Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

Space Chefs

So I don’t know if anyone’s written about this yet, but I was trawling through the humans-are-space-orcs tag and I was hit by the sudden realization that I’ve seen nothing about space chefs. 

Space chefs must be like one of the most knowledgable professions out there, think about it:

“Alright, so this is a Crexian from Norix- that means capsicum is a deadly poison, Omega-3 will cause muscle spasms and due to the atmosphere on Norix, calcium will give them terrible diarrhea- no wait, this is a male, so Omega-3 is actually delicious–”

“–a Bio-bot, model Gamma-341, so absolutely no organic oils in anything or their systems will stop working, and for Stabby’s sake do not let anything with iron in it so much as look funny at their food–”

“–Mariddian fresh out of hibernation, shove as many protein additives into that meat as you can get away with and remember not to use salt, it fries their neural pathways–”

Like. I bet there’s an Interstellar Chef magazine in circulation full of recipes that are two pages long and then all the species that can and cannot eat it are listed for the next five. And every time a new species joins the intergalactic mess, the magazine runs a special issue as all the space chefs die a little more inside. The special issue gives a brief breakdown of the new species biology and then dives straight into what’s poison, what’s nutritional, what’s considered delicious and whats considered choke-worthy. If at all possible, the special issue also includes recipies from the species native culture while all the space chefs desperately try to figure out what dishes they can jury-rig into a new definition of edible.

They probably love humans though.

“Hey Jaxki, did you hear about the new species that the Crynsu found? They’re supposedly from a Death World, can you belie–”

“Oh fuck another speices?!?! They found three last spin and I’m still trying to figure out what to feed the Hrethad. Any word what they eat? You get the Chef before me.”

“Hold up let me look, I just got it today…void and dust!”

“Oh novas, what, can they not have water or something?”

“Jaxi these fuckers eat everything! They can digest chlorogenic acid! Some of them do it every day, by the void-loving gallon!!! And that’s just the nose of the Quarlag! This thing has a whole list of chemicals these guys consider delicious or edible and I swear to you it’s like someone mixed their list of the universe’s most common compounds with its spacing deadliest poisons!”

“Oh thank FUCK.”

Good omens and the Forbidden book, blood moon part 4: here come the angel and the demon 😇😈🐍🔥

Blood moon part 5

Nekocat

Nekocat

Good omens and the Forbidden book, blood moon part 5: Crowley vs Gabriel

Blood moon part 3

Nekocat

Nekocat

Good omens and the Forbidden book: blood moon part 3: putting yourself in danger for the other, that’s what friends do Blood moon part 2 Fo

After you finally finished your time machine, the first thing you did was to visit Stephen Hawking’s Party for Time Travelers in 2009. Little did you know, Hawking was planning to hijack your machine to go to the future and leave a body double behind.

Any Harry Potter themed fics to share? Thanks so much for all your hard work, love you guys and happy holidays!

Thank you and Happy holidays to you too! HP au happens to be one of my fav things out there and I wish there were more people writing about Destiel in Hogwarts! We’ve actually done a Harry Potter post before and HERE is the link to that! The first post was kind of a sneak peak (or dump site for all the unfinished and not so great stories) for this post because all my favourite stories are in this ask! So, grab your tea/coffee and make yourself comfortable because there will be fluff! (lol I HP always makes me feel Christmasy and therefor I need my cocoon of blankets and my chai latte to set the mood for these fics!) – Admin A

Title: Butterbeer And Broomstics

Author: youaresunlight

Rating: Explicit

Words: 6,796 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: If this isn’t the cutest thing ever then I don’t know what is! I have to admit it guys but I have a huge thing for HP au fics and there needs to be more fics like this where the guys are teachers rather than students… Yeah, I have issues with HS fics.

Summary: Dean, Flying Instructor extraordinaire at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has fallen head over heels for Castiel Novak, the criminally gorgeous Herbology professor. It’s definitely the most hideous man crush to ever grace the hallowed castle, and for Merlin’s sake Dean hopes that he’ll be able to bloody do something about it one of these days.

( Read here )

Title: Thunderstruck verse

Author: lottielovebuzz

Rating: Explicit

Words: 66,000 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: I really like the idea of Dean and Cas being part of Dumbledore’s army and kind of telling a story from the eyes of someone who was fighting in the backlines rather than Destiel taking the roles of Harry, Ron and Hermione. I kind of wish the actual story and writing were better though. For me, there was way too much emphasis on their time in Dumbledore’s army and then suddenly we are skipping time to adulthood and the end of the story felt very rushed. Which is disappointing because Dean and Cas don’t really get together until the end so all the good Destiel moments didn’t feel that thought out to me. But nonetheless it was a good story and one of the best one’s in this genre in my opinion!

