I Don't Want To Reveal Too Much About My First Chapter Before It's Officially Finished And Published,

Doof: "You see Perry The Platypus, about a few weeks ago I entered The Tumblr Sexyman Showdown. It's a contest for only the sexiest of men-- now now, Perry the Platypus, before you roll your eyes at me, it's not the conventional kind of sexy, no, no! It's the pathetic, the silly, the unconventional! Only for the acquired tastes. Like me~!! So I joined in, and you wouldn't believe it! I plowed through the competition! Bracket after bracket, I dominated the votes. That is, until the final round... when I was put up against Stanley Pines of someplace called 'Gravity Falls'-- for some reason, even though he claimed to come from a place called Gravity Falls and I come from the Tri-State Area, the competition listed me to come from someplace called 'Phineas and Ferb', and I have no idea where that is or who those people are--I was kicked to the curb! He won by a landslide! Well, not literally though, that's a metaphor--that's how Bill Cipher won against Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, and I KNOW that place doesn't exist--b-but anyway, Stanley won and I only got second. And it doesn't make any sense! Sure, Stanley is similar to what the true Sexyman is, but he's not the greatest! For one thing, he's not that pathetic--jeez, if anyone is the most pathetic here, it's me! He's not that tragic-backstory-able, or anything, he--and worse yet, he's HOT! I mean, he's not that much of an acquired taste! Sure, he's older, but that's it!! Clearly, the people are biased! Which is why I made...THIS!"

Doof: "BEHOLD! THE UNHANDSOME-INATOR!!!!"

Doof: "With this, I can make anyone ugly--so ugly that their ugliness is JUUUST too ugly to be a Tumblr Sexyman! But too handsome to be truly ugly...and I can also tweak it to make myself just a little more handsome, hehe! With this, I will make the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA Sexyman ugly, and shoot myself so I will be the most acquired-taste-handsome out of all of them, winning the love of all of the TRI-STATE AREA, AND ENACTING MY REVENGE AGAINST THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN CONTEST!!!"

Doof: "--Or wait, come to think of it, this isn't really revenge, I mean, the contest's over and it won't come back until next year so this scheme prooobably should've been postponed until then... not to mention this inator isn't exactly that tweaked, it's a rushed job has some...ahaha...side effects...unless I CRANK UP THE RANGE OF THE INATOR!"

Doof: "Yes, Perry The Platypus, I will become the most tumblr-sexyman handsome by proxy in all of the tri-state area AND GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON!!!"

| Meanwhile In Gravity Falls |

*Stan, reading the paper, suddenly looks up.*

Stan: "Something just happened."

*beat*

Stan: "...Eh. Who cares. Worse has happened in this town. It's probably the heebie jeebies from that German guy from a couple days ago, eugh."

Stan: "Worth it for the prize money, though. I'm still the sexiest man on all of Tumblr! Ahaha!"

*beat*

Stan, still grinning: "...whatever that is."

*A beat. Then the door to the Mystery Shack slams open. It's Ford.*

Ford: "Stanley! I'm back!"

Stanley: "Hey, sixer. Back from another one of your little adventures?"

Ford: "I suppose you could call it that! Ever been to the tri-state area? There are hundreds of anomalies there! Did you know that all the platypuses are teal there?"

Stanley: "Yeah, yeah...well, make sure to tell me later. I'm reading the paper."

Ford: "Well, don't get too absorbed. We're going to Italy tomorrow, remember? We're visiting the Vatican! Lots of great things to explore there! We might even see the pope!"

"Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed before you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse — expelled!"

— A teenage Stanford Filbrick Pines, probably

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone".)

(SPOILER WARNING for the endings of Little Nightmares || and the Security Breach: Ruin DLC)

If I had a nickel for every time the protagonist of an indie horror game, after getting into the final boss fight from an attempt to save their best friend, was dropped and betrayed by said friend, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

(Character-based SPOILER WARNING for Sayori from "DDLC" and Sayaka from "Madoka Magica")

If I had a nickel for every time a teenage girl whose name started with a "Say" had short unnaturally colored hair, blue eyes, was childhood friends with the protagonist, fell into depressive state, and was from a Japanese piece of media, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

(I accidentally added the 3rd GIF; please pretend it doesn't exist)

*Upon the Pines family finding out that, somehow, someone stole from the Mystery Shack*

Mabel: "You know, I'm suprised we haven't heard from Grunkle St—"

*She's interrupted by Stanley all of sudden bursting into the room*

Stan: "WE'VE BEEN ROBBED?! Oh, the humanity! Give it to me straight, Sixer. How much did I — uh — we — uh — you lose?"

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "The 87 Cent Solution" of the series "Ducktales (2017)".)

Bill: "So, Frills, just wanted to double check. How do ethical beings feel about murder?"

The Axolotl: "It's frowned upon."

(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Derek" of the series "The Good Place".)

Favorite Color: Lavender (Light purple)

Last Song: Candy Store — Heathers the Musical

Currently Reading: Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse (& multiple fanfics)

Currently Watching: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Currently Craving: Chocolate

Coffee or Tea: Tea

No Pressure Tags:

@majoringinfanfiction @kale-of-the-forbidden-cities @kat-reich-4222000 @aroace-get-out-of-my-face

get to know your moots tag game ! ✶ answer the questions, then tag six people

favorite color ꕀ green and brown last song ꕀ tú by maye currently reading ꕀ the luminaries by susan dennard currently watching ꕀ the great british baking show currently craving ꕀ massaman curry. like always. and like. alcohol and a couple cigs HAHA. a break too :P coffee or tea ꕀ always tea! i don't like coffee

ty for the tag @saltcxrcle ! tagging: @lelapine @toadspondofwhimsy @outof-spite @h0neyst4rz @hhoneylemon @our-lady-of-venom

(All credit for the AU and artwork used go to @fazfuri )

—This is an attempt to get the panels in order. Click on the "#stars falls x my clematis" tag on my tumblr blog to find the finished version I reblogged with the rest of the panels included—

Bill: "My boyfriend is wearing a freaking suit for his autism diagnosis appointment."

Ford: "It's a special event!"

Bill: "Shut up."

I'm exposing all of you.

@majoringinfanfiction @pickledoesthetumbling (Yes, I know you posted this first, but I still agree with the statement and you are one of such friends.)

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them