I Miss Being Skinny

“And all I loved, I loved alone.”

— Edgar Allan Poe

I want Miki and Grace Neutral to give my my first couple tattoos.

Miki Kim

Felt✨

i feel like i self-sabotage losing weight because i’m scared once i get to my goal weight nothing will change

Felt✨

I genuinely don’t know how to go to people for help or support when I am upset or depressed or going through whatever. I don’t want to bother them but when I’m visibly upset and depressed and openly stating that I think I’d be better off dead, ignoring those changes should not be an option especially when it’s something that serious. I guess it doesn’t matter because I “got over” what I imagined was the “worst of it” for now and not one of my closest friends asked me if I needed to talk. I had 2 people reach out to me. One I haven’t spoken to in years and the other has backstabbed me more times than I can count and yet these were the people reaching out to see if I was okay, telling me they were worried and that they’re proud of me. They reached out but my friend who’ve I’ve been there for again and again to listen and try to give advice and support and love, there wasn’t a word about it. I don’t want to hold it against her because she’s dealing with a lot right now but for my close friends i could not imagine holding my own problems above theirs. Maybe I’ve conditioned them unconsciously to not ask because I’ll be fine if you give me a week. I just want someone I trust to listen and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay and tell me good things.

workout i like to do🥵🥵🥵

Honestly, I’m at my best when my ed is at it’s worst. My room is clean, I dress nice, I wash my face more, I whiten my teeth, I wear makeup, I do my hair. For some reason the only thing that pulls my out of my depression spiral is my ed and the only thing that pulls me out of my ed is my depression. Idk if anyone else feels like that? Idk I just always feel better when I’m losing weight and excersizing and not eating. Idk maybe it’s my body thinks I’m finally being healthy? But I’m not? So… idk, it’s just really weird.

Before Sunrise, 1995

Meaningful words in different languages you should know about !

Vernorexia : a romantic mood inspired by spring.

Micawber : an eternal optimist.

Lucid : Full of fun and high spirits.

Hoppipolla : Jumping into puddles( in incelandic).

Basorexia : the overwhelming desire to kiss.

Logophile : a lover of words.

Eunoia : beautiful thinking , a well mind.

Catharsis : the purging or release of emotional tensions through art and music.

Nakama : a very good friend or comrade that one considers as family, even if they’re not necessarily related.

Natsukashii : suddenly euphorically nostalgic, triggered by experiencing something for the first time in years.

Sweven : a vision seen in sleep , a dream.

Orphic : mysterious and entracing beyond ordinary understanding.

Lucent : Softly bright or radiant.

Dysania : the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning.