then disappears again.
Abilities: The owner has +2 to their wisdom score and a +5 on Animal Handling, that becomes +6 if it is to call the Mouseth to feed it. If the owner forgets to feed the Mouseth for three days straight the Mouseth will never appear again.
The same Mouseth can be owned by multiple people, but each one still has to feed it individually if they want to keep it, otherwise only the character who forgot will lose the ownership of the Mouseth.
A character have only one chance in their lifetime to own a Mouseth, once it leaves them they will never be able to reown one again, unless they use Wish, but they can’t wish for infinte Mouseth but only for a second chance to own one. To gain the ownership of the Mouseth, your character needs to feed it whatever food they have in their inventory if they meet it in the wild, or by saving the life of a random mouse/rat/rodent.
You can lose your ownership (forever) to a Mouseth by:
Trying to kill it while in the wild (pre-owning)
Killing a large amount of innocent mice/rats/rodents, no problem with monsters (pre-owning)
Disrespecting a Ratfolk/Mousefolk and being cursed by them (pre-owning) (they can curse players with the inability to own a Mouseth)
Forgetting to feed their Mouseth after 3 days from the last time (the Mouseth will appear and insult you for a last time)
Disrespecting the Mouseth (they have a very haughty behavior, often stopping after eating just to remember to everyone how cool they are)
Inspiration: this meme ⬇️
Thanks ❤️ @cuntmunism @gauntletqueen @sandboy-advance-sp
Paper Knife
Description: A piece of paper with a drawing of a knife. The piece of paper can’t be burned or destroyed as long as it has charges. Per each charges used, the knife drawn gets more and more covered in blood. Recharges every day.
Functionality: 23/day you can touch the piece of paper and point at an enemy that immediately suffer 1d4 piercing damage, or 1d6 if outside of combat (this action starts combat)
Inspiration: @trilliath’s mom
I was explaining to my mom about how tumblr is excited for the ides of march tomorrow, and celebrating the assassination of a corrupt politician etc. etc. and she goes, "Oh! So what do we wear!"
And I said, "IDK a knife?"
And she said, "Ohh, I don't think I can get away with that at the conference. But I know, I'll draw a picture of a knife and carry it around in my pocket and get a giggle out of it whenever I look in my pocket!"
Anyway my mom's brilliant and I think we should all carry paper knives tomorrow.
Blood Explosion Disease
Description: The character’s veins burst and their skin is torn as blood rushes out of their body at high speed, coating the surroundings with blood. Then the skin reforms back to its normal state. The first part is not a painless process. Neither is the second part. If the next rest of the character will be a long rest, they won’t be able to do anything beside sleeping. If the next rest is scheduled to be a short rest, and the character is forced to continue their journey, they’ll have +2 points of fatigue until the next long rest.
Functionality: 1/long rest. When using this trait the player rolls a d4 to determinate how much blood they’ll lose:
0.5 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 10(with disadvantage their first time, advantage after the fourth) on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+X of damage
1 liter of blood: the character takes 2d12+5 of damage, anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 14, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d6+X of damage
1.5 liter of blood: the character takes 3d12+5 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft, they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -2 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 16, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage
2 liters of blood: the character takes 2d8+1d6 of damage, gets their speed reduced by 5 ft , they can hold their breath for -Y minutes and have a -4 on strength, dexterity, wisdom and charisma checks and saving throws. Anyone who is in the blast radius needs to roll a Dex ST above 18, on a fail they’ll get directly hit by the blood and take 1d12+1d8+X of damage
The AoE is a circle around the player with a 20ft DIAMETER.
X equals the class level of the player using the feat (a level 2Wiz/4Barb will use 4, not 6)
Y equals the lowest stat of the player using the feat -1. If it’s positive it becomes negative: if Cha +1 is the lowest, it becomes -1, then take -1 again, so -2=Y.
Inspiration: the meme above and that one blood post of @yaboywillyshakes (formerly adventuresintimeandspace). Your blood will never be forgotten @yaboywillyshakes
Lucky Hair Bow
Description: an extremely saturated pink hair bow that makes whoever wears it feel prettier. Only a roll higher than 20 on Investigating the Hair Bow will confirm that the Hair Bow is magic, otherwise it looks like a normal Hair Bow.
Functionality: +2 to Charisma score. Every time you have to roll 1 or more d100, you roll 2 more d100s, you can choose the result between the options (you can choose only a number of results equal to the original number of dices to roll).
Example: Astarion rolls 3d100, then rolls 2d100 thanks to his Lucky Hair Bow, the results:
Obtain 25 gp
You lose all your spell slots of level 3 and higher
Obtain 25 gp
In your next encounter you get +3 initiative.
You get teleported into the Plane from where you where born, if you already are there you get teleported into a random level of the Nine Hells
Annie (the player who plays Astarion) obviously chooses to obtain 50 gp and the +3 initiative, so 3 options like the 3d100 she had to roll originally.
The choice will be done by the player, but the character will think of it as a strike of good luck and say that it’s all thanks to their lucky hair bow. It is.
Inspiration: The remix of the song “Lucky” from the “Lucky Twice”, “Lucky (I'm So Lucky Lucky)” …yes the Nightcore remix …yes I’m transfem …yes I’ve got 30 different versions into the same Spotify playlist except the original
she/her 🏳️⚧️ 20Send me random posts and memes and I’ll turn them into D&D homebrewSomehow 99% of my stuff is cat-related
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