“Nothing Is Ever Romantic If One Person Involved Is Dead!”

“Stop breaking this pencil! Do you know how expensive this was?!”

-Somebody with a cheap pencil they probably found on the floor

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

“I am a thot and Thor.”

"I dream of being attacked by birds..."

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse...

M: ...

B: ...

M: ...

B: We skinned him.

M: ...

B: We needed the leather!

So nobody said anything funny today, but I just witnessed two guys pick up a bench and attempt to walk away with it, and I can’t just not acknowledge that

"Can you overdose on starch?"

"Mushrooms are overrated! Yeah, I said it!"

“I’m far too goth for gravey.”

-Me, not goth in any way

That’s the culprit

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.