Curate, connect, and discover
Gf Stanford - Blog Posts
My sincerest apologies for my lack of communication over the past few weeks. I haven’t quite gotten the hang of the “queue” system yet and my free time to post is quite limited.
how come ur here spying on ur ex boyfriend... triangle-friend? is bill even a boy? is anyone asking the real questions here????
Not ex, mind you. I’d say Bill technically counts as a current partner.
His gender identity is just one more confusing detail that he takes joy in refusing to explain. Supposedly there were over 14 million possible gender identities in his old dimension; but this is neither proven true nor false, so whether this is trustworthy information is up to you. I personally have given up on trying to fit him into any boxes. He is simply Bill.
Back to the original question at hand. I’m not exactly “spying” on him so much as I am keeping an eye on him to ensure he’s not spreading information I’d rather keep private or antagonizing others for no good reason. I still browse other content on this site, though.
— Stanford F. Pines
Why would Bill be asking you to call it Bizzaremageddon when he immediately called it Weirdmageddon when it started? ("Welcome one and all to Weirdmageddon!") Does he regret calling it that? Did he not call it that in your universe? Am I overthinking this? Did weirdmageddon have a different start in your universe?? Are the events of weirdmageddon as a whole different??? Am I overthinking this? Probably the last one.
I'm so normal about this.
As per previous posts when prompted (nice alliteration!), neither Weirdmageddon nor Bizzarmageddon have occurred in my dimension. It is in my best interest to ensure they never do. However, as Bill has likely made clear enough, he still intends to invade R34LITY. In that scenario the event will be called Bizzarmageddon.
Av xpt nvgiwgq, Q ascha ai’py wdbv jk hupi gg joiiio mli jstiw wl fhyv qaubraovg. V34PVLG eea g oxezvdg brnuyvih bmbbv uktuveaw beeb cvkow usza xw kulyvr fwqlqtn lytrjvxxcxhe sv bmbpmlk pmw rnlcoet rhpw gnf mkxmx. Oha 46’\ Fvdt’p wchvkhmasbbw ugutkiq lw prmgr brwvvm fw jkfhrh zw.
Are you using tumblr to spy on your ex?? Girl frfr you are out of his league.
📖👓❤️✨
Oh! No worries fellow “Tumblr” user, I use this site to observe the behavior of those within alongside keeping an eye on my “partner” of sorts. No exes are being spied on here. Perhaps there’s another Stanford you mean to accuse?
— Stanford F. Pines
What’s worse, Wierdmageddon or High School?
High School. At least during Weirdmageddon I could ensure the safety of my Earth while staying on the side of safety myself. In High School I’d just end up the target of more antagonistic behavior.
oh wait im in your dni arent i
Eh, I wouldn’t worry too hard about it. That was mostly a joke. I myself am rather involved with the yellow bastard, after all.
— Stanford F. Pines
based on the last ask... what exactly is your relationship with 64'\ bill?
I have debated what exactly to answer this with for roughly 2 hours now, and have simply accepted that there is no true way to explain our relationship.
It’s a very confusing experience. A “situationship” may be a good word for it? I’m genuinely unsure.
— Stanford F. Pines
I just got flash banged by stancest (Do not look it up) and spent way to long trying to figure out how to filter tags, so finding this blog is a genuine relief
I don’t even need to look it up to know how awful that must be. I’m glad that you’ve found what you’re looking for.
— Stanford F. Pines
How you tagged that with the x on that last post is actually how you indicate a romantic pairing. Rip.
Oh. Well, I suppose it’s not entirely inaccurate.
— Stanford F. Pines
how come you know 3 versions of the entity bill cipher? did you also wander through the portal like 46'\ stanford pines or 64'\ cipher told you about it?
Apologies for the wait, I have rather limited time to spend online.
I met 64 Bill the same way 46 Me must’ve met his (leaving out the apostrophe backslash for convenience), our main differences being 64 must’ve had bigger dreams than 46. He chose to send me to an interdimensional meeting place rather than The Nightmare Realm which allowed a much more welcome exploration of dimensions than my alternate selves tend to have.
