Beside You

Might I pretty please request prompt 40 for rexsoka!!

Ahh thank you for the ask and your patience! I am sorry it took so long to write this. I've added a healthy dose of Rex-centric angst and hurt/comfort for you, so i hope that makes up for the long wait!

This fic is set a couple years after they part at the end of TCW, sometime during when Rex is gathering his forces on Teth.

The fic is a little longer than planned so the full text is below the cut!

Beside You

Kiss Roulette Prompt 40: Impulsive Kiss

Pairing: Rexsoka

Word Count: 1,500

Rex sat up, desperately gasping for air, arms shaking as he trained his pistols on the clone troopers holding the med bay door open. He had to do it. He had to save her. To save them, both of them.

GoodsoldiersfollowordersGoodsoldiersfolloworders-

The blaster shots rang out in his mind, shattering the dream and suddenly he was sitting up on his bunk all over again, gasping for air and training his empty, outstretched arms towards the wall.

Rex wasn’t sure how long he remained frozen in that position. His breathing was ragged and his heart hammered so speedily behind his ribs he was sure it would stop of fatigue. An uncomfortable mixture of terror, guilt and relief ran through his veins, as clear and palpable as it had been on the day Order 66 had come through. 

Trying desperately to control his breathing and calm his rapid heartbeat, he swung his legs over the side of the bunk. The stone floors of the monastery on Teth were cool beneath his feet, but the sensation did nothing to ground him. His breath still came in short, shallow gasps. His hands trembled in his lap. Hands that were covered in the blood of his brothers-

Rex squeezed his eyes shut tight, balling his shaking hands into fists. Wrangling for control of himself once more, he forced his focus to his breath. 

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, hold for four seconds. Out, hold for four seconds. Repeat. Repeat. Re-

A knock at his door had him drawing in another sharp breath, ruining his methodical pattern and sending his heart rate skyrocketing once more. 

He forced another shaky breath past his lips, screwing his eyes shut tighter and hoping that whomever was at the door would be on their way shortly when he didn’t answer. He couldn’t speak right now. His voice was lost between the panicked, stilted breaths he desperately tried to pull in and out of his chest.

The knock came again, making him wince, but the voice, soft and sweet to his ears, made his heart marginally calmer.

“Rex?” Ahsoka’s voice was muffled through the door. “Are you alright?”

Rex tried to find his voice, but when he opened his mouth the words wouldn’t come. He hoped beyond hope that Ahsoka would leave him in peace, but he worried such a desire would be in vain. 

She’d stood by him, through all of it. He’d nearly killed her, and she’d never once wavered in her faith or support of him. He shuddered, remembering the days after, left with only each other for comfort. The way she’d cried in his arms on that little forgotten farming planet. The way he’d cried in hers. 

He could feel tears behind his eyes now, and attempted to blink them away, but when he opened his eyes he found his breath was stuck in his chest as the horror gripped him anew. His hands were covered in blood. His brothers’ blood. He stood and shook them, backing towards the wall at the other side of the room. 

Suddenly, his foot caught on something, one of his boots perhaps, lined up neatly beside his bunk, and he stumbled, falling hard onto his backside with a thud and a low groan. But all he could think about was his hands. His hands. His brothers were gone, it was his fault myfaultmyfault-

“Rex?”

Startled, he jumped, eyes flicking to Ahsoka standing in his doorway, backlit by the illuminators in the hallway. Something told him she wanted to rush to his side, but she approached him cautiously, kneeling before him. He caught the concerned look on her face before the door snapped shut, leaving them in darkness. He could only just make out her face in the blue glow from the chrono, sitting on the ledge beside his bunk.

“Hey now, it’s okay,” Ahsoka assured him, her voice calm and gentle. She reached out, taking his hand in hers and pulling it so it rested against her chest. “You’re going to be okay, Rex. Just breathe with me.”

He nodded, unable to do anything but breathe and focus on holding back the tears that were clouding the corners of his vision, threatening to spill over.

As Ahsoka instructed him, she took her other hand and carded her fingers through his hair. Or more accurately rubbed her hands against the short, soft strands. Rex briefly cursed himself for cutting his hair short again. He missed the feel of her fingers playing with his curls.

Closing his eyes, Rex leaned into her touch and followed her voice as she continued her quiet, reassuring instruction. Slowly, his breathing evened out, and his heart returned to a more normal rhythm. 

Somehow in the interim, Ahsoka had found her way onto the ground, just behind him, and he was now lying against her chest, his head resting on her shoulder as she continued running her fingers over his hair, and her other hand remaining locked in his. 

Finally, he managed to find his voice.

“Thanks, ‘Soka.”

“You alright? Do you want to talk about it?”

Her voice was so near to his head her lips were nearly at his ear, he reckoned. He shook his head but held his breath, wanting to feel her lips against the side of his head, though he knew it wouldn’t come. It had been too long. Their relationship had changed. Their feelings still ran deep, but after so many years apart, it was different.

He cursed himself for leaving. He missed her so much.

“You can talk to me, you know.” Her nose brushed the side of his head, and he could have sworn she held him a little tighter. He traced circles against the back of her hand, selfishly leaning a little closer. Ahsoka adjusted her position, pressing her cheek to the top of his head.

“Tell me,” she murmured, an open invitation, not an order.

Rex contemplated. The Tribunal. His brothers. The med bay, the chip-

“I can’t right now,” he rasped, shuddering in her arms. “But you know of it.”

His hands shook again. Ahsoka nodded against the top of his head.

“Your brothers?” She guessed correctly. All Rex could do was nod.

“I’m sorry.” She was quiet for a moment. Then, “Rex I… thank you.”

His brow furrowed. He didn’t get it. She was the one comforting him.

“For… what?”

“For choosing to save my life.”

Her voice was quiet and thick. Rex felt his heart twist in his chest as tears clouded his vision once more. He didn’t know what to say. The phrase that came to mind was ‘of course’ but he couldn’t force the words past the tears in his throat. He felt guilty for his actions, but he’d never once regretted saving Ahsoka. It was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, yet it had been the easiest choice he’d ever made. 

Ahsoka’s fingers left his hair and found their way beneath his chin, turning his head to meet her eyes. He could see her gratitude clear in her blue gaze, and the sorrow in the tears that rolled down her face. Still, he couldn’t find his voice to answer her, to comfort her. 

So, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. She was stiff at first, surprised, but she kissed him back without hesitation. Rex relished in the feeling of her lips on his, moving slowly to savor the moment. 

Wrapping one arm around her waist, he cradled her rear lek with the other hand, pulling her against him and deepening their kiss. Ahsoka responded in kind, melting into his embrace.

When they finally broke apart he pressed their foreheads together, holding her close.

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that-“

“It’s alright, Rex.” Her breath was warm against his lips, and he shivered. “I feel it too.”

Rex nodded and just held her close. After a while, Ahsoka shifted, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and then whispering in his ear, “You should sleep. We have quite the day ahead of us.”

“Stay with me,” Rex whispered, ghosting his lips over her montrals, unable to let her go. “I sleep better beside you.”

“I sleep better beside you too,” Ahsoka confessed, nodding and pressing a fleeting kiss to his temple.

Without another word they situated themselves on Rex’s bunk, old habits returning as they fell into a familiar position. 

As Rex tucked her into his arms, settling his chin between his montrals, he pretended like things could go back to how they were before. He pretended that tomorrow morning wouldn’t mean a return to their new commands in the rebellion, he as the leader of his troop of clones, she as Fulcrum. The only thing he did not pretend was that he still loved her. No matter what changed, Rex knew his love for Ahsoka would never fade. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep with that comforting thought at the forefront of his mind.