Latest Posts by shutupcrime - Page 2

Season 2 of shadow and bone was like one of those insanely tall cartoon sandwiches- lots of good stuff in there but how in the hell am I meant to jam that thing into my face in one go

Most underrated line in all of community

Guillermo del Toro directing Frankenstein is a gift to humanity on its own, but the possibility of Andrew Garfield finally bringing the queer yearning and fruitiness that has been missing from every adaptation of Frankenstein is the cherry on top of the cake

EDIT:

The real reason sense8 slapped so hard and inevitably got cancelled is that it had an anime concept, an epically talented international cast and prominent queer characters whose lives didn’t get sugar coated by the writers

The thing I find actually quite disturbing about Netflix is that they know that the only people who really have the time for the binge model are just actual children. Their main market is teenagers which is why shows like Wednesday and Ginny and Georgia do so well and television made for adults and people with full formed brains keeps getting cancelled. It’s pathetic

I was today years old when I found out Mike White of White Lotus fame is Mr Schneebly

The best part of the Magnus archives is definitely the minute he takes after each statement to trash the person who gave it

I’m sorry I ruined your life and pillaged your village, ok?? That’s just how I flirt

Coming back to this because these are all the other musicals that should be recast with muppets:

1. Rent

Everyone is a muppet except the evil landlord, self explanatory, done. (I don’t know enough about rent to cast this one tbh but I think Scooter would be an excellent mark)

2. The Phantom of the Opera

The count is the phantom (join me in a fantasy world where the muppets and Sesame Street gang cross over- or it could also just be Gonzo I guess I like the idea of him as a homewrecker) miss piggy is Christine, kermit is raoul and the only humans are Meg and her mother. Additional cast members could be scooter as the stage manager, per the usual, Fozzie Bear as that one Italian opera singer but instead of singing he just wants to tell his jokes, Gonzo as Carlotta in a wig and statler and Waldorf as themselves heckling the opera

3. Jesus Christ Superstar

Hear me out ok, this one may be controversial, but miss piggy is Jesus, the slightly jaded, undeniable star of the show, and kermit is Judas, undeniably in love with her, but tired of her hogging the spotlight and feels she’s turned her back on what the muppets are really about. Beaker is Peter because he also looks like he would nope out when shit goes down and deny miss piggy, and Mary Magdalene should be played by renowned Broadway actress Philips Sousa because I just think that would be really cool if she hasn’t already played that role

4. Sweeney Todd

In which the animal plays unhinged sweeney todd, judge Turpin is Sam the eagle, miss piggy is Johanna, kermit is Anthony, and miss Lovett is played by Janice, who while I think lacks the manic energy needed for the role, would be a good chilled out foil to animal and bring a new flavour to the character of the crazy character who’s so deluded they make their actions seem almost sane

5. Little Shop of Horrors

I’m sorry I know I keep casting them as the two leads but kermit and miss piggy were born to play Audrey and Seymour, it is a pair that cannot be topped. The only change this makes to the original is that we all know miss piggy takes no shit so I think the stuff with the dentist (still played by Steve Martin because you can’t improve upon perfection) is a misinterpretation and she actually beats the ever living shit out of him for disrespecting her. Rizzo the rat should play the slimey businessman who buys Audrey Two, Statler and Waldorf are collectively mr mushnik, the chorus should also be human but I think the piece de resistance would be the Swedish chef as Audrey two and all the world is his chicken, and all the world should be deeply, deeply, afraid.

Tell me in the comments if I missed anyone or you have any casting ideas yourself!!

This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert

This has definitely been pitched before, but petition for a remake of les miserables where everyone is a muppet except Javert

Barbie being an eldritch terror wasn’t on my bingo card for 2023 but let’s fucking gooo

If you need a reminder we’re in the darkest timeline look no further than the outline of the adaption of into the woods we could have had back in the 90s

This version also would have had all the creatures in the movie played by puppets made by the Jim Henson company.