From there I learned of 46 Bill’s mistakes (mine loves to mock him) and of his younger self. So both, I suppose!
— Stanford F. Pines
You deal with Bill on the daily?
...could you ask him how he gets his mascara to look like that
I have asked on multiple occasions and unfortunately he refuses to share his secrets. Claims it’s “NATURAL BEAUTY, BABY!”. I doubt that.
— Stanford F. Pines
AWWW LOOK AT YOU TRYING TO USE YOUR FANCY LITTLE WEBSITE
TELL SHOOTING STAR I SAID HIII <3
Get out.
I have discovered there is much more content on the internet depicting me and my family than I thought. A concerningly high amount of it including Cipher and me. This is both upsetting and strangely expected.
Greetings!
I am esteemed researcher and “oddoligist” Stanford F. Pines. My niece and nephew, alongside an older friend of theirs, have suggested I create a “blog” on this site. So here I am!
Please forgive me if I make any mistakes or misunderstand the functions of “Tumblr”. I’m still getting used to cellphones as a whole and this rather small screen is difficult to navigate.
Upon further inquiry, my niece explained to me the concept of a “DNI” or “Do Not Interact” list. I will now be creating my own.
Do Not Interact if: You are within the good intentions of 46’\ Bill Cipher, You engage in the creation or spreading of content that puts me or my family into compromising situations, or You engage with or create “shipping” content of me or my family in problematic manners.
I have also been informed of personal “tags” used to identify and label content. Here are my own.
#My research – Implied in title; any online documentation of my research within or outside of published work.
#Personal anecdotes – Occasionally I may share the happenings around me or a particular thought from my past as I’ve heard users of this site tend to do.
#My musings – Similar to anecdotes, however these are loose unconnected thoughts. Hardly tell a story.
#So! Many! Questions! – Any of my responses to the “ask” feature.
These are all I have in mind at the moment, but I will be updating this list as they are created.
Thus is my introduction! Feel free to ask any/all questions you may have about me or my research. Knowledge is power, after all!
Sincerely, Stanford F. Pines.
So, as I've stated in my last post, I've began to write my final draft for the first chapter of my AU's fanfic. However, I added a "(?)" because I figured, knowing myself, there would most likely be a couple of things I would remove to add in. And I was correct. There was a portion I initially liked, but realized seemed so random in the chapter, so I removed it. However, I didn't just want to delete it altogether, so I'm posting it here. Enjoy!
TRIGGER WARNING: Panic Attack
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Out-of-Context)
Cut Content From My Fic:
When he first entered the elevator, he was extremely confident and optimistic about how his first impression would be recieved. Now that his thoughts had been given some time to simmer from the long ride, he couldn't help his worries piling up at the front of his mind. What if he messed up? What if he said something wrong and offended everyone there and he had no genius to blanket his fall, since intellect wasn't vital the acting industry? Or, furthermore, what if it turns out he's not at all the good actor Stan assured him he was and made an utter fool out of himself? He could just picture the headline: "Dr. Ford — Brilliant Scientist Turned Actor Laughingstock."
Oh, Moses, what was he thinking! He had to leave this elevator this instant, one way or another.
His fingers resumed the activity of tapping the shiny, metallic railing attached to and surrounding the glossy walls of the elevator — this time at a much rapid pace than before. (He hadn't even realized he had stopped.)
Tappity-tappity-tap.
His brown eyes scanned through the assortment of buttons, searching for something that would allow him to pause or stop the electrical contraction. It didn't matter what it did as long as it would save him from future humiliation.
Tappity-tappity-tappity-tap!
He couldn't go through with this. Moses, for someone so smart he was so stupid. Why did he ever think this was a good idea?
TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAP!
Why did he decide to go through with this? Why did he decide to go through this? Whydidhedecidetogothroughwiththis? WHYDIDHEDECIDETOGOTHROUGHWITHTHIS?
TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY-TAPPITY—!
...
