No Not Even A Single Soul:

Hydra: hello mr. Barnes we're going to take your arm off.

Bucky: i think i just need help.

Hydra: give you cool robot arm

Bucky: this is so dumb

Sam: the higher i am the better i can see

Bucky: you can- you can fly

Sam: hush now bucky i am searching

Game night #3

Nat: pink " send a 'you up' text to the last person you hooked up with"

Wanda: oh this should be good

Nat: alright sent

Y/n: *phone dings* its just fury

Wanda: oh haha for a second I just thought, never mind

Nat: im going to make some drinks

Y/n: make mine a double

Bucky: sorry im late i was doing things...

Sam: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!!!!

Bucky: push is such a strong word, i prefer to call it "giving you a little nudge"

Sam: oh I'll give you "a little nudge" WHEN I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ARSE!

Bucky: HEY! Watch your fucking language infront of the captain

Steve:....

Bucky and steve: *in a hot tub*

Perter & Shuri: Two bros chilling in a hot tube five feet apart cuz they're not gay!

Tony & T'achalla:...

Here's a quote I saw today

"I want AI to do my laundry and dishes so I can do art and writing, not for AI to do my art and writing so I can do my laundry and dishes"

- Joanna Maciejewska

Sam: bucky and i were crossing the street and this dude drove by and honked at us

Zemo: *sighing* what did he do?

Sam: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into the window and...

Bucky: WHO WANTS A STEERING WHEEL?!

Nat:Y/n, peter. What is the the meaning of this ridiculous high pitch scream? I see no blood.

Karen: your stupid reckless little ones just hit my angel hunter in the face with a snowball

Hunter: *wines*

Nat: and your name is?

Karen: Karen

Nat: ah Y/n peter you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to hunter

Y/n: simple peter and i had constructed bunckers on either side of field

Peter: and we blow air horn as to warn other children this was now hotspot and epic snowbattle was about to commence

Y/n: in heat of snow ball battle with peter and i hunter snuck passed our barriers and simply og hit by crossfire

Nat: simple explanation your child is incompetent

Karen: you little monsters. So your just rising future criminals

Nat: i think only crime here is naming your son hunter. Should be pylon or sitting duck

Karen: you know what

Nat: waht you going to do karen teres no managers out her

Yoga instructeur: release on the sounds trapped in your mind

Bucky, wanda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Steve: look how cute these pens are

Bucky: steve thats gay

Steve: bucky we've been dating for...