He/Him, Transmasc Dyke, 19yo A personal blog of mine to document my journey on testosterone, plus other shenanigans:))
217 posts
Latest Posts by seanheexsists - Page 7
URGENT!!!!
@save-hasan needs our help! Hassan and his family have been forced to flee their home in Gaza countless times due to bombings and attacks from the IOF, and they are now living in a makeshift tent in Rafah. Hassan is extremely sick and cannot walk; he needs medical treatment now! They need about $100 per day to pay for hospital treatment, and the surgery costs $5,000. He needs this surgery in a week, but their campaign is only at £280, and they've received no new donations in the last 24 hours! Please, please donate whatever you can to help Hassan get this operation. If you cannot donate, share their campaign as much as possible and make your own posts about their story!
A Reflective Poem on Mamá Filled with What I Wish I Could Say
TW: Grafic Topics
Growing up is so weird because what do you mean my mother is a bio essentialist.
Granted I should’ve seen that coming with the Wicca stuff and the “divine feminine” and the needing to know all my friend’s bio genders and blatant misogyny to other women but like, I’m trans. She named me Sean because it’s my dead uncle’s middle name. She helped me learn how to dress masculinely. Why is it now I’m getting told to “ditch the facial hair” and that I “shouldn’t start testosterone now” and I “should tone down the eyeliner”.
Mamá you filled my head with stories of you being goth in the 90s and showed me the metal cds you got then. Why can’t I do that? Why do you have to look and me and see nothing but a mess of emotions? Will it still be that way when my voice drops? When my facial hair grows in? When my name is changed? How “inate” are these traits you’ve put on me? And why do you keep them there? You don’t even know who I am and you act like you know everything. You don’t.
Growing up is weird bc what do you mean my mom is a narcissist?
Everyone said my dad was one, and they were right, because I ended up being one too. The all-importance, the thinking you can do no wrong, that masculine snark that everyone takes as confidence, I thought it was his, and it is his, it’s mine. It’s the one connection I still have with my dad, my window of understanding of who he is and was, and why he made those decisions at my age. Why I’m never going to be like him
But Mamá what you have is worse. Your narcissism says you can never be wrong. That I in my 19 years of life can never know as much as you do. But if I told you of the clubs and the drugs and the queers I love and the friendships that I hold dearest to my heart you’d never trust me ever again. The shame you carry with you is harder than any shoe thrown in a frightening joke. Mamá I know you lie about my dead uncle. And I know it’s not on purpose, he was absolutely like me. He partied so hard and loved so feverishly that you didn’t know the full extent until he died. He had to die for you to know him. I know he hid from you the way I hide from you, out of self preservation because your way is the all knowing, the divine, and god forbid you learn the nuance of life
Growing up is weird because what do you mean my mom is bisexual
She told me about it when I was 12 and came out to her. She was the first person to explain trans people to me. Maybe that’s why she hates me being trans, I don’t do it in her definition. I was too young, I was too feminine, and even now the heels and the skirts and the wigs and the endless eyeshadow pallets are a testament to how I’m not the “right kind” of trans. Does she know it’s not because I’m secretly going to “switch back” to being a girl. Does she know that I do drag. Does she know about my three drag dads. Does she know about the trans women I cry to when she says I don’t have my life together. Does she know why.
Mamá I will never tell you why. I will never tell you about being groomed and trafficked and drugged with a fake prescription and doing all the house work for a woman I was terrified of. You met that woman. I said she was my roommate. But even if you knew the truth you wouldn’t have helped me. You would’ve shamed me. That’s all you ever do, that’s all you’re ever filled with, and no matter what happens to me it’s all you have to offer now. The shame for my clothes for my hair for my body if you ever saw it for the parts of me you can’t see and never ever will
Growing up is strange
Because what do you mean my mom is abusive too
She was never supposed to be that
Mamá do you know that I want to die?
this pride, i learnt about the Palestinian trans woman Oscar Al-Halabiye, dancer and resistance fighter against the israeli occupation in Southern Lebanon. she named herself Oscar after Lady Oscar from the "The Rose of Versailles", a Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Riyoko Ikeda.
her story is documented in Cinema Fouad(1993). zionists use pink washing to reinforce their genocidal terrorist narrative when queer Palestinians have been fighting against the occupation since the very beginning. you can watch it here with english subtitles. long live the intifada!
a whole bunch of gazan mutual aid projects and nonprofits. if the decision of which individual fundraiser to give to feels too daunting, or if you just want to help as many people as possible in one go, these are great initiatives to support.
care for gaza - focuses on providing food and essential supplies. donate here or here.