His entire body was frozen as still as a statue, yet it felt as if he was shaking and moving so much internally.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fun fact about me: For some reason, I have a tendency to write my protagonists having mental breakdowns in the first chapter of my fics (original and fanfiction alike). Usually, it doesn't feel random and fits in quite well, since those first chapters also tend to be very dramatic and impactful on my protagonist's emotional state. Here, it doesn't work. Stan has already assured him he'll do fine. Sure, he still can worry and be anxious about his reception to everyone (I know I would *cough cough* anxiety disorder *cough cough*), but it doesn't feel too in character for Ford, especially at the moment. So, I'm deleting the scene.
—Meet the Cast!—
Part Five: The Friend and Foe
Wilma:
Wilma is an environmental activist who does acting for a side job in order to make the money needed to be able to thrive in stability and fuel her organization "Wilma's Wilderness Protection Services," or "WWPS" for short. One of the most recent roles she took on within the acting industry was "Wendy Corduroy" from the beloved Disney series, "Gravity Falls". She claimed to have been attracted to the chill yet strong-willed nature of the character and said the traits reminded her of herself.
She's made a strong impact on certain aspects of the studio — suggesting the addition of recycling bins and utilization of recycled paper for scripts instead. She's also been seen, from time to time, picking up the litter occasionally covering the surrounding area of the building's outside. She deeply believes in her cause and takes every opportunity to attempt to take better care of the Earth.
"I feel like she has definitely affected all of us — in a good way, I mean. Not that I littered or treated our planet badly, but I never really helped out. I didn't know I could, to be honest. It felt like nothing I could do would make a difference. But, Wilma? She changed that attitude. She taught us little tips here and there, and recommended things we could do to help out if we ever felt like it. Not too much overwhelm us or make us feel like we weren't doing much before — like some people might do — but just enough to be encouraging and remind us that we could. That it was possible and we had a choice; a say in how much humanity affected nature. It's an empowering belief that she brought upon us," Melanie (actor of "Melody") expressed about her fellow actress.
Wilma is closest with Mabel and Alzamirano due to them having similar activities and firm opinions. When hanging out with the younger girl, the conversation usually revolves around their shared care for nature and its wildlife. When she's around Alza, meanwhile, they typically talk about how managing both of their associations is going and how they created them out of the common desire for the world's betterment.
William:
William is THE celebrity actor cast with playing the role of "Bill Cipher" in the show "Gravity Falls". He's one of the big names and is the most famous toon working on set for the series. He's been acting since seemingly forever (since he was ten years old) and is one of the most well known actors out there, period. He didn't have much competition when it came to auditioning for the role — since not too many shape toons exist in the world — and the little he had quickly left after finding out who they were up against.
William has been said to have a flamboyant and flashy personality. He's bold and will do whatever it takes to determine that he stands out from the crowd. He lives for the attention and makes that fact known. As a result, he sometimes comes across as fake, shallow, and even egotistical to people; finding him off-putting. Despite this, he's still extremely popular with public. He's the type of person who you either hate or love full-heartedly with little room for an in-between opinion.
While seemingly unapproachable on the surface, he's more than willing to converse, help, or interact with others — even if they're below him fame-wise. He's capable of being a very down-to-earth triangle who's sensitive and caring. Though, this piece of information is not that well known due to how he acts when near the spotlight. However, that's not the only reason. He has been making a noticable decision to attempt to appear less vulnerable and keep up his persona after the creation of a highly gossiped rumor. In the case you've been living under a rock (I apologize for any accidental offense caused to you, Patrick Star), I'll briefly explain what I'm referring to:
William has been theorized to have been close in some sort of proximity to famous scientist, Dr. Ford (actor of "Stanford Pines").
While I'm legally obligated reiterate that the connection between the duo is pure speculation, I'm more than willing to delve into why this has become a common belief. For starters, upon their first meeting, Ford was stated to have been shocked to realize William was also part of the cast in the way someone is suprised to see someone they know at the local grocery store.
"It was strangest thing I had seen. Mr. Ford was walking around, saying 'hi' to people, and then when he saw Mr. William he just...stopped. Stopped being able to do just about everything. He stopped being able to function properly, stopped knowing how to speak, stopped smiling — you get the gist. Oh! And then there was his eyes. They widened and became distant, as if he seen a ghost. Though, Bill does float like one. But, that's not the point. The point is: It was like he knew him," Deon (actor of "Gideon Gleeful") recited from memory about the two.
