Jiu Jitsu Instructor Lets Adorable Little Girl Beat Him

Reblog if you ACTUALLY READ TAGS

I knew about the lung thing cause my friend already has one failing lung and is a nicotine addict but the liver?

I'm gonna have to add some kidneys or something, christ.

Gavin: I have made a top 10 list of people important to me.

Gavin, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket: Number 10 is "I can tolerate you more than most people" And then 1 is "You could steal a lung, my entire left leg and my liver to sell on the black market and I would probably thank you." So, basically-

Nines, deadpan: They wouldn't take your liver, you've destroyed it with alcohol already.

Gavin: ...

Gavin, unfolding the paper: Tina, hand me that pen.

Gavin: You've just been demoted to number 5.

Nines: Where was I before?

Gavin: 9.

Gavin, editing the list: It's a demotion because the more important you are to me, the more I'll inconvenience you.

Chris: Trust me, you don't want to get to number 1.

~~~A few weeks later~~~

Tina, standing up and getting everyone's attention: Important update! Nines has made it to number 1 and Gavin just informed me that they probably won't be here today. I'm giving $50 dollars to whoever guesses what happened correctly.

Hank: Gavin fell down the stairs and convinced Nines that he broke something so he had to go to the hospital!

Tina, writing it down: Wouldn't doubt it, next!

Captain Fowler, walking out of the break room with fresh coffee: Gavin did some dumbass shit and Nines finally got sick of it so Gavin sent that before Nines killed him

Tina: Creative but very probable!

*Many more scenarios are listed until people run out of ideas*

~~~About an hour later~~~

Gavin, walking into the DPD and clocking in: Hey!

Nines in tow, smirking: We apologize for being late.

Gavin, walking with a small limp: ...

Connor: I KNEW IT! OFFICER CHEN, FORK IT OVER

Tina: DAMMIT, YOURE GOOD!

smash that mf reblog if u hate pedophiles

Gavin: Haha, you ever have that feeling where you're so hungry that you feel full so you won't eat? And then you'll feel light headed? And then you won't have enough nutrition to continue to be conscious for-

Gavin, falling unconscious: Fuck...

The rest of the DPD: ...

Tina, calling over Nines: This happens all the time, he'll be fine

w h a t

Y'all, I'm upset. Not as in like "I'm gonna pout for days" upset, just "aw, dangit" upset.

Alright, the reason stemming from the fact that I am VERY supportive of the Gavin and Elijah being brothers headcannon that many people have.

But, I just found something that proves that to be impossible.

Here it is.

So we have Elijah's wiki page up.

You know the normal stuff.

And we also have Gavin's.

Again, normal stuff but take a look at their birthdays.

As you can see, both born in 2002. And yeah, it could be possible if it weren't for the dates.

Elijah was born 3 months before Gavin was. So it's impossible.

And that's why I'm upset. >:(

So'^[×dzqgiy5@tgise#-÷>:>/@

Listen y'all, I tried

GAME IDEA REBLOG THIS AND TRY TYPING YOUR URL EYES CLOSED

VD&diydgbyt-buh

So it’s been a while... I forgot the email and password linked to this account...

But I have a new, better account now. @hero-fucking-101 thanks ily

Okay so let's say thirium stains. Let's just imagine that true. So what do you think would happen if Gavin came in one morning and his lips were blue? Like, he tries his best to hide it but he fails MISERABLY. No one wants to ask what happened because they know he'll lie.

But they all figure out what happened when during his lunch break, he calls his brother, who just so happens to be the former CEO of Cyberlife, for help.

The conversation goes as such.

Gavin: Hey Elijah, um, question.

Elijah: Does it have to do with you f-

Gavin: SHHHHHH, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, STOP TALKING

Elijah: ... Are you at work?

Gavin: Off topic!

Elijah: So, what do you need?

Gavin: ...How do I get thirium stains off?

Elijah: Off of your clothes or off of your skin?

Gavin: ...

Elijah: ...

Gavin: ...

Elijah: Ah, skin, okay-

And so Gavin is over here, blushing hard as fuck while Nines just brags to Connor that Gavin is a FREAK and showing off the bite marks on his neck and shoulders.

Nines then later nudges Connor like "Bet the Luietenant doesn't do that, bet he doesn't." And Connor is SO determined to defend Hank's honor that he yells "Do you want to see my thighs? I can show you my thighs as proof! I can! Don't think I won't!" And immediately Hank is like "CONNOR!"