connecting humanity - securing internet access via donations of virtual sim cards (esims). if you can't afford a whole plan yourself, crips for esims is a communal pool that will use your donation to purchase and maintain esims
gaza soup kitchen - provides food, medical care, and classes for children. also has a gofundme
glia gaza medical support initiative - provides medical care through field clinics and tents at hospitals. donations can also be sent through their website.
ele elna elak - provides clean water, food, clothing, and shelter. they also have a gofundme
life for gaza - raising money for the gaza municipality to repair water and waste management infrastructure
taawon - partners with local civil organizations to provide food, water, medical care, shelter, and basic supplies
the sameer project - running various initiatives providing tents, medical care, and necessities. they have their own encampment project focused on sheltering families with children, sick and disabled members, or members in need of perinatal care
islamic relief worldwide's gaza emergency appeal - provides food, water, hygiene kits, medical supplies, and psychological support
baitulmaal - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, shelter, and medical supplies
gaza mutual aid fund - distributes food, hygiene products, water, and other essential supplies, including financial support. run by @/el-shab-hussein's amazing friend Mona. updates can be found on her instagram.
hygiene kits for gaza - provides hygiene supplies including menstrual products, wipes, and toothbrushes/toothpaste
anera - provides a variety of necessities, including food, water, hygiene supplies, medicine, blankets and mattresses, and psychological care
palestine children's relief fund - provides supplies and support with a focus on children. also has an initiative for lebanon
dahnoun mutual aid - provides water, food, tents, baby supplies, financial support, and other necessities. updates can be found through their instagram
certainly this is not an exhaustive list, so please feel free to add on other projects or organizations that i didn't include. and as always, please take the time to donate if you can and share. it truly makes all the difference.
Sometimes, you post on tumblr.com saying that women’s evils are not “better” evils just bc they’re women, thinking that most people will agree because obviously, if a person does a Bad Thing, it is a Bad Thing, regardless of gender. You go along with the assumption that most people have the critical thinking to know that “yes, gender does not negate horrible things people do” and you think maybe these people will scroll along or leave a little heart and go about their merry ways.
Unfortunately, you did not expect to accidentally summon every terf in a 50 mile radius who can’t decide if you’re a typical icky man or self-hating woman, and they all proceed to say “nuh uh all the cool girls are committing property damage and assaulting people” (deadass a thing I was told).
So for all those terfs who were in my reposts and anyone else who might be here, let me clarify:
The phrase “I’m just a girl” is infantilizing. It plays into the idea that women are helpless and have no agency to their choices. It opens the doors for passive misogyny and perpetuates the idea of a “weak woman”
And I stand by what I originally said, if you’re a grown ass woman who assaults someone, damages property, steals, blackmails, abuses, or dare I say murders someone, YOU!! DID!! A BAD!!! THING!!!
THE BAD THINGS YOU DO ARE NOT LESS BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN!!!!
And PS, I am an icky icky man >;P
hello y'all, i know right now in the west where most of the tumblr userbase is it's christmas time: the season of giving, where people acrossthe world are buying many presents for their beloveds and decorations as well like christmas trees and lights in preparation for festivities. yet meanwhile, in the birthplace of christ himself, the man that this holiday celebrates, the palestinian people are suffering calamity and tragedy beyond anything any of us can comprehend. around the day people come to celebrate a mother's birth of a very special child, thousands of actual mothers and their children are experiencing the horrors of war.
one such mother and child is suad ahmed and her child khaled. khaled was born during the midst of this war, and as a result cannot grow in the safety and health a child deserves. he's currently very ill with a respiratory illness and his body, not even fully developed yet, fights so hard to live. i cannot imagine fighting for survival before even being a year old..
the best, most meaningful gift you can give to anyone this christmas, is support for the mother and child under war. this campaign is literally their lifeline, as all proceeds go to necessities like tents, clothing, food and water and baby formula. so please give what you can and share.
$41,002/$42,000
let's help her get to her short term goal!
Prosecutors argued that Mangione was carrying about $10,000 in cash and that his bag was a Faraday bag that blocks cellphone signals—all proof that he was a sophisticated criminal who should be held without bail. “‘I’d like to correct two things,’” Mangione said after the prosecutor finished speaking, according to CNN’s Danny Freeman, “‘I don’t know where any of that money came from—I’m not sure if it was planted. And also, that bag was waterproof, so I don’t know about criminal sophistication.’”
the edit itself
this edit is getting taken down from tiktok every time someone reuploads it, its straight up censorship at this point
Im not even american but im having a great time with this
DONT LET THIS DIE
credit to miraculousgastropod for the original
full thread
how to disarm Boston Dynamics drone dog
btw the palestinian children’s relief fund is currently running a fundraiser & is more than halfway to their goal of $10,000 !
here’s a link for anyone who is willing & able to donate, please share so it can reach more people, especially as the weather grows colder & these children are desperately lacking resources.