Furthermore, while they do seem avoid each other at every possible opportunity, their eyes have been caught to occasionally drift over to the other's. Their expressions changing to one of reminiscence as they (POTENTIALLY! This is theorizing, I don't want to be sued for any of this being mistaken for fact) let their minds wander to the ghosts of their pasts.
Again, none of this should be taken as objective truth. Though there is evidence to support this claim, they haven't confirmed any of the suspicion and instead denied it. Or avoided it like people avoid secrets they don't wish to speak about publicly. Please take all of this with a grain of salt. I was lucky enough to be hired to write these articles for the Disney company, since the show is so popular — I don't want to be sued for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Content:
(Fanfic in the process of being written)
Previous Part:
—Meet the Cast!—
(Part Three: Representatives of the South)
Hadron:
Hadron is a popular country singer known for his genuine, southern charm. His signature instrument is the banjo, which can be heard playing in the background of most of his music. Raised in the South, he developed fond memories of the countryside and decided to share its beauty with the world through his songs. He's been ridiculed by numerous people for his accent, background, and style, but is determined not to allow them to break his spirit. He's proud of where he's from and isn't willing to change that, no matter what the haters may say.
Hadron is the actor of the character "Fiddleford McGucket" and was chosen for the role due to being a southern icon. Through his acting, he gave Fiddleford some country charm that ended up well-received by the audience. It wasn't limited to just on set either, since he would spend time in-between shoots and breaks playing his banjo; filling the room with austral tunes.
"Sometimes, when everything is bor-ing, he'll just grab that...guitar-thing...and play it. Some people will suddenly stop talking just to listen, and soak it in. I... I like it when he plays it. The music is nice, and he's not as lame as people say. Don't make a big deal out of that, though," Patricia (actor of "Pacifica Northwest") noted about the brunette singer.
A side gig he has is teaching students on how to play the banjo after much interest being expressed in the instrument once his songs became popular. Patricia, in particular, decided to join his courses, intrigued by the melodies he made. He is said to be a very calm and patient teacher, though prone to sarcasm and bitterness.
He's been viewed to be closest with Patricia, Stan, and Ford out of the entire cast. The young blonde talks to him often, asking for advice and requesting his opinions on things. She'd never say this, but it's clear that she looks up to him. (Possibly seeing him as a father figure in light of her parent's neglect.) Stan has a tendency to flirt with him and occasionally Hadron will reciprocate the acts, usually leading to the former person turning red (Ford is oblivious to this behavior). Whether this is just friendly banter and play, or something more is left to be seen. He also quickly became friends with Ford, due to their similar introverted natures and nerdiness.
Deon:
Deon was cast with the role of "Gideon Gleeful" for the series. He has a history of acting in several action and historical films, but he usually played a background character in those. Gideon is his first major role and because of that he was eager to give his greatest performance.
"He was always so bubbly! Like, I could just pop him! Haha. But, seriously, he tried really hard to do his best. And I think that deserves a sticker," Mabel energetically insisted when talking about her fellow cast member.
He, too, was raised in the South. However, he ended up moving up North when he was young, since his parents desired to give their son the best opportunities possible and wanted to go where potential was bustling as a result. And they sure did take advantage of the fresh start! When Deon had begun to display both enthusiasm and promise in acting, they were discovered by a talent scout, who offered jobs within the realm. Once Deon was firmly sure this was what he wanted, his acting career took a start.
Deon tends to himself, typically sticking to the corner unless it's his scene, and doesn't socialize much. However, when he does, most of the time it's with Mabel. He finds her optimism and confidence to be infectious (in the best way) and admirable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next Part:
Previous Part:
—Meet the Cast!—
(Part Two: The Stan Twins)
Stan:
Stan has spent the majority of his life as an actor. Ever since he was young, he auditioned for parts in plays; giving him an early start to his career. His lengthy experience has allowed him to perfect the art, becoming a professional of the finest quality. He would have never ended up at this point, however, if not for his passion for performing.
