some PDFs you might find useful:
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon
- Trauma and Recovery by Judith L. Herman
- Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
- Depressed and Anxious by Thomas Marra
- You Can’t Just Snap Out Of It: The Real Path to Recovery From Psychological Trauma by J. Douglas Bremner
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
- The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.
- Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft
disclaimer: I have not necessarily read all of these or agree with everything within them I’m just making them available. What I find useful is not always what you will find useful. Take your time when reading because healing is not something you can rush.
click here for my new video! i’m sharing some language learning study tips that i use to self-study languages at home, featuring apps, websites, podcasts and books that i really enjoy using!! hopefully this will be helpful and inspire some of you :) if you enjoy my videos, please leave a like/sub, that would be so appreciated!!
Language learners 🗣
Lesson: Speaking/Listening
The language tips that I provide are usually in English/Spanish however, you can still apply your target language in the examples below because my language tips are for everyone and all levels. So, let’s end our introduction and start learning! This exercise focuses on your listening skills and helps you add more vocabulary to your vernacular. Remember to speak in your target language the same way you would speak in your native language which is with a strong, confident pronunciation.
Can you understand people who speak in your target language and can they understand you? If you are having difficulties with your listening, speaking, reading, and writing skills then follow this series to master your target language.
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Speaking:
Confidence is key when you are learning a language, and I have noticed that many language learners lack confidence, as a result it affects the way they listen and speak with others. To end this, stop being too harsh on your language progress. You are doing an amazing job and it is quite noble that you are learning a language that is not your native language!
If you are verbally speaking with someone then they can totally understand you! Stop asking people if they can understand you. If someone cannot understand what you are saying then they will tell you. In addition, this could be a protection mechanism because of a lack of self-assurance. Do not allow this bad habit to recycle. You can end this cycle by speaking without thinking about the opinions of others.
Are you purposely sounding like a robot or mumbling? If you are speaking in this way then you look silly. You are attracting more energy towards your cringe speech compared to speaking regular.
Are you actually practicing your speaking skills? There are many people who are upset about their listening and speaking skills but they are not physically working on those skills. Have conversations with people in your native and target language.
If you have a limited vocabulary list then that is okay. You can still practice your speaking skills by reading out loud. If you do not know how to pronounce certain words correctly then learn the alphabet, accent marks, and diphthongs.
If your language partner is selfish and doesn’t allow you to practice your target language or correct your mistakes then find a new language partner, have a conversation with them to declare a common ground, or keep them as a friend and not a language partner. You are in charge of your life and you need to take charge of what is beneficial for you.
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Listening:
Listen to people speak in your target language by either viewing movies, YouTube videos, television shows, commercials, and podcasts. The reason why I said “people” instead of “natives” is due to the individuals who speak your target language without being a native. Those individuals share a plethora of useful information, so give them a chance instead of judging their progression.
You need to practice your listening skills every day or at least a few times out of the week. If you are busy then change your phone’s language to your target language and create flash cards. You must practice your listening skills often in order to prevent listening difficulties.
The overthinking bug that rests in your head can influence you to translate a sentence in your target language word by word. In your native language, you do not do this.
Watch children shows and cartoons. Those shows and YouTube clips will allow you to listen to people speak slower and clearer unlike natives who are representing an older audience.
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Check out these posts!
Language learning master list
How to manifest
Learning a language with a busy schedule
Hey did you know I keep a google drive folder with linguistics and language books that I try to update regularly
Collocation anon here! I was referring to phrases that use specific words that just kind of “sound right” to native speakers but they’re different from what we would say. Like “tomar una decisión” instead of “hacer una decisión” when we would say “to make a decision” in English
Ahh okay gotcha
When I hear collocation I think "verbal phrases" or "noun phrases", words that kind of become joined to form a new word or phrase like compound nouns or specific idioms but okay!
I think a lot of times it comes down to people putting their existing grammatical knowledge onto the language they're learning.
It's very common to bring our own knowledge and experiences into learning so it becomes something you have to understand and break or recognize.
I personally struggle with formality because in English "you" is all we have, regardless of formality. When I say "you" I typically use tú as my first instinct because it's taught more than usted
That's sort of what I mean by bringing our frameworks into other languages
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Though I will say "to take a decision" is sometimes used more in British English and in some more formal contexts!
Every so often an odd-sounding literal expression will have a British or older English antecedent... or ancestor is maybe a bit more accurate.
There are times when I'll be hearing something in an English drama and I'm like "ah that makes sense now" connecting something in Spanish.
It's not a collocation but for example aquí is "here" and acá is "here", but acá is a direction word and it could be "over here" or "nearer"... in older English it is understood as "hither" like "come hither" is directly ven acá "come here / come over here"
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I think an earlier more confusing one is llamarse for names.
In English we're so used to "I am" as in soy but you hear me llamo Ana or me llamo Marco for introducing yourself.
