I Think Oldxian Is Planning To Rip Out Our Hearts And Make Us Howl In Pain On Christmas Eve. We Have

i don't wanna be with him, i wanna be like him.

mo guan shan: *struggling to open a jar of pickles*

he tian: do you need help with that?

mo guan shan: *smashes a jar on the floor and takes out a pickle from a pile of shards*

mo guan shan: no.

i understand your anticipation, but I'm almost sure that in the next chapter they won't pierce mo guan shan's ear because they don't have an earring. they could have gone to the store, but redhead's in such a terrible state right now... he tian simply won't let him go.

*he tian and mo guan shan snuglled up in bed*

he tian: *beams*

mo: what are you smiling at?

he tian: imagine, i wake up, and my husband turns out to be a man from my dreams!

mo guan shan, chuckling: you're disgusting. *kisses he tian*

operator: 911 what's your emergency?

jian yi: hey man, yeah, see i'm cooking something here. i was wondering how much trouble you could get in for uh, meth.

operator: and you called the police to ask how. illegal the meth is?

jian yi: well yeah, i figured if anyone would know, it'd be you guys?

operator: *types on keyboard*

operator: is that jian yi of *address*

jian yi: no, uh... jian yi is not here right now can i take a message?

operator: the police are on their way, jian yi.

jian yi: aw, shit, nuts, i mean, yeah that's fine, cause nothing's wrong here, exept me cooking some meth, aw double nuts i sad it again.

operator: see you soon, jian yi.

jian yi: alright, it was great talking to you.

operator: it was great talking to you too.

there are 2 types of couples:

He Tian would buy kitchen fornitures based on how Mo would look like bent on them. Like even the height of the table, the material, the roughness of it's shape. I feel like it would be the only help he could give to house shopping. Mo's having a tough time getting railed on a too high counter? He must change that. Mo's getting stung and scratches on the top of his tighs because of the sharpness of that table? He must throw that away and buy a soft edged one. It will be like that sometimes. (I hope it's understandable, English's not my first XO)

*texting*

zhan zheng xi: you're cute.

jian yi: aww tysm

zhan zheng xi: i don't have autism.

mo guan shan: i've no idea how it happened, but he tian and i know each other so well that we finish-

he tian: each other's sentences.

mo guan shan: don't interrupt me.

mgs in the bathroom, furiously whispering: what're you doing, you idiot?!

*muffled sounds*

ht: what's wrong? i really need to kiss you.

mgs: my MUM is 10 meters away! she'll hear EVERYTHI-

*long 5 minutes of agressive kissing*

mgs: i hate you. you're the worst.

ht: i love you too, momo.

mrs mo in the kitchen: am i a joke to you?