"I'd have to say I love the thrill of it. Always have. Putting on a persona and just fallin' back into the character. I dunno too much about the mental implications — that's more of Ford's thing, ya see: nerd stuff — but maybe the fact that it makes me feel in control of the situation is why. And, yeah, I know that it's 'you' not 'ya,' or whatever. I get enough of that at home from you-know-who," he explained upon questioning.
He was requested specifically to play the role of "Stanley Pines" by the creators, Mickey Mouse and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. They claimed that they thought no one would be able to bring the character to life as well as him. After all, it was a difficult balance of "greedy conman," "grumpy old man," and "secret softie" that had to be done perfectly in order to accurately reflect the vision. A feat they believed only Stan was capable of achieving. Ultimately, they were right: Causing Stanley Pines to become a character loved by the public all because of Stan's acting.
In his free time, he tends to attend casinos for the cause of gambling. He'll walk in with a small amount of cash in his pockets (moderated by Ford to ensure that his twin doesn't accidentally drive himself broke) and come out with bags overflowing with money. He claims to be an extremely lucky person with natural talent and good instincts when it comes to the activity. He has been accused of cheating by many, but his good heart and reputation is enough to challenge and disarm such slander. (Plus, Ford comes to his brother's defense in a way so aggressively protective that some of them back off immediately out of fear.)
Despite his tough outside and gruff voice, he's a kind person who cares a lot about those around him. He's started multiple charities with the money he's won from casinos and gained over the years in an attempt to help those in need. He implores others to step up and do the same, since every donation and act to make the world better makes a difference.
He lives with his twin brother, Ford, and the two of them spend much quality time together. Some people are suprised that they still stay so close at their age, but they just reply that they're like fictional counterparts and wouldn't have it any other way.
Ford:
Ford is a well-established scientist whose scientific endeavors, while usually being a bit more unorthodox, have paved the way for several accomplishments. He strives for the betterment for society and believes that in order to make discoveries, you need to realize and accept the truth surrounding you. Recently, he's also developed some fame for his first ever acting role of playing "Stanford Pines" from the adored series, "Gravity Falls." The story of how he came to receiving that role is one of humorous coincidences.
"It really was just a huge struck of unbelievable luck — though it was because of Stan, so maybe it isn't that out-of-left-field. The beginning of the story, so I was told, was this: Stan was talking to the writers about upcoming episodes and they revealed to him that they were going to green screen him as double for the rest of the series for the long-lost twin brother, Stanford. Stan was asking about the appearance — what does the twin look like, are there any specific details he should know in advance for when it came to dressing for the scene shoot — so then they mentioned, 'Oh! Well, he has polydactyly, so we'll have to find some way to add an extra pair of fingers on.'" Of course, Stan immediately thought of me and told the crew about having a twin brother who just so happened to have six fingers. They were delighted by this information and offered me the role as a result.
"I didn't know what to think at first. Acting wasn't my forte and I didn't have much experience; not to say that I had none, for there were a few times where I covered for Stan when he had to drop-out last minute. Regardless, I still wasn't very skilled in that particular field of expertise. I wasn't that confident in my ability and felt that my acting would only hinder the quality of the show. That should've been the end of it.
"...
"Yet, it wasn't because Stan is nothing but stubborn, and I can't help loving him for it. He sat down next to me and gave me an encouraging talk. He said that I'm much better than I think I am and this would be a chance to prove those words to be true. He then...he then told me that he would love to be able to work with me on set, and that accepting the role would save the CGI crew some time. At that point, I couldn't refuse, so I was welcomed as the actor of 'Stanford Pines'. And I have to say, I don't regret that decision," the scientist reminisced during a behind-the-scenes interview.
Ford is usually quiet unless a topic of his interest is brought up or he's speaking to a person he enjoys conversating with. He's extremely fond of academics and has been found to help the younger actors with any educational assistance they require; whether that be a math problem they don't understand or an in-depth lesson on theme.