(at $5,314 / $10,000 as of December 1)
FALASTIN NEEDS YOUR HELP!
Hello everyone, Falastin has asked me to make a post for her.
Falastin has been trying to raise funds for her 26 family members for over 6 months but hasn't been able to reach her goal. Her family is trapped in Gaza, one of them has been injured by shrapnel from an explosion. These are people who are desperate for just a little bit of relief.
FALASTIN IS VETTED BY 90-GHOST, El-SHAB-HUSSEIN (#282), AND THE BUTTERFLY PROJECT (957). YOU CAN DONATE TO HER CAMPAIGN HERE.
As of right now, Falastin has raised kr196,548 SEK out of her goal of kr1,000,000 SEK. kr54.66 SEK = $5, kr109.32 SEK = $10. Sharing this fundraiser and donating, no matter the amount, will help Falastin reach her goal and work to keep her family safe. Can you share this post, and donate a bit to save lives?
No because let’s talk about the fact the TERFs don’t want you to heal. Because if you heal then you won’t be the perfect little victim for them to leverage against trans women and the ~dangerous dangerous men~
Let’s talk ab the fact that TERFs only see AMAB on AFAB SA as real SA and when you try to change that dynamic at all (COCSA, Queer SA, etc.) all their arguments go out the window
Let’s talk about the fact that they don’t even care about the general wellbeing of women and only focus on keeping women hurt and scared for what? What do they get at the end of this fear mongering? It’s like cartoon villains who want to “destroy the world” and don’t have a plan for what to do after
TERFs want you misrebile, they want you hurt, they want to use you and your trauma as chess pieces to a “greater end” that doesn’t even exist
Most effective way to combat them is to have joy and heal. To live a good life. To not get sucked in the fear and misery because in the end it leads to nothing. Stay Trans, Stay Happy, Stay Safe
Lou Sullivan's books for free! 🏳️⚧️💜
1. Information For The Female To Male Cross Dresser And Transsexual, 3rd Edition
2. We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan 1961-1991
3. From Female to Male: The Life of Jack Bee Garland
Reminder that famous conservative figures are con artists. “Alpha male" influencers like Andrew Tate deliberately isolate you and exploit your loneliness for profit. They teach men ideals that make them repulsive to women, and then sell them "solutions" to make women like them, which obviously fail. Andrew Tate doesn't want you to become a "sigma male", he wants you lonely and miserable because that's when you're most dependent on him. Conservative influencers take advantage of ignorance and loneliness, and this is the end result.
Being a trans man with trans women friends is so fun bc you’ll help them clean out their closet and they’ll be like “here take this $300 suit that gives me disphoria” and you walk out of that encounter with the nicest item of clothing you’ve ever owned
I’m not here to get tumblr famous I’m here to chatty chat ab stuff I can’t say anywhere else
Laila & her husband are parents of a young daughter & have a son due to be born in February. They cannot afford necessities for themselves & their children.
