Me: Constantly Updating Ox's Weibo Page Since Friday

jian yi: gay panic

zhan zheng xi: hidden gay panic

he tian: protective mode

mo guan shan: self-concious, but loved

imagine what would happen to he tian if she li had actually killed guan shan then...

he tian: i wanna fuck you.

mo guan shan: you're already fucking my brains out every day.

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

we all know that little mo has a praise kink, right?? he tian knows for sure, because apparently he also has a kink on mo's praise kink.

university professor: he tian, why are you so late?

he tian: i'm sorry, professor, my cat fell asleep on my lap, and i didn't want to wake him up.

the cat:

He Tian would buy kitchen fornitures based on how Mo would look like bent on them. Like even the height of the table, the material, the roughness of it's shape. I feel like it would be the only help he could give to house shopping. Mo's having a tough time getting railed on a too high counter? He must change that. Mo's getting stung and scratches on the top of his tighs because of the sharpness of that table? He must throw that away and buy a soft edged one. It will be like that sometimes. (I hope it's understandable, English's not my first XO)

he tian when mo comes into view: i'm dead. i think i'm dead! oh! time's going by really, really, really slow and my heart's beating backwards!

zhan zheng xi: ...

zhan zheng xi: what makes you think your heart's beating backwards?

he tian: well, normally it goes “goop boop” and and now it's going “boop gooooop, boop goooooooooooop”!

jian yi: xixi! he's really dying!!

zhan zheng xi: *disappointed silence*

jian yi: someone's trying to kill me, it could be anyone!

zhan zheng xi, concerned: do you have any suspects?

jian yi: no, it could be anyone!

zhan zheng xi: i mean not necessarily, it’d just have to be someone you pissed off.

mo guan shan & he tian: no, no, jian is right, it could be anyone.

he tian: do you have two tongues in your mouth? mo guan shan: no. he tian: do you want to?