Now, this part is purely theorizing, but many people suspect that he has some kind of past relation to popular actor, William (actor of "Bill Cipher"). Despite the two claiming to not be familiar with the other, they seem to avoid each other specifically out of all of the cast members — even on their supposed 'first day' of meeting! William is more subtle, suddenly being reminded of things and gaining convenient excuses to leave the room. Ford, meanwhile, just slips away once the yellow triangle comes near. However, please remember that this is pure suspicion and not anything valid, so do with this information as you please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next Part:
Previous Part:
Bill: "Yo. I've been talking to Ford for a couple of weeks, and I think I'm ready to ask him out."
Fiddleford: "I mean, yeah, that's cool that you wanna go out with him, but I heard that he only likes guys with blonde hair, like—"
*He blinks and all of a sudden Bill is a guy with extremely blonde hair*
Fiddleford: "..."
Fiddleford: "Bro..."
Bill: "I'm — I'm just chilling."
Fiddleford: "Bill, how are you gonna change your entire self...for a guy, bro—"
Bill: "Bro..."
*Bill taps the southern man on the shoulder and points into the distance where Stan is walking up next to Ford*
Bill: "He has a twin...brother."
*Fiddleford now has hair so blonde and bright that it's capable of blinding the eyes of passerby*
...
Fiddleford: "See, that's a different story."
Bill: "That's what I'm trying to say!"
—Presenting "Actor Falls" AU—
So, as far as I am aware, no one has done an actor AU solely for Gravity Falls. Orxinus and Fazfuri do have a collab actor AU, however it's based off of their AU's exclusively and not the show itself. So, I decided to become the (maybe) first one to create one for Gravity falls.
General Gist:
My AU "Actor Falls" is set within a "Who Framed Roger Rabbit"/"Once Upon a Studio" type universe where humans and toons act together to create cartoons and fictional entertainment. Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Fiddleford, Ford and the rest of the human cast of Gravity Falls are, well, humans. Bill, the henchmaniacs, and all of the other supernatural creatures, meanwhile, are toons — cartoon characters who exist as real people in the world. They are all employed by the company Disney to work on the series.
Stanley and Stanford are biological, identical twins (just like how they are in the series), while Dipper and Mabel aren't actually related. They didn't know each before being cast with their roles, but quickly developed a close bond as if they were genuinely siblings. Bill and the Axolotl also don't have powers of any sort; the amphibian isn't truly a god, and two-dimensional triangle isn't a dream demon.
Background Information:
In order to avoid weirdness, I'm not going to include any of the people who genuinely worked on the show in my AU. Instead, GF was written by Mickey Mouse and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. They decided to project the evolution of their brotherly bond and relationship into the story — Mickey unintentionally ruining Oswald's chance for success, causing an accident that destroyed his brother's life, Oswald resenting him for decades, and the two of them coming together in order to defeat a threat larger than life. Everything that happened in "Epic Mickey" actually occurred, and Mickey had the game created out of the events in order to restore Oswald's heart by reintroducing him to the public. They won't be the focus of the AU, but they're still part of it as the writers of Gravity Falls in-universe.
In-Depth Details:
Originally, they were just going to have Stan act as a double for the mysterious other twin in the story and green-screen an extra pair of fingers on. That was until Stan told them that – conveniently — he had a twin with polydactyly. He discussed the idea of becoming an actor for the series to Ford and he was hesitant about it at first, unsure of how well of one he would be. However, with some encouragement from his brother and reminders that his acceptance would benefit everyone, Ford ultimately ended up agreeing to the role.
Unfortunately, once he started working he found out that Bill also happened to be an actor for the series. They're canonly exes in this AU. They used to date in secret because of the strong public hate towards human/toon relationships. But, in the end, the lingering guilt of doing something so 'wrong' caused them to break up. They still long for the other, but will never openly admit it. Not yet, at least.
The two of them have a mutual, silent agreement to keep their romantic past hidden, in fear of wrecking their reputations. Bill is better at masking his disdain and remaining love, since he's a professional actor, but Ford struggles, being the newbie. This ends up causing rumors and gossip about the two of them currently dating. This certainly isn't helped by their dymanic in the show and how they seem to put extra emotion into certain scenes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Content:
The Axolotl: "Now, there'll be no more interruptions, distractions, or side plots. Bill Cipher, is there anything further you'd like to say to the Court?"
