Latest Posts by sleepyisafox - Page 2
I don’t like being referred to as a boy
When I tell you that I have read fanfic characterizations so OOC that they'd classify as an original character, trust me I have read THOUSANDS. But you know what I don't do? :) Tell the author of those fanfics that they might as well classify that character as an original character if they're going to write them like one. Because that's fucking rude. People don't owe you your preferred characterizations. The back button is free.
It’s much easier to fit the clothes to your body than it is to fit your body to the clothes!
This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.
A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.
Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?
His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.
I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.
It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.
I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.
I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.
I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.
So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.
Me: “The food webs we try to teach children and the public are too simple to get the point across. Why do they never bother to show the more intricate relationships between specific species? It can’t be that hard to represent with basic teaching tools... I’ll make the thing!”
The thing:
Me: “....I get it now.”
Lesbian flag Seychellized.
Mad about politics again
when u have the correct number of cinderblocks in ur enclosure
it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks
For non-American tumblrians, four to five shoeboxes is about as tall as one couch
fucking insane to me that people can be mean to kids. this thing is four to five shoe boxes tall and youre shouting at it ?? ? what is your damage the mf just got here.
anyway. onto better things
a list of some cool features to add to splatoon ocs
canon (we’ve seen at least one canon character with these features):
Multiple colored tentacles (either individually or as a gradient)
different ear shapes
piercings, including tentacle piercings
dyed fingertips
different teeth shapes
scarred tentacles
dried or fried tentacles
deny them of their eyebrows
unnatural skin tones
facial hair
tattoos
unable to change form
different eye mask shapes
inspiration drawn from real squid and octopus species
extra or missing tentacles
making them a different animal entirely - splatoon characters aren’t limited to just inklings and octolings! Make your oc a type of fish, an anemone, an urchin, a shellfish, an octarian or a salmonid! (Or maybe something else entirely)
non-canon (as in, we’ve never seen characters with these features)
Scars from ink
ink-colored markings/visible chromatophores
shaped tentacle spots or suction cups
(I wanted this part of the list to be longer but I can’t think of any more atm lol)
if you have more ideas for either canon or non canon features, feel free to share them! :)
My new method to avoid eye contact is a low cut top and a push-up bra.
hey. what do a selkie and a ziploc bag have in common
The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.
i literally love when people realize positive reinforcement works like yes its so silly isnt it. but it literally works humans love juice reward too
reblog to give the person you reblogged it from a little heart lollipop
Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”
tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it
hey wanna know a secret
Read more
Just seen a bathroom sign that says "Femmes". Unsure if this is woke or not.
I feel like normies think of tumblr as the fanart and aesthetic and gifset website but real tumblrinas know that our most culturally significant output and our lifeblood is the humble text post
youtube should give viewers the option to grade video essays like it's a high school english class assignment and if the median grade is below passing then they stick a huge png over your video advising that this is a vlog with slide show components. if the youtuber ever goes "umm. I'm not going to attempt to pronounce this" at any point then they're genetically altered to be able to survive underground and let loose in an endless series of catacombs built beneath their home to live the rest of their life as the fabled town troll.
I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal
*feels my body get anxious for no reason* what is it boy, what do you see?
ITS GONNA BE SPLATFEST SOON!! FRIENDLY DAMN REMINDER BC I WAS BEING THRASHED WHILE I TRIED TO PRACTICE EARLIER.