That’s The Culprit

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse...

M: ...

B: ...

M: ...

B: We skinned him.

M: ...

B: We needed the leather!

“Vinegar and FUCK.”

“She’s come out the closet!”

-My grandma... when I told her I was vegetarian

"Miss, can you inject insulin into a random person?"

"I dream of being attacked by birds..."

“Are you sure you’re a human being? You have no belly button.”

-My aunt to my grandma

“Stop breaking this pencil! Do you know how expensive this was?!”

-Somebody with a cheap pencil they probably found on the floor

“Nothing is ever romantic if one person involved is dead!”

"Mushrooms are overrated! Yeah, I said it!"

He ate his friend. He ate his fucking friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!