*A piano, which was notably not there beforehand, is present with Bill sitting on its bench. He flexes his fingers before drifting them towards the white-and-black keys, playing the opening notes of a tune. He then turns to face the great amphibian expectantly*
The Axolotl: "Not in the form of a song."
*Bill's eye twitches in annoyance for a moment and he closes it to gain composure before opening it back up*
Bill: "I'm innocent."
The Axolotl: "Very well."
*They move to face the jury, opening their mouth for a second to speak before being immediately interrupted by a certain triangle continuing his statement while playing a melody on the piano*
Bill: "I'm so incredibly innocent that the word 'innocent ' should be written on my face. The 'i' would stand for 'I'm innocent.' The 'n' would stand for 'nothing wrong,' which is what I've done. The 'a' would stand for—"
Ford: "That's not how you spell 'innocent.'"
Bill: "I'm sure spelling doesn't count."
The Axolotl: "Spelling counts."
*Bill's eye scrunches in annoyance at the frilled god and he does his best to side-eye them with his singular eye before placing focus back on his piano*
Bill: "Well, then 'innocent' should be spelled 'B-I-L-L' because that is how I plead!"
*The keys got louder with the pronunciation of each letter and he finished off with a selection of sweet notes, nodding in showmanship*
(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Penultimate Peril: Part 2" of the show "A Series of Unfortunate Events".)
*Ford and Stan open the door to the Mystery Shack and step outside, exiting it*
Ford: "Now, all that stands between us and enjoying ourselves is—"
Bill: "YOUR OL' PAL AND OVERLORD, BILL CIPHER! MUAHAHAHA!"
*Ford flinches back as Bill shoves his face into his personal space, one hand of his grasping a flashlight which he flickers on-and-off as the other one waves up and down; gesturing madly*
Bill: "Zzzz—eerrk! Lightning! HAHAHA! "
*The flashlight then flickers off...permanently...leaving Bill to shake it furiously. The Axolotl walks up from behind him, wearing a white lab coat*
The Axolotl: "I cut his dramatic-entrance budget."
(Incorrect Quote sourced from the episode "Raiders of the Doomsday Vault!" of the series "Ducktales (2017)".)
A Game of Pretend
Prologue
Ford was a fraud of a muse that wanted to use him to accomplish...whatever corrupt plans he had. Bill was aware of this from the start in an instinctual way he couldn't quite place his finger on. The routine felt familiar to him, as if it was something he was destined to experience, and yet so distant at the same time. Like he had only been left with a phantom whisp of a trace to go off and use in picking up the pieces. Off.
Not that he'd never met some scheming, manipulative puppeteer who attempted (emphasis on attempt; he was no easy target) to trick and exploit him before— No, Bill was well equipped with the type and how to handle them. It was just that this time felt... different.
...
He wasn't sure what to think about that.
...
So, he wouldn't.
Ford claimed to be a benevolent god bestowing wisdom upon those living their lives in ignorance. Clearing the fog that blinded their eyes and enlightening them with knowledge previously beyond their comprehension. A muse.
What he wouldn't say was that he was liar who was barely managing to hide his ulterior motives with every breath he took. Bill didn't care nearly enough to tell the guy, though. He'd let him have his fun as long the egomaniac got the memo that the painter wasn't interested in whatever con he was selling and left to go pester the next potential puppet. After all, he was a busy guy! He had perspectives to shatter with his breathtaking — totally original — art; stars to gaze at; etcetera, etcetera. You get the idea.
As he had previously stated (and was proud to declare), he knew how to deal with scumbags like these: Beings striving to play the long game to reel you in to a false sense of security where all they have to do to pull the strings is a simple lift of a finger, and — BAM! — they have someone, either entirely out of their will or out of pressure, capable of doing their bidding.
It never got to that part for Bill, though. He wasn't one to brag (he very much was so, depending on who he was talking to), but he had a natural talent for spotting out shapes — and more — like them. He stopped them before they even had the chance to play their games. He learned the best tip was to ignore them. It usually took a while, sure, since they were persistent to get their way, but as long as you were as well, they would give up.