It reads as "I call myself" literally
Another big one is when people want to use qué instead of cuál
As in "What's your name?" in Spanish is ¿Cuál es tu nombre? literally "which is your name?" ... not that qué isn't understood, but the implication is that you obviously have a name, so which one is yours?
Same thing with surnames, phone numbers, addresses (and email addresses which are "electronic addresses")
This also (to me) kind of makes more sense in an older feudalistic society. In Catholic societies people tended to take names from the Bible or the names of saints or angels. And not everyone had a last name, so it was like "Which house do you belong to (if any)?" so there's a bit of a historical aspect there too, especially when surnames could be given by place names or cities, or by geographic terms. It got a bit messy.
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People also struggle with reflexives and body parts when it comes to autonomy of body parts
As in me lavo las manos is literally "I wash myself the hands", and that makes sense in most Western languages, even German, that particular construction
In English we say "I wash my hands", we don't often use reflexives like that, so people who are learning reflexives with body parts like "I wash my face", "I shave my legs", "I brush my teeth", "I comb my hair" are very tempted to use the possessives
In Spanish the reflexives mark autonomy already, if it's "I wash myself" or "I shave myself" or "I brush/comb myself" then it couldn't be anyone else's body parts.
You could say something like "I wash her face" but that's a direct object one subject acting on another... not reflexive where the subject and object are the same. In Spanish me lavo la cara is "I wash MYSELF" so I am doing the washing and I am being washed, it's just la cara that's the thing being washed... but in Spanish grammar, your body parts ARE also you, which makes sense
But it's a little confusing for English-speakers because we phrase things differently in our grammar
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The other one that trips people up a lot is gustar in the context of "to like". We say "I like" as if it were a simple verbal construction
In Spanish with the indirect object me gusta(n) comes out as "it pleases me" or "they please me"
Don't even get me started on "I like you" which is me gustas literally "you please me"... and "you like me" te gusto literally "I please you"
That trips a lot of people up and, honestly, same. To me it feels weird and unnatural to phrase it that impersonally because I'm so used to treating it like a direct object in English
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Oh gosh let me think there are a lot, and not just idioms, but I find a lot of the main issues I personally have are prepositions:
enamorarse de alguien = to fall in love with someone [lit. "to fall in love OF someone"]
soñar con algo/alguien = to dream of something/someone [lit. "to dream WITH something/someone"]
parecerse a algo/alguien = to resemble something/someone [lit. "to look like/to appear TO something/someone]
Prepositional verbs are really difficult
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A few could be like special verbal phrases like ponerse or echar(se) when used with actions. The verb ponerse has a lot of uses but it's often "to become" or "to set to", and echar(se) literally reads as "to fling (oneself)"
But for example:
ponerse a llorar = to burst into tears
echar a perder = to waste / to go to waste
For English-speakers we would be tempted to use reventar "to burst", but literally ponerse a llorar is like "to set oneself to crying"
echar a perder comes out a bit weird because it's "to throw to loss", and we'd be tempted to just use the simpler verb forms malgastar "to waste" [lit. "to spend badly"], or desperdiciar "to waste"
echar a perder can also mean "to spoil" or "to ruin", which most English-speakers would take arruinar "to ruin"
Other times echarse comes out in like "to take a nap" or "to lie down" depending on the region, where it seems very literally "to
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Now I will say there are a few verbal phrases that translate a bit differently literally depending on your intention:
1. beber café = to drink coffee
2. tomar café = to drink coffee
Both of these are correct grammatically and linguistically, but in a conversation they come across differently
beber as "to drink" reads as more of the function
tomar as "to drink" [where it literally means "to take"]; if I read tomar café or especially tomar un café I interpret it as "to have a cup of coffee" which can include the idea of relaxation or enjoyment
The same exists with "water", "tea" or any kind of alcohol or shots. It can imply literally "ingesting", but it can and often does imply some kind of enjoyment, usually like private relaxation or public social engagement. There's a bit of an unspokenness in there.
I kind of think of it similar to how comer with food can read as mechanical like "to eat/feed", while comerse with food is often what native speakers use for something you are eating for more than just nutrition. In English we kind of say "to have" for this, like "have some cake" instead of "eat some cake"
tomar also gets used in other contexts where it can be "to take in"
tomar (el) aire = to get some air, to get some fresh air
tomar (el) sol = to sunbathe, to bask in the sun
In these cases, specifically tomar el aire I would say there's a bit more of an emotional component where it's not just "to breathe" like "to take in air"
It's similar to tomar un respiro which is "to take a breath" but it could also come out like "to take a break". If I read tomar el aire I kind of get the impression that someone is either just enjoying some time by themselves, or they're overwhelmed and need a break but it's more of a translation thing I suppose
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The most confusing collocations are the expressions with hacer, tener, and dar because they're so common:
tener hambre = to be hungry
tener sed = to be thirsty
tener X años = to be X years old
tener gracia = (for something) to be funny
tener suerte = to be lucky
tener miedo = to be afraid/scared
tener razón = to be right
tener que (hacer algo) = to have to (do something)
tener calor = to be hot (internal feeling)
tener frío = to be cold (internal feeling)
tener sueño = to be sleepy [lit. "to have sleepiness" where el sueño could be "dream" or "sleepiness" or "drowsiness", and in some cases could be understood as a noun "sleep"]
Especially because tener means "to have", and we interpret ser as "to be". Age is a big confusing one for English-speakers obviously.