They have received no new donations in two days. Please donate & share 🇵🇸
-> donate here <-
Currently at $986 / $20,000
The goal for today (November 27) will be to reach $1,000
Laila’s campaign has been vetted by @bilal-salah0
Ahmed still needs your help! His account was deleted and his new account is @ahmed-danii
Currently at:
€3,161/50,000
Only ONE DONATION in the past 2 DAYS
Reminder that i can draw for you if you donate: x
tags under the cut (dm to remove tag):
@vakarians-babe @sar-soor @plomegranate @nabulsi @sayruq
@palipunk-blog @communistkenobi @queerstudiesnatural @bluebellsinthedells @rizzyluke
@kordeliiius @self-hating-zionist @raelyn-dreams @unfortunatelyuncreative @licencetokrill-blog
@jezebelgoldstone @ramelcandy @labutansa @sammywo @autistwizard
@tortiefrancis @sparklinpixiedust @revcuse @golvio @leftismsideblog
@star-and-space-ace @rainbowywitch @marscodes @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @boyvander the-bastard-king
@ammonitetheseaserpent @girlinafairytale @timetravellingkitty @appsa @applejupiter
@brutaliakhoa @malcriada @retvolution @deansmultitudes @devilofthepit
@wellwaterhysteria @dykesbat @gorbling @half-empty-orbitals
@seasnipper @neptunerings
@marnota @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @vivisection-gf
@belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @animentality @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish
@violetlyra @the-bastard-king @tamaytka @northgazaupdates2 @skatehan
@awetistic-things @nightowlssleep @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @friendshapedplant
@mangocheesecakes @commissions4aid-international @rwuffles @mogai-sunflowers
@a-shade-of-blue @ibtisams @paper-mario-wiki @dlxxv-vetted-donations @writerqueenofjewels
@the-ballerina-battle @khanger @maoistyuri @acepumpkinpatrick @thetownwecallhome
@bat-luun @staretes @yokohama-crackhouse @omiteo777
@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationist @sawasawako
@aristotels @watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap
@deepspaceboytoy @kibumkim @socalchops @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli
@swagvo1d @himejoshikaoru @rooh-tawaka-blog @deathlonging @briarhips
@mahoushojoe @mazzikah @bixlasagna @anetteva @timetravellingkitty
@battleofthegarys @nillabean @fromjannah @ankle-beez @spindlesx
@squidie-tittie @shiskabubble @oursapphirestars @fitzfunnymoments @jonpertwee
@buttercuparry @bloglikeanegyptian @visoremi @olovelymoon-read-pinned-post @pinkhit-s
@purple-splattered-soul @papasmoke @one-time-i-dreamt @operationladybug @undertastic-dork
@imjustheretotrytohelp @yesterdaysprint @tamarrud @themazziah
@resourcesmasterposts @raccoon-in-a-hoodie @ezrazone @emathyst9 @wolfythewitch
@queerdocumentary-blog @quecksilvereyes @anneemay @angelslough @averagenotnormal
@sleevesareforlosers @sinnamontrash @determinate-negation @dormimi-zzz
@fuckyeahanarchistposters @gerbildine @generallyjl @good-old-gossip @heydreamchild
@jezior0 @komsomolka @lesbianmaxevans
DO NOT SKIP!!!!!!!
my friend nader, like many of us, has dreams of what he wants to do with his life. he wants to go to university — first, though, he has to survive the terrible conditions he’s been subject to by the zionist occupation.
we’ve hit €51,403, but that’s still only barely halfway to the final goal. donations have slowed down IMMENSELY.
nader’s father is recovering from surgery. there’s a 1 year old child in the family, along with multiple other children (including nader himself, who is only 17). please don’t forget about them!
donate, share, and tag your friends. please.
@mavigator @thatsonehellofabird @sharkjumpers @mysterypuppy
Help My Friend Survive In A Refugee Camp
My friend Abdul is an African LGBTQ+ refugee who needs more help than I can give him to survive at his camp.
$6,000 seems like a lot, and it is, but he would really be grateful for anything. If you have $1 to spare he would absolutely appreciate that. this is not a circumstance where not reaching the goal means it was pointless. I don't get paid much because I'm a full time student but he always appreciates and needs what I can give him.
He needs everything you can spare.
If you can't use GoFundMe for any reason I also take donations through these other money transfer services.
Ko-fi: Nervesnebula, Cashapp: nervesN, and Venmo: @nervesnebbin
I'll try to update this post with how much I've raised through these apps at the end of every day. I'll also try to post updates I get from him tagged as #Abdulfund on this blog, if he has anything he wants to say. Thank you.
$492
raised via ko-fi, venmo, and cashapp
DONATE 🇵🇸ㅤ𐙚♡ Scroll and read ↓
@esamadnan19 is a lot like me, he's a lot like a lot of us. Issam describes himself as a reserved, reclusive, independent person who would do anything for his family. So can you imagine how difficult it is to ask for financial help? No one should be in this situation. No one should be trying to survive behind walls while being hunted by israeli bombs. Issam, just before the genocide, married his forever love and now that home they shared together has been destroyed. Winter is here, and they are trying to survive. They need food, water and shelter! Please, consider donating to this beautiful couple. Every dollar counts! Even $5 / $10 can make a difference if we all contribute. Thank you and bless you. ㅤ𐙚♡
Vetted Links
this is your thanksgiving reminder that the chinook tribe is still fighting for federal recognition, which means they are unable to access programs and resources. please take some time today to sign their petition and donate if you’re able to. and if you live in washington or oregon please write to your elected officials.
Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.
A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.
I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.
And then I thought.
Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.
And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.
And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.
All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.
I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.
it’s time to find resellers and hunt them for sport
Any card can be the faggot card if you read into it too much
Thay r adding new tqarot card the faggot
Seamstress Chappel Roan be like you can make a dress with 15 yards
vehicular manslaughter chappell roan be like you can hit a hundred boys with cars
