Whatever Man🚶‍♂️

Danny didn't tell Dani that he was dating. Jazz told Dani who Danny was dating. Dani was upset with Danny for not telling her that he was dating Captain Marvel. So she came up with a little scam.

Dani: *flies into the meeting room* DAD! DAD!

Heroes: *watch in shock as the girl hugs Marvel, continuing to call for her dad*

Billy: *blue screen of death sound*

Dani: Daddy! Father won't let me go to Africa!! *starts crying loudly*

Marvel: *starts calming her down, although he doesn't understand what the hell she's saying* Hush, hush, I'll talk to him.

Dani: Really? *looks at Marvel with big puppy eyes*

Marvel: Really, really. *pats her on the head* I'll talk to him after the meeting. Come home, otherwise he'll worry.

(He's in a panic, he doesn't understand what he's saying, but the girl looks like his boyfriend. Danny said he had a clone. Billy will play as long as necessary)

Dani: But I want to stay with you. You come home so rarely because of work.

Marvel: Honey, you know it's not easy being a hero.

Dani (didn't expect Captain to play along): But you don't have time for me.

Marvel: I have all the time in the world for you.

Dani: *hugs Marvel* I love you daddy.

Marvel: I love you too, honey.

The League: *stands with their mouths wide open, staring at this picture*

Danny nearly has a heart attack when Dani and Billy tell him everything. Dani is grounded for a few days. Billy is terrified as his communicator is blowing up with emails and calls from his colleagues. Everyone wants to know more details. So Billy does what a normal person does. He goes on a two-week mission to another world, leaving Fawcett to protect Danny.

Flash: Who are you and where is Captain?

Danny: Marvel is in another world. He wrote to you.

Superman: You look a lot like that girl.

Danny: *sweats* Of course. That's how it should be.

GL: You're her father!!

Batman: What kind of creature are you? And how old are you?

Danny: I'm a ghost. I died when I was fourteen, but that was a long time ago! A long, long time ago! I just look like this.

Diana: How did you meet Marvel?

Danny: *keeps a straight face while screaming inside* You know, it just...happened? You know, like Penelope and Odysseus? Exactly the same! Yeah!

Batman: You're protecting the city instead of Marvel?

Danny: Yeah, and I'd be glad if you left. Magic City and all that crap. Fawcett still doesn't like me.

GL: The city is alive?

Danny: He's definitely more alive than me, so leave before he sets some magical parasites on you. Marvel won't be happy if he finds magical lice on you.

And eventually everyone comes to the conclusion that Marvel and Phantom are married.

Billy:*bursts into Danny's room* Why do they think we're married?!

Danny: How should I know?! They're your coworkers!!

The original toxic yaoi

headcannon gimli likes to sleep near to legolas while the elf is on night watch. bc he’s immortal and needs less sleep, lego is literally assigned watch all the freakin time, so he usually just finds a tree to lean against and posts up. but once he and gimli start becoming closer, he notices the dwarf will stay up to talk with him (chatting about everything under the sun. family, grief, art, music, legends,jokes) and they’ll converse late into the night. lego finds it very sweet how he sacrifices his precious sleep just to talk to him.

he can always tell when Gimli is getting tired bc his words will slow down and he’ll start to lean forward. Once that happens, it usually doesn’t take very long for him to excuse himself to go sleep.

but one night its warm and the crickets are chirping and the stars are out and they’re talking and it’s just so good that gimli pushes through the exhaustion just to hold onto the moment a bit longer. During a pause in the conversation, legolas notices soft lil snores coming from him, and looks over to nudge him and help him to his bedroll a few feet away,,,but he sees the dwarf is beginning to lean and lean and leannnnn until his head is resting on lego’s shoulder.

oh. wow.

he ignores the butterflies in his heart, and instead focuses on remaining as still as possible so he doesn’t jostle the sleeping dwarf.

carefully, he rests his head atop gimlis. they remain this way for hours, leaning into each other, with legolas awake, trying not to think about how much he likes this.

When the sun crests the horizon and the dwarf wakes up, he blushes at the closeness

legolas spends the whole of the next day worrying that he overstepped somehow, but when they settle down that night for his watch, gimli sits as close as ever. And when his speech begin to slow and his head begins to nod, the elf braces for the “well I really must be going now”. Instead, gimli leans his head on his shoulder, nestling close, and immediately dropping off into sleep.

this time, legolas can’t ignore the butterflies

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

i offer some silly nwalin in these trying times

I’ve had this headcannon for so long I’ve forgotten it’s not actually canon but I like to think that hobbits are sort of like billy goats in a way. That they can eat just about everything. Immunity to most poisons, able to eat raw or even rotten meat and vegetables without getting sick (though it’s more out of desperation then actual want) and so on.

To add on to this I like to think that because of this hobbits tend to have extremely high tolerance when it comes to alcohol and other narcotics. They can drink as much as a full grown dwarf and barely be tipsy. Which would lean more into their reputation for very high quality smoke and drink.

I’ve thought about possible reasons for this and most start with some sort of famine hundreds of years prior that made them evolve to be able to survive with little to nothing, forcing them to eat foods that to most aren’t even edible. Poisonous mushrooms, rotten meat, venomous bugs, straight up dirt.

Obviously since hobbits current day tend to be seen as a wealthy but humble sort of race I’d imagine the days of famine are long gone but the traits that let them survive have stayed, evolving more into letting them eat large quantities of food probably with some trade off of needing to sleep less or something. But the average weight for the race has grown as the extra food and less time spent foraging for such food has made them rounder

Anyway this has all combined into this idea in my head that every so often bilbo will eat something near the company, probably during the trip when they were extremely low on food, something that the dwarfs most certainly couldn’t eat without dying but bilbo would neglect to inform them of how strong a hobbits stomach is and the company would collectively freak tf out

Along with that I’d imagine later down the road (we’re heading into shipping territory) that if thorin and bilbo got married that would upset quite a lot of people, a hobbit and a dwarf, could you even imagine??? Royal marriages do tend to always upset at least one person but obviously that would raise the possibility of an assignation attempt. The good ole “poison their food”. I’d imagine Bilbo would make some comment about the food tasting odd but continue eating it no problem just for a guard or someone to burst into the room to inform them about the attempt on bilbos life, however bilbos bowl is currently empty and home boy seems just fine. I’d imagine thorin would be extremely dramatic about the whole thing, refusing to let Bilbo sleep so he can keep an eye on him the rest of the night in case he starts dying, much the bilbos irritation.

I’d also imagine that because of their resistance to famine and odd foods, plus the extra weight that if in a situation where truly no food is present, they could go for much longer time periods without eating and be just fine, though maybe slightly uncomfortable

Word vomiting over.

Hey, yeah so..

Enjoy this thing I made 😎

Man I’m tired and I’m sorry for bringing up some less pleasing stuff on here but I feel the need to talk about this. So recently I’ve noticed an increase in people using chat gpt to write fanfiction, even some in the hobbit fandom. Ai “art” has been a pretty difficult topic for me for a while, yet I want to talk about it more and bring people to understand the consequences of it. But I think it’s also important to bring awareness to the other parties suffering from the usage of ai. I chose Bilbo for this cause I think it’s funny how these ai “writers” forget that Bilbo is an actual writer, so to use a tool that steals from other creators would be the worst insult to his craft

So here’s what Bilbo says:

And here’s what I say, tag your favourite writers to show them support!!

@stoadsie @belalubroski @fantasyinallforms @conkers-thecosy @lucigoo @wolfsbane-and-nettles

I had a dumb thought (x)