Me To My Last Brain Cells When I Get Asked A Question At School

Tony: *goes into peters room*

Peter: *closes laptop*

Tony: guess it’s just you and me tonight

Peter: okay, I’ll be down soon

Tony: *leaves and barges back in* whAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME

Peter: pORN

Tony: DONT LIE TO ME

Peter: fine I’m trying to send a message to this girl

Natasha: *loses Clint in a crowd*

Natasha: this calls for drastic measures

Natasha: *shouts* HAWKEYE IS THE MOST USELESS AVENGER

Natasha:

Natasha: shit I forgot he’s deaf

After you finally finished your time machine, the first thing you did was to visit Stephen Hawking’s Party for Time Travelers in 2009. Little did you know, Hawking was planning to hijack your machine to go to the future and leave a body double behind.

Just going home...

“What do you do in your free time!”

”oh uh-“

(Not mine just found it)

Gordon Ramsay asked a contestant who was trying out for MasterChef if he had a girlfriend and he goes “No, I’m actually gay” and without missing a beat Gordon asks “Boyfriend?”. Turns out the contestant was single and then he started talking about how he came out to his dad before coming audition for the show because he didn’t want to hide his true self and Gordon responded “You’ve got no reason to either” and this is just another reason why Gordon Ramsay is amazing.

You can travel in time by touching objects and going to the moment it was created, one day you grab your best friend’s vintage jacket with the intention of getting a similar one for you and suddenly you are in the year 3021