Latest Posts by shutupcrime - Page 3

Star Wars 💫

Bringing you tired space dads barely coping with their magically precocious children since 1977

Diversity win! The terrifying witch chasing you through the multiverse is a milf

8-year old me watching Aang debating over how to deal with firelord Ozai:

I relate to Steven Grant, because I too, am a coping mechanism for a mentally ill forty year old man

Of course Selina is into Battinson he literally has the personality of a wet cat

The only accurate versions of Batman are stinky lil sad boy emo bruce who listens to nirvanna in the dark and applies eyeliner without a mirror, and super dilf Bruce Wayne who adopts 12 new orphans a day.

That will be all.

I just love how supportive and kind the show made Stede, from the first episode he’s trying to help his crew better themselves, paying them wages (something Stede bonnet did irl by the way). He cares about their emotional well being he is such a golden retriever of a man-

And then- when Ed comes into his life and Stede is instantly on board to teach him the ways of a gentleman and fucks up a whole ship of people who put him down, and the whole exchange where he’s just like let’s forget the whole murder thing, oh you killed ur dad? Bitch probably had it coming xoxo Stede

Even when he goes home and he’s slow to realise how good the life Mary has built for herself is, he goes on to Stan her paintings and her work and he even fangirls over her new boyfriend

I bet he sees Blackbeard going through his villain period next season and he’s just like ✨ yassssssss my love, stab them all, Lucius who? Hahaha ✨

So many in thoughts in my head but just that Ed had to kill Lucius because he represented who he was becoming, Lucius encourages his soft side, supports him through Stede leaving, is himself a creative and the most open about his sexuality on the ship, so Ed throwing him off board to commit to his Blackbeard persona is really just him shoving down all of what he could have been and had with stede and the fucking tragedy and OHMYGODITHOUGHTTHISWOULDJUSTBEAFUNNYSHOWABOUTPIRATESHELP

Thinking about how in the Harley Quinn tv show Ivy’s pet plant Frank is meant to be an homage to Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, and that, that entire musical is about a sweet nerd obsessed with plants (who has a tendency towards homicide) who falls in love with this eccentric girl whose accent you could cut with a knife, and not only that but this girl has had to suffer through the abuse of her psychopathic ex boyfriend who laughs maniacally and likes to see people in pain, but once she gets away from him she comes into her own and starts to see her own self worth and the two bring out the best in each other and help heal each other’s past traumas and rejections and anyway-

My point is that Poison Ivy and Harley would dress as Audrey and Seymour for Halloween no further questions-

This is so deep help-

All I want is a community movie where Troy and Abed are reunited and live happily ever after in a yacht making movies with Levar Burton. Is that too much to ask?

I’m never going to be over how Midnight Mass literally portrayed the death of an entire community that was already slowly dying, and the moment we finally felt relief and knew it was all over, was when the disabled girl couldn’t feel her legs anymore

In love with the implication at the end of howls moving castle that at some point turnip head is gonna come back and try and be a homewrecker

Sometimes a family is just you, your emo wizard husband, the child he’s adopted, a dog that may or may not be a spy, a literal fire demon, and the geriatric witch trying to eat said husbands heart

Mike Flanagan will make a series about a haunted house, childhood trauma, add in some long ass monologues and a couple of lesbians for good measure, cast his wife in a main role, and I will go crazy Every. Single. Time.

No, but I don’t think you understand, I don’t need therapy I have studio ghibli

Gotta love how pierce is constantly called Jeff out for being gay when Troy and Abed are RIGHT THERE

Petition for a remake of Troy where they just let Achilles be gay

I am forever in love with the fact that in buffy the vampire slayer they present vampires as these sexy degenerate creatures but then their faces morph into something that looks like a gargoyle made love to Voldemort and I think that is just 👌 perfection

Why do Taylor Swift music videos just hit different? Like sometimes she’s a silent movie damsel, a goddamn princess or a physical manifestation of toxic relationships that lives in a fairytale mansion, but it’s all just ✨vibes✨

Don’t get me wrong I love all the emo versions of Batman in modern adaptations where’s he’s all broody and just sits alone in a cave at night because ✨vibes✨ but one day I hope we see the comic accurate bat dad who adopts every stray child he meets and has movie nights with the justice league

Remember when everyone was like Mmmm futuristic dystopias with real world parallels and now we’re all like damnnnnn in depth fantasy worlds with corrupt caste systems and the only consistent thread is that the government ain’t shit

Rating every season of Community:

Season 1: lots of iconic moments, Troy and Abeds rendition of somewhere out there combined with Chang’s chaotic dancing and the deans Dalmatian fetish, but overall not nearly as unhinged as later seasons 7/10

Season 2: HELL YES, do I need to say anything further than the paintball episodes, the zombie outbreak ABBA extravaganza and what has to be the best Christmas episode. This season also gets points for the development of the group dynamic from season 1 9.5/10 (Virtually perfect but I don’t love the episode where Pierce gets swindled by a moist towelette heiress only for the two of them to bond over their racism🤢)

Season 3: I’m so biased because this is easily my favourite season but I mean come on- REMEDIAL CHAOS THEORY- the darkest timeline, the iconic evolution of Chang from security guard to war lord. This season also has the most character development with Troy’s whole messiah arc and his conflict with Abed in pillows and blankets. This is the only season where I feel like the characters learn from their mistakes and it ends in such a good place with the group all moving on with their lives 10/10

Season 4: this is literally referred to as the gas leak year, Dan Harmon wasn’t there, ‘nuff said 2/10 (and only because I like the die hard episode)

Season 5: a return to form from the gas leak year but the second half kind of falls apart after Troy leaves. Some iconic episodes like the ass crack bandit and the lie detector test after Pierce dies. The final episode with Troy also nails the departure of Donald glover from the show and it’s genuinely heartbreaking to watch him and Abed say goodbye. Pretty good but not my favourite 6/10

Season 6: six seasons and a movie is half true already so keep manifesting everyone. I love the introduction of Frankie she is easily the most underrated character on the show love the fact she is presented as being so rational and grounded but she is just as weird as the rest of the gang. This was a solid season with good stories and a perfect ending to the show. Only thing that could have made it better is if Troy came back. 8/10

Ok but Britta Perry is such an icon because when the show starts you think that she and Jeff are going to be the normal ones in the group, but then she frames a man for frog related crimes and falls in love with the human embodiment of subway

Ok but like what if instead of working every day to earn a degree to get a job I don’t want, I escape to a ramshackle cottage in the woods and bake bread and idk form a coven or something

I am never not thinking about the fact that Edward Fairfax Rochester had the audacity to dress in drag as a low rent fortune teller, harass his guests, find out if his crush likes him and in the end it actually kind of works

Head empty just thinking about the icon that is Dean Craig “I’ll sit on it” Pelton