Summary: Dean Winchester, a half-blood Gryffindor joins Dumbledore’s Army in his 6th Year and finally meets Castiel Novak, a Muggle-born Hufflepuff. After Castiel manages to produce Patronus on his first try, Dean is immediately curious about the quiet Prefect and ends up forming an unlikely friendship that doesn’t go as smoothly as they wish.

( Read here )

Title: National Muggle Awareness Month

Author: theangeloffriday

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Words: 36,792 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: This was the best! I know it’s not exactly HP Au since the setting isn’t Hogwarts and all that, but Cas is still a wizard and Sam and Dean are muggles. I totally loved this fics, I mean the whole idea of Cas going undercover to write a piece about muggles and their daily lives was genius and the only downside (in my opinion) was that there wasn’t enough Destiel moments for me. Don’t get me wrong, the plot was genius and had me laughing in every other sentence, but I was constantly craving for more fluff between Dean and Cas. I need a sequel guys!

Summary: In 2008 Seattle, one Wizarding reporter and two Muggle brothers find themselves sharing an apartment. Things go smoothly for the most part, aside from the fact that Castiel fails spectacularly at dressing like a Muggle, Dean is having issues with PDA, and there’s an American chapter of Death Eaters who have it out for cultural anthropologists.

( Read here )

Title: Destiel Hogwarts Au

Author: Actual_Shipper_Trash

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 2,475 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: I’ve had this list ready for you guys too long and honestly I can no longer remember what happens in this fic but I’ll take a wild guess here and say that fluff will happen!

Summary: Dean has a crush on Cas and cute hogwarts fluff happens.

( Read here )

Title: Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

Author: Lyralyca

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 4,976 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ 

Admin A’s notes: Yeah… this is a same situation as it was with the previous fic… I have no idea what happens and I have way too many fics in line for other asks to reread this story. I apologize!

Admin J’s notes: Admin A, you failed. That’s not an Admin note. I think you’re getting so old that your dementia is starting to raise its ugly head.

Summary: Dean/Castiel Hogwarts AU for Fic Prompt Contest.

( Read here )

Title: Our House Is Not A Home  

Author: deathbycoldopen

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 8,000 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: This verse was so fluffy and sweet. The only thing I don’t love (this applies to all fanfiction out there) is that in the last part of this verse there’s like 5k words but it’s broken into four chapter… Seriously guys don’t do that. 1k/chapter is way too fucking short. I mean it’s tolerable with stories that have less than five chapters but I’ve seen/read fics with 60k words broken into more than 60 chapters :’D It just sucks, okay! Lol…. I had to get that off my chest because damn that thing bothers me so much.

Summary: Castiel hesitated, unsure of what to do. Dean was crying softly, obviously trying to avoid waking the others. He might not appreciate it if Castiel approached him or tried to comfort him. Most boys didn’t like to admit they’d been crying, Castiel had learned when Luke jinxed him when he asked what was wrong that night last summer. He had a feeling that Dean would be just as bad as Luke was about it. He’d noticed Dean at the feast, teasing a girl sitting next to him and laughing loudly with everyone about some story about Quidditch. Dean wouldn’t want a stranger to know that he’d been crying, Castiel was sure of it.

( Read here )

Title: Dean Winchester And The Year Of The Bludger  

Author: thetreeswhisper

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Words: 28,732 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: I think my love for HP fics exceeds my hate for high school au. I mean I’d prefer if Dean and Cas were professors or just otherwise involved in HP setting, but I don’t hate them being students and teenagers.

Summary: It’s Dean and Cas’ 4th year at Hogwarts, and amongst all the Quidditch games and Dean’s bad decisions, their friendship is getting pummeled. If only a bludger would come and knock some sense into him…

( Read here )

Title: Family Traditions

Author: xx-risque

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 4,905 – Unfinished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ 

Admin A’s notes: Yeah… this is never getting finished… but I don’t want to ignore it because the little that I have here is pretty good and you can always continue the story in your head (that’s what I do)!

Summary: Castiel Novak -aspiring arithmancer from a highly respected pureblood family- meets Dean Winchester -halfblood, Quaffle-chasing idiot- on the Quidditch pitch and starts questioning everything he thought he knew.

( Read here )

Title: Cas and Dean Do Hoggypimples

Author: Balletvamp

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Words: 1,051 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin A’s notes: I need more of this! I need a sequel or even a little drabble. ANYTHING!

Summary: Dean and Cas are Hogwarts students meeting up for a late night rendezvous.

( Read here )

au where eberytjings the same but they have to go to five guyd

Your mom sent you through the forest to bring a cake and a pot of butter to grandma. She warned you about the big bad wolf. You’ve just met the wolf, he’s thinking about calling CPS on your mom for leaving you alone in the dark woods.

How to Tell

by ttanner2448

People really loved my Chef Rodan, so I give you…

Chef Rodan Ramsay!

*PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

(I had to watch some Gordon Ramsay videos to find all the references… man, I really love him!)