Die.

aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE

so the gifset didn’t load correctly

Shook my rug for the first time in 6 months releasing over a kilo of dust, three migrating albatrosses and the stampede from the Lion King

‘I saw you and waved but you didn’t wave back!’

Me:

sidekicks l redbubble: nickienac

youth dystopian novel protagonist: i guess you could say there’s a darkness in me. i’m not normal. never have been barista at jamba juice: ma’am are you going to order anything

Ted Allen: You have 30 seconds left, chefs.

Chef: I looked down at my dish and realized it needed a little more color, so I decide to make a quick purée out of lima beans and hot raspberry sauce, then brûlée the top with a blowtorch and add a few mint leaves to really give it some texture.

Me: *pterodactyl screech*