“I’m Still Mad About The Cheese...”

"I am feeling emotions and I am not sure how to deal with it."

People have been saying stupid stuff since language was invented and I don’t say anything so all I can do is listen, and I’ve been doing that my entire life, but the second I decide to post some of it, nobody say anything even remotely funny??

“What a great six! Very sixy!”

-Me, not intentionally making a pun

“There’s definitely a small banana joke in there somewhere...”

-My teacher, to a student, after she explained how we’d be putting condoms on bananas and he said he might as well put it on the real thing

So nobody said anything funny today, but I just witnessed two guys pick up a bench and attempt to walk away with it, and I can’t just not acknowledge that

"I got so distracted by lesbians I forgot the point of the story!"

“Jaffa cakes are terrifying!”

-My friend, who is genuinely scared of the orange part of Jaffa cakes

They are now talking about wearing his friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

“Every part of me is lesbian.”

“Apart from your boyfriend.”

“Your homework is to pee in a jar for a week...”

-My science teacher