Smash That Mf Reblog If U Hate Pedophiles

I knew about the lung thing cause my friend already has one failing lung and is a nicotine addict but the liver?

I'm gonna have to add some kidneys or something, christ.

Gavin: I have made a top 10 list of people important to me.

Gavin, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket: Number 10 is "I can tolerate you more than most people" And then 1 is "You could steal a lung, my entire left leg and my liver to sell on the black market and I would probably thank you." So, basically-

Nines, deadpan: They wouldn't take your liver, you've destroyed it with alcohol already.

Gavin: ...

Gavin, unfolding the paper: Tina, hand me that pen.

Gavin: You've just been demoted to number 5.

Nines: Where was I before?

Gavin: 9.

Gavin, editing the list: It's a demotion because the more important you are to me, the more I'll inconvenience you.

Chris: Trust me, you don't want to get to number 1.

~~~A few weeks later~~~

Tina, standing up and getting everyone's attention: Important update! Nines has made it to number 1 and Gavin just informed me that they probably won't be here today. I'm giving $50 dollars to whoever guesses what happened correctly.

Hank: Gavin fell down the stairs and convinced Nines that he broke something so he had to go to the hospital!

Tina, writing it down: Wouldn't doubt it, next!

Captain Fowler, walking out of the break room with fresh coffee: Gavin did some dumbass shit and Nines finally got sick of it so Gavin sent that before Nines killed him

Tina: Creative but very probable!

*Many more scenarios are listed until people run out of ideas*

~~~About an hour later~~~

Gavin, walking into the DPD and clocking in: Hey!

Nines in tow, smirking: We apologize for being late.

Gavin, walking with a small limp: ...

Connor: I KNEW IT! OFFICER CHEN, FORK IT OVER

Tina: DAMMIT, YOURE GOOD!

No wait one of those memes but it’s “the difference 450 years can make” shared in a vampire community and it’s just almost the exact same photo twice

Reblog if you ACTUALLY READ TAGS

Nines: We need a distraction. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?

Gavin: My time has come.

w h a t

Y'all, I'm upset. Not as in like "I'm gonna pout for days" upset, just "aw, dangit" upset.

Alright, the reason stemming from the fact that I am VERY supportive of the Gavin and Elijah being brothers headcannon that many people have.

But, I just found something that proves that to be impossible.

Here it is.

So we have Elijah's wiki page up.

You know the normal stuff.

And we also have Gavin's.

Again, normal stuff but take a look at their birthdays.

As you can see, both born in 2002. And yeah, it could be possible if it weren't for the dates.

Elijah was born 3 months before Gavin was. So it's impossible.

And that's why I'm upset. >:(

Too many people overlook how cute boys with brown eyes are. If you’re a boy with brown eyes and you’re reading this, guess what; you cute.

Controversial Hot Takes:

Hank is a freak

Nines is actually very shy and hesitant about sex

Connor can and will top the FUCK out of anybody

Gavin can be a service top if he wants

Gavin has a very slight cat allergy

I said what I said

If ur arabic ur great If ur arabic and muslim ur great If ur arabic and queer ur great If ur arabic and muslim and queer ur great I know it seems hard to believe but you’re not bad you’re not awful