shutupcrime

Latest Posts by shutupcrime

Kenneth Branagh has the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible

Spoiler Free Review of Sunrise on the Reaping from someone who just stayed up all night to read it and is now broken emotionally

Suzanne is not fucking around anymore. This book is about so many things but the thing that stuck out most to me was the rage I think dominates this prequel more than any other book in the series.

When the news came out a book about Haymitch was coming after years of fan requests (and a film to be developed in tandem) I’ll admit, I had my doubts.

But what Collins delivers is more brutal a gut punch than I think even the most hard core fans of this series were anticipating. In the wake of political unrest across the US and world wide, in an era of disinformation, she tells the reader clearly to look and think for themselves, and shows the atrocities that can come when we do not.

This book is about anger and injustice and it does not try to convince its reader otherwise. At times you can feel Collins shaking the reader by the shoulders: ‘See?! See what happens when you blindly accept what they tell you? See what you let them take?’.

Fans familiar with Haymitch will not be surprised by a lot of the major beats of this story but the focus on propaganda still leads to some interesting reveals. This is the goriest of Collins series and in many ways I think will be the hardest to adapt, perhaps her own rebellion against the industry that continues to profit off her work and contort her message

Yellowjackets Prediction:

Antler Queen/Final Boss is Tai

I feel like this makes perfect sense and is not talked about at all. Tai’s dark persona taking over is really being hinted at this season and it makes sense that the girls will go for that after Shauna (inevitably) goes off the rails and ruins their chance to go home.

It’s even hinted at in the final image of the title sequence plus the wilderness is always giving her stuff (Van getting better, Tai is the most successful of all the girls to come home). I feel like the creepy man she sees everywhere is this dark persona that takes over her and the show is building up to her finally giving in to it.

Don’t know if I trust the way Christopher Nolan writes women for him to be allowed to tackle anything Greek mythology related

Spotify wrapped 2024 prove you didn’t generate the entire thing using ai challenge

Hear me out-

A Muppet’s Midsummer Night’s Dream

Theseus, Hippolyta, Lysander, Hermia, Helena and Demetrius are all esteemed Shakespearean actors who keep to the original script, whilst all the fairies and some of the mechanicals are muppets muppeting about with the occasional soliloquy.

I present to you my vision:

Gonzo as Oberon

Believe me when I tell you Gonzo has RANGE. I think his background as an alien will help him embody the more mystical elements of Oberon and we know from his performance as the narrator in a Muppets Christmas Carol he’s a natural leading man.

Rizzo as Puck

Name a more iconic duo than Gonzo and Rizzo the rat? You can’t- of course you fucking can’t. Their chemistry is off the charts, celestial dare I say, platonic soulmates the like of which us mere mortals cannot comprehend. On top of the incredible back and forth they’ll bring to Oberon and Puck, Rizzo has a sense of mischief and is just the right amount of a whimsy can’t do nothing right boy to bring a really endearing vision of Puck to the stage.

Miss Piggy as Titania

Is it controversial to pair up Miss Piggy with someone who’s not her usual leading man? Sure, but bear with me I have a vision. Oberon and Titania are at odds for most of the play and I can definitely see a world in which Miss Piggy beats his ass in front of all the other fairies. Also the role of a glamorous ethereal queen? Are you kidding? Miss Piggy is going to body this role heart and soul.

Kermit as Bottom

Remember when I told you to bear with me? I would never break up a duo like Kermit and his beloved Miss Piggy, are you mad? Bottom and Titania spend the whole play smooching and mucking about with the fairies, not only do these two have the chemistry but it also gives Miss Piggy a chance to serenade her beloved Kermie. The casting also works on a meta level with Kermit playing an over ambitious actor somewhat hemmed in by an eccentric troupe. The only question is with the iconic transformation scene, do we cast a human actor who turns into Kermit, or do we just have regular ole Kermit with some donkey ears? I need the thoughts of the public desperately.

The Mechanicals:

Fozzie Bear as Snug

Waka, waka

Beaker as Francis Flute

Literally his worst nightmare is playing Thisbe.

Pepe the Prawn as Robin Starveling

Just a weird lil guy pretending to be moonlight

Bunsen as Tom Snout

Tom Snouts a tinker- plus he can do Pyramus and Thisbe’s special effects

Scooter as Peter Quince

Typical theatre manager energy.

The Fairies:

The Chickens as Titania’s Attendants

To be honest I can see the Henson company making a lot of cool original puppets for the fairies but you can’t have the muppets without some dancing chickens.

Janice and Animal should also get special cameos as Peaseblossom and Mustardseed respectively and naturally Waldorf and Statler show up to heckle Pyramus and Thisbe at the end.

