Gays Will Set Their IG To Private When All It Contains Is Two Photos From A Family Christening And Last

Not sure these subtitles are correct...

aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall

FINISH HIM

Duolingo telling you how to multilingually smash gender norms

when i actually try to make myself look good for once

Ted Allen: You have 30 seconds left, chefs.

Chef: I looked down at my dish and realized it needed a little more color, so I decide to make a quick purée out of lima beans and hot raspberry sauce, then brûlée the top with a blowtorch and add a few mint leaves to really give it some texture.

Me: *pterodactyl screech*

*Sees old people reading newspaper in public*

*Sees it's not the Daily Mail*

 Me: