Convesation Between My Mum And Brother

"Be right back while I confess my sins to the nearest priest!"

That’s the culprit

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

“When I get to Hell, Satan will throw a ball at me.”

-Me, explaining how much I hate PE

“God is dead. We have killed him. My tits hurt.”

"Miss, can you inject insulin into a random person?"

“There’s definitely a small banana joke in there somewhere...”

-My teacher, to a student, after she explained how we’d be putting condoms on bananas and he said he might as well put it on the real thing

"What happens if you inject AI with adrenaline?"

“That’s a pretty gender neutral way of killing someone!”

-Me, not making nearly as much sense without context

So nobody said anything funny today, but I just witnessed two guys pick up a bench and attempt to walk away with it, and I can’t just not acknowledge that

“It’s not porn, one of them is on fire!”