But again, older English, tener razón sounds a whole lot like "to have the right of it", though it literally is "to have reason" so you can make some connections here and there
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hacer is probably the most idiomatic of these in that it can be extremely confusing when you're first starting out to see "to do/make" used with weather
hacer calor = to be hot (weather)
hacer frío = to be cold (weather)
hacer viento = to be windy
hacer fresco = to be chilly
hacer sol = to be sunny
Not to mention when hace/hacía can be used as "ago"... like hace dos años que no te veo "it's been two years since I've seen you" / "I haven't seen you for "two years"
Literally that's "two years it makes that I don't see you"
The idea of "ago" trips people up a lot
Also connected is llevar in the context of "to spend time"... llevo muchos años estudiando español "I've been studying Spanish for many years"... Literally "I carry/spend many years studying Spanish"
You could use he estado estudiando español por/durante muchos años but it's a little wordier
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dar can be difficult because it means "to give" but in some cases can be "to strike" or "to hit (against)"
dar pena = to make someone feel bad/ashamed [lit. "to give pain/sorrow/shame"]
dar miedo = to be scary [lit. "to give fear"]
dar asco = to disgust, to repulse [lit. "to cause revulsion"]
dar a luz = to give birth [lit. "to give to light"]
darse prisa = to hurry, to rush [lit. "to give oneself haste/hurry"]
dar las 12 (doce) = "for the clock to strike 12"
If you're reading Cenicienta "Cinderella" al dar las doce is like "at the stroke of midnight"; we have to remember that dar here is likely referring to the action of "hitting" a bell which would ring out the hour. When a clock "strikes" or "chimes", that can be done with dar but we tend not to think of a physical strike
dar en el clavo = "to hit the nail on the head"
darse con alguien = "to run into someone", to meet someone (often by chance), to encounter [lit. "to hit against (with) someone"; it carries a literal meaning like "to run into", and darse con algo might mean "to hit up against" or "to run into (a thing)" often a wall or an obstacle]
dar en el blanco / dar en la diana = to hit the bullseye [lit. el blanco here is not "the white" it means "the target"; and la diana is "a bullseye", most likely related to Diana, goddess of the hunt in Roman mythology; just like in English it could be to literally hit a bullseye like archery, or it could be "to be right" or "to get it right"]
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This one I think does make some sense but nos vemos is often translated in the future tense; it comes out like "see you" or "we'll see each other soon", but literally it's "we see each other"
It can be a bit hard to explain but present tense can be short-term future
Secondly, nos vemos gets translated a bunch of different ways as a default goodbye - "see you", "see you later", "see you soon", "bye" etc. so that also doesn't help
But many languages have this kind of reflexive notion, sort of like Italian arrivederci where literally that ci is an "us/we" marker for reflexives in Italian
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And there are others I could list and probably will when I think of some to put in a list as a reply
Galileo’s notebook sketch of the Pleiades
Galileo Galilei 15th February 1564 - 8th January 1642
Wow wtf HIV/AIDS was discovered by Flossie Wong-Staal, an Chinese-American woman, and she’s the reason the HIV test even exists. AND THEN she invented the molecular knife that lead to treatments for HIV/AIDS. And she’s STILL ALIVE. We don’t hear about the contributions of Women of Color enough, my word. Madness.
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
Avocado: el aguacate/ la palta
Apricot: el albaricoque/ el damasco
Blueberry: el arándano
Cherry: la cereza
Plum: la ciruela
Coconut: el coco
Raspberry: la frambuesa
Strawberry: la fresa/ la frutilla
Pomegranate: la granada
Fig: el higo
Kiwi: el kiwi
Lime: la lima
Lemon: el limón
Mango: el mango
Apple: la manzana
Passion Fruit: la maracuyá
Peach: el melocotón/ el durazno
Quince: el membrillo
Blackberry: la mora/ la zarzamora
Orange: la naranja
Nectarine: la nectarina
Papaya: la papaya
Pear: la pera
Pineapple: la piña/ la ananá
Banana: el plátano/ la banana
Watermelon: la sandía
Grapefruit: la toronja/ el pomelo
Grape: la uva
The discovery of fossilized human footprints in White Sands New Mexico dating to 23,000 years ago is revolutionary for a lot of reasons and one really important one is that it thoroughly obliterates the settler colonial notion that the indigenous peoples of the America’s never had extensive contact with horses prior to the introduction of domesticated feral populations descended from the horses that came over with the Spanish in the 1400′s. It’s currently believed that horses went extinct in North America between 12,000 and 11,000 years ago which gives us an at least ten thousand year window where humans and horses coexisted in North America.