WE WERE F@*%#<€$¥ING ROBBED

Every conversation in 1899

Persona A: monologues about identity and the nature of reality and if anything is real and what is god and is our existence purposeful if we’re pursuing a life that is not truly our own

Person B: *nods in dutch

Rip Jane Austen you would have loved tumblr

Other marvel directors:

And here’s five seconds of a queer character you will never see again

James Gunn:

Here’s Drax and Mantis getting blitzed in a gay bar at Christmas time 🌈🌈🌈

Releasing movies on streaming with no cinematic release is the new direct to video you heard me right

The genre is platonic soulmates your honour

I’m calling it now Poseidon is gonna be fucking Ryan Reynalds

Edit: well this aged like milk

Watching Daemon flirt with his niece be like

Not seeing nearly enough appreciation for the pure excellence that was 24/7

I mean the entire cast was just incredible and it basically stands on its own as a short film.

You get so invested in these peoples stories and the atmosphere is so tense and chaotic, and John Dee is just chilling

Even if he is just a smol guy in the corner eating his ice cream whilst everyone else is getting laid😂

Wishing a very lovely day to all you gals, guys, non binary folks, ravens who sound like patton Oswalt, anthropomorphic manifestations of words that begin with D, emotionally tormented bisexual exorcists, diner lesbians, boys with mummy issues, boys with daddy issues, girls with both, random medieval peasants who live forever and hang out at the local pub, human personifications of a meadow, and a literal nightmare dressed like a daydream

Did not expect to spend my day crying over a gargoyle named Gregory but here we are

I think the thing that’s really striking about the got books as opposed to the show is the way Martin never shies away from how physically damaged everyone is left. In the show Tyrion gets a badass scar but in the books he looses half his nose, Briennes teeth are broken and a chunk of her face is literally bitten out. Theon looks like an old man, his body is completely wrecked -

But they’re still not beyond hope. Their stories don’t finish with the horrible things that happen to them, their scars and deformities, they go on, and it’s not pretty and tragic and romantic like a story

And that’s the whole point.

Every single book in the series makes a point about how violence and war is romanticised in literature and history and Martin makes his character a living testament to the reality of war, the ugliness, the trauma, and that depth is just another thing that got glossed over in the show where people stay pretty and everything that made the books special is watered down.

Let your characters be ugly. Let them get hurt. Let them be scarred, and watch them get up anyway.

If it makes any of you feel better, Will got queerbaited in season 4 too

Freddie Krueger 🤝 Vecna

burn victims who hunt and murder teens in their dreams

Reginald’s toast during the wedding episode

Just learnt that the cast of mamma Mia were literally all drunk like the whole time they filmed and everything suddenly makes sense

You guys I think I cracked it- I don’t think vecna is going to try and kill will, I think he’ll try to BECOME him.

From what we saw in the flashbacks Henry is described as sensitive, a word also used to describe will (obvious queer coding can’t lie) and they’re both in a sense outsiders even in their own families. Will is also a wizard in dnd, will the wise, whilst vecna is an evil wizard, implying he’s a dark version of will-

If will was taken to the upside down for a reason, which volume 2 is going to establish he was, and he’s part of vecnas plan, then it’s possible 001 wants him as a host body since he’s stuck in the upside down and can’t reach Hawkins physically, only through getting into the minds of his victims.

Maybe Vecna knows will also has the potential to lock into some kind of internal mental power, like he did when he was young, and this whole thing, the stuff with the mind flayer, all of it, has just been to prepare Will as a host body and possess him so he can return to the real world?

Imagine the tragedy of wills friends (MIKE especially!!) looking on as he’s taken over by Vecna and the chaos begins

EDIT: I stand by this theory for season 5 fyi

Princess Leia has a history of floating magically and yes love that very much for her

Loving that the obi wan Kenobi show is setting up that Obi wan literally outsourced leia’s rescue in a new hope to Luke because it was such a pain in the ass the first time round 😂