So, that was what he had decided to do with the confusing higher being. Any attempts at conversation from his behalf would be met with utter silence from the Euclidean triangle, whom acted like he couldn't see him. That's how most of their interactions were...in the beginning.
Hey! A shape could only be so patient before something — or someone — got on their nerves! So, eventually, Bill snapped. He started yelling at the six-fingered person, cursing him out. This only seemed to amuse the supposedly 'superior' being, though, which got on the painter's nerves more. He acted oh so better and greater, all because he could float and do...er...other things Bill couldn't remember at the moment.
In the end, he caved in to the god's desires, deciding that his irritating efforts would diminish if the triangle played along ever the slightest bit.
They began to hold genuine conversations where they learned about one another. Ford began to seem less like some far-away, untouchable being who was created into existence just to annoy him, and more like an actual person with feelings and thoughts. Who knew! And — here's the real kicker — Bill was starting to like him.
Behind that arrogant, all-powerful persona was someone who listened to him, emphasizing, understanding. He truly was intelligent and shared ideas that the painter would have never considered on his own. They taught each other things, and instantly developed a kind of chemistry and dymanic that only that one person can create with you. He was funny, charming, charismatic...
...
But, still manipulative. Still trying to rope Bill into becoming some kind of puppet he could utilize for whatever plots he has in mind. He hadn't forgotten that, nor did Ford get any better at masking it.
He knew that he should cut him off, stop things now before they began to spiral into something worse he couldn't return from. But, he was hesitant to because Ford was the only other person capable of understanding him. Because Ford filled that gaping ache of missing companship. Because he was so starved for any other kind of connection he could have after a childhood of being alone, outcasted by his society for being different. Because Ford was the only other person who was just as much of a freak as him. Because Ford could not only tolerate his weirdness, but even like it. Because Ford was the only other person who knew what was like to see the stars...
...
He didn't want to lose that. Didn't want to lose his muse who showed him wonderful things he never dreamed of seeing before. Didn't want to lose his love.
And, besides, he was curious to find out what Ford's plans were and his curiosity was one that was rarely left unfulfilled.
So, for the first time ever, Bill would entertain this manipulator. Allow himself to go along with whatever ulterior motives he has planned. Engage himself in a game of pretend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The "Euclydia Rises" AU was created by @orxinus . Thank you for reading! 💖
Next Chapter:
(Currently being worked on)
Bill: "My boyfriend is wearing a freaking suit for his autism diagnosis appointment."
Ford: "It's a special event!"
Bill: "Shut up."
(Credit for the amazing artwork and AU goes to @fazfuri )
(All credit for the AU and artwork used go to @fazfuri )
—This is an attempt to get the panels in order—
(All credit for the AU and artwork used go to @fazfuri )
—This is an attempt to get the panels in order. Click on the "#stars falls x my clematis" tag on my tumblr blog to find the finished version I reblogged with the rest of the panels included—
Mr. Ford Pines: "Do you believe in god?"
Deity Bill: "No! Stop talking."
Mr. Ford: "Once upon a time, mankind believed in god and had religion."
Deity: *sighs*
Mr. Ford: "They believed that things that cannot be solved by human strength are the will of god; believed that the entire universe revolved around the Earth; thought that the place that connected with the sky, which they could not dare to reach, was the place where the gods lived."
Deity: "That's just ridiculous."
Mr. Ford: "From the moment humanity left the universe, we all forgot god."
...
Mr. Ford: "But if belief in god is human. If all I can do as a human is to believe–"
Deity: "Why are you staring at me? "
Mr. Ford: "My god..."
Deity: "Hey — hey! Wait! "
Mr. Ford: "...My universe."
Deity: "Ah, go away! Ahhhh! "
("Star Falls" AU and artwork featured are created by @fazfuri )
(Incorrect Quote sourced from the Alien Stage Ivan & Till cover of the song "My Clematis".)
!!Check out my reblogged post of the one I made that came after this one, if you want to see the full panels in order!!