Disney- make it happen

Kaos being cancelled rlly sucks and I’m sad we don’t see the continuation of the story but lord in heaven how do you make Orpheus Chris Martin when hozier was right there yearning and trying to bury himself, ascending to a higher plane of existence, viewing all his past lives, realising he is in fact the reincarnation of Orpheus and meanwhile Chris Martin is probably out there making a salad without dressing

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

She was born to play Judy Poovey if you even care

Thinking about the lyrics from ballad of Lucy Gray but applied to Haymitch and Maysilee Donner, and his girlfriend, and his family, and literally all the people haunting him while he slowly drinks himself to death after winning the games

Some of you are too afraid to admit this but we all know Star Wars works best when it goes full soap opera

Love the darth plagueis reveal because it’s 100% giving the energy of your roommate has a date over and you’re peeking out of your room to see if it’s safe to use the kitchen yet

I feel like so many problems people have with tv at the moment could be solved if we just went back to the good ole days of 20 episodes a season that’s just sixty percent filler and character development. Give the people what they want- less condensed story and more meaningless shenanigans

What I love most about the finale is how it shows Louis finally on his own and content. Claudia calls him out for it multiple times, “who are you without me” who is Louis alone, because he never gets a chance to find out between his relationships to his family then lestat then Claudia then armand. Louis is always having to perform a role for those he loves and he has no idea who he is alone. The whole “yes maitre” roleplay with armand divorces him even further from who he is, forcing him back into the role of Louis the pimp.

But instead of going back to lestat Louis decides to be on his own, to fully be himself, and the redecorated apartment full of colour and pictures of Claudia and his brother is a beautiful expression of this.

When Francesca bridgerton is confirmed as a sapphic

@dexter morgan you are not a sociopath you are just bi and autistic

Jukebox musicals are the lowest form of art confirmed

How dare the Joker 2 be a jukebox musical. We were rooting for you, buddy.

Idk how to describe it, but George Emerson and Mr Darcy are on exact opposite ends of romantic lead spectrum yet both possess insane amounts of autistic swag just executed in wildly different ways

Honestly at this point when Netflix cancels a show it’s an assurance of quality

I love that Adam ruins everything has just slowly evolved into Adam explains how capitalism is a human meat grinder into which we are all slowly falling

Just discovered the list feature on letterboxed

Ranking the Kens in Barbie based on overall ‘kenergy’

1. Ken

- little cowboy hat

- doctor who

- just misses his best friend barbie 🥹

8.5 out of Ken

2. Ken

- less fun lil cowboy hat

- gets to be douche bro president Ken

- related to Chris evans maybe?

- gives Ryan gosling a lil kiss

5 out of Ken

3. Ken

- back flipping Ken

- excellent dancer

- gives serious steal ur girl energy

- possibly the most sexually aggressive of all the Kens (I am referencing his interactions with Ryan Gosling Ken exclusively, the energy was palpable)

- served some mad cunt

9 out of Ken

4. Ken

- possibly my favourite Ken

- always has Ken’s back

- very goofy dancer 💜

- played drums when all the other Ken’s played guitar

- recipient of the holy pimp coat

- almost certainly in love with his best friend Ken

10 out of Ken

5. Ken

- THE Ken

- he’s kenough 🥲

- lost interest in the patriarchy when he found out it wasn’t about horses

- instigated the greatest out of nowhere dance number in a film I’ve ever seen

- buuuuuuuut also enslaved a bunch of women so…

-10 out of Ken (still love him tho)

Show Jaime:

“I know I just slept with Brienne who I have a deep attachment to, and I’m about six seasons deep into a redemption arch but Ima peace out and get crushed by rocks with my sister wife”

Book Jaime literally in the middle of reading a letter from Cersei begging him to come and save her:

“I wonder what brienne is doing right now”

Charlie is such a great contrast to Benoit Blanc, because while Blanc is all about elaborate whodunnits and smooth talkin Charlie is a feral ex gambler who compulsively shouts bullshit and has no cool whatsoever

Guardians of the Galaxy is the story of a Racoon who flies a space ship and it had me sobbing on the floor.

It’s about outcasts, overcoming abuse, learning to love yourself and those around you.

It’s about forgiveness and guilt and family.

It’s about all the ludicrous little details surrounding life that make it bearable.

…I just really like the fucking raccoon ok?

The way I wept every time Rockets friends were onscreen knowing it could only end in tragedy.

Ok I’m scared. My follower count keeps going up. Every time I log onto my account, another hundred followers. Soon it will be up to 2000. Who are you people? Are you bots? Demons sent to torment me with your presence without ever liking my posts?? I thought I had all the trappings of fame but my audience turned out to be a stadium full of empty seats.

I’m sorry no one is allowed to hate on the actress cast as Alys Rivers she was the fucking she wolf in GLOW that woman is an ICON

We need an equivalent of legally blonde for every movie genre. Give us gritty police dramas with a new generations of Elle woods learning to batter drug lords with phone books. A murder mystery but the detective is an unsuspecting sorority girl who loves pink and think poroit is a kind of shampoo but turns out to be frighteningly adept at solving clues. Just an army of gorgeous women in cute little outfits proving to the world why barbie is an expert in every profession

Fans when we get a pjo show: 🥰🥰🥰🥰😘

Fans when we get a Harry Potter show: