Banana?

the different rows in concert band

1st row: most well behaved, small, usually filled with flutes

2nd row: some whispering. usually clarinets, french horns, other woodwinds

3rd row: whispering and giggling widespread. trumpets and maybe low brass

4th row: the most chill; the quietest row. tubas and low brass

5th row, percussion: Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

“I have a bedroll and a canteen, can I roll to waterboard him?”

- The neutral good cleric, about the plantation owner we just abducted

DM (as goblin): Holzi eat fresh meat!

Elf Paladin: Holzi… are you Gollum?

Dwarf Barbarian: Oh my god, he is Gollum! We found him in a cave!

Paladin: And you kidnapped him to take him on a journey.

Barbarian: And I’m a small person!

Context: our half elf fighter took a sip of a mysterious slime which they later found out to be "goblin juice" which turned them green and gave them advantage and bonuses to every roll as well as 22 additional hp but turned them green. The DM was making them roll con saves on each turn during a boss fight.

DM: make a con save

Fighter: ah right, the cocaine save

Wizard/rogue: what happens if they fail the save?

DM: *shrugs and says nothing*

Me: they get consumed by the cocaine haze

Death Salad

DM: So it turns out that he’s actually a death… sal-ad? No, death slaad.

Ranger PC (to the tune of Fruit Salad by The Wiggles): Death salad, yummy yummy!