"Tell Me What Pen You Use, WITCH!"

“I’m still mad about the cheese...”

-Me, still mad about the cheese

“That’s my second claim to fame; I was once told off by a rodent!”

-My grandma, who once got shouted at by Mickey Mouse at Disney Land

“Actually I’m Captain America.”

-My science teacher

“Why does February have, like, no days??”

-Someone I used to think was smart

“You’ve got a crazy grandma.”

-my grandma, being so right

“Need I remind you of your grandmother’s murderous intentions?”

-Me, probably about to get murdered by one of my friends grandmas

That’s the culprit

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

“He’s such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.”

-My friend, while literally talking about Satan

“I would make a better Hitler than Hitler!”

-My brother

"Today I shall be expanding the list of reasons I'm going to hell."