Latest Posts by sassycostumegirl - Page 6

Hey. Don’t fucking use Shutterstock.

So. I’m in deep shit because Shutterstock has no cancel plan button. Let me explain. Long story short, tried a free trial and tried to cancel after the free month was over. I called, they helped me cancel my account.

And then I got charged. Again.

So I call again. I think it gets cancelled again.

And then I get charged again. And I call again, get it cancelled. Repeat.

Keep in mind, I’m a fucking college student. I don’t have much money to begin with. At all. My only money is for testosterone, groceries, and emergencies, and OCCASIONALLY one nice thing every like. 3 or 4 months.

So I email them, after continuously trying to get ahold of them for 8. Months.

And I get this.

Read that closer, folks.

They’re charging me for the months worth of trying to cancel, thinking it was fine, and then trying to cancel again, only to be lied to.

Don’t use this shit. I thought I was getting a free trials and then was gonna cancel, and instead I’ve had money charged every 3 months, and then told I have to pay 160 dollars for the shit I already paid for.

I know this ain’t yelp but like. Fuck this bullshit.

"if you have learned anything about me..."

My guy... you do not shut up, I can't not learn about you although it is all against my will

Putting an opera singer, a beyoncé wanna-be, and a musical theater kid in the same singing group and expecting them to sound good is not a good idea

just a pro tip

I know too much about Christian lore to enjoy this play about the nativity story

Mary didn't get pregnant by the "holy spirit" God was very much a physical part of that conception

I love making vaguely threatening eye contact with the lady with the screaming child and absolutely nothing happening

I really need to stop applying for jobs I have no intention of taking

My mother loves to imply things she knows nothing about: "of course it will be super easy to pick the flute back up for this song! It doesn't matter that it's been 14 years since you last played! This part is just so gorgeous the notes would come back to you!"

Nevermind that shes tried to learn the flute multiple times and still can't manage to get a sound out

I forgot my rings today and I think I'm having an identity crisis

Quotes from my friend: I smell like ketchup and there's not even ketchup on my burger ...just on me :(

it's literally my job to be the last one behind the performers as we walk to and from the stage so no one gets pulled out of line and there's this one guy that always politely holds the doors open for me and everyday I have to hold the door and motion for him to keep walking

it's been a month why is he still doing this? it's gotta be malicious at this point right?

There are three actresses in my show who switch off playing the same character and they all have their own costume. One of the girls cannot grasp the concept of grabbing HER costume and not one of the others. Today I was standing right next to her and having a conversation with her when she realized that she had grabbed the wrong slippers (yet again). And instead of switching shoes, like a normal human would do, she proceeded to put HER OWN slippers into the bag of the OTHER GIRL.

I literally had to put my hand up to stop her and say "I need you to wear your own shoes." Then this bitch had the audacity to act surprised when I showed her that the shoes were, in fact, labeled with her name

So when I'm backstage for the show I'm working on, there's this stage hand that always stands in peripheral as I refuse to look at him and stubbornly stare at the floor, hoping against hope that he'll get the hint and go away

but no, if I don't acknowledge him for long enough he'll just put up a fist and I have to give him a fist bump like I wasn't just blatantly ignoring him

It's always so funny when an irl tries to show me a Tumblr post that someone obviously took a screenshot of and put on Facebook.

Bestie.... I'm chronically online, I've seen that post so many times already, I've reblogged it on the og site, I promise you there is nothing you could possibly show me that I haven't seen already

Throw back to the time that one of my performers wanted their three year old niece to sit in the dressing room by herself while we did a 30-minute show.

She had a pacifier! Of course she cannot be left alone!

Tell me why, when I introduced my family to discord (because time limits on zoom are dumb), they decided that's apparently the only way that I can be contacted from now on

Did text messaging and phone calls suddenly disappear from existence and I didn't notice

I love walking 'slightly' away from the wall so that these former frat-bro business dudes have to move out of the way otherwise they run into me.

And they seem awfully afraid to run into me: a five-foot-three girl, wearing all black, with waist length neon green hair

I love showing people a picture of my cat for the first time and they go "aww" and then I say "her name is Pigeon" and they go "aww her name is PIGEON" bc this knowledge has made her cuter

There's this 20-something guy that I work with that exclusively refers to his girlfriend as 'my girl' or 'my lady' and it's genuinely really cute and I'm just amazed that he manages to make it not creepy.

After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

My mother, completely unprompted and knowing my stance on never having children: children bring much joy too...

Me: wtf

What is everybody's random thing that brings back slightly traumatizing memories?

Mine is when a group of people is eating (potluck style) and they're all crowded around the serving table. My mind always screams that we can't start dishing up until we say a prayer.

Shout out to Mormonism to fucking up a normal celebratory thing for the rest of my life!

Me finding an unlabeled document saved on my personal computer that only I use: who could have written such a beautiful story?

You are allowed to like your own writing. You wrote it, it's tailored to yourself, you should enjoy it. You took plain words and put them in a beautiful order to create an awesome story. Beat that imposter syndrome and be proud.

I’m going to say it. The (word in parentheses) meme is way better for tone indication than tone indicators

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

Starving to death this morning because ive been to the new local cafe twice this week already and if i go a third time ill look desperate.

the first sentient robot to realize deceased humans and animals can’t be repaired or backed up on a server is gonna be so devastated

Everyone please read Gilded by Marissa Meyer immediately

I want to have a discussion with someone

This might say a little too much about me but I'm not gonna dwell on it

the personification of death being portrayed as deeply kind in fiction is something that reduces me to tears every single time