ok so you know how there’s 3 different versions of cicero used throughout the db questline? well the follower version of him that shows up near the end of the questline if you spared him is actually taller than his other two versions. so he somehow grows about a foot taller between when you spare him in dawnstar and when he becomes available as a follower, thus further proving he is in fact not human and is instead some weird little creature with godlike powers
Jekyll: Selfcare is drinking highly toxic chemicals right out of the anti-contamination beaker whilst letting the darkness that dwells within the depths of your soul overtake you.
Lanyon: No.
Jekyll: Slurp.
*Stiles is cooking*
Erica: Any chance that’s for me?
Stiles: It’s for Derek. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight and I need him on my side.
Boyd: Huh. I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
Most Gallifreyans would have you believe that myths and fairytales are either historical records distorted by time or pointless escapades into fantasy. And yet, woven into the very fabric of Time Lord culture, legends persist—some as warnings, some as bedtime stories, and some as fragments of very uncomfortable truths.
Here are just a few of the stories passed down through Gallifreyan history.
Long before the River of Time became what it is today, it was merely a small tributary flowing down Mount Perdition. The people of the Capitol had achieved great power, but they had severed their connection with the past and future. Their society was frozen in stasis—sterile, dying.
Lady Patience, a noblewoman, desperately desired a child. Every night, she searched for a wizard or soothsayer who could grant her one, but none could help.
Finally, she found a Stranger—a man working to expand the tributary of time. He gave her an old bag and told her to fill it with water from the Sea of Life. When it was full to the brim, she would find the child she sought.
But the bag had a hole. She tried to fill it, but the water ran out every time. For months, she tried, attempting to patch the bag, but the patches always fell off, spilling the water upon the shore.
With every failed attempt, something strange happened. The wet patches stiffened, forming cards, each depicting all of reality. These became known as the Paradoxica—cards that could chart the shape of existence itself.
She continued her task until the entire Sea of Life was drained. At its emptied depths, she found a child. And in that moment, the curse was broken, restoring Gallifrey's past and future.
🎴 The Paradoxica Cards
According to legend, Lady Patience's discarded patches became a tool of great power. The Paradoxica deck was said to:
Chart the shape of reality—some cards held the past, others the future, and some the forever-present.
Be capable of transportation through time and space—if used with the power of a TARDIS.
Induce amnesia or disorientation—especially in lesser beings with low artron energy. (Time Lords included, on occasion.)
They are exceedingly rare—but if you ever find one, be very careful what you deal.
🦢 Other Tales of Gallifreyan Children
Gallifreyan nursery stories offer a variety of explanations for where children come from:
🪻 Infants are found beneath gooseberry bushes at the bottom of Rassilon's Garden.
🕊️ The Great Gallifreyan Stork delivers them (though, considering Gallifrey's atmosphere, that's one resilient bird).
🧚 The Loom Fairy blesses certain Houses (or curses them, depending on perspective).
Of course, none of these stories hold up under scrutiny—but that never stopped a Time Tot from believing.
⛓️ The Story of the Rock
Two Time Lords, traveling through a scorching desert, came across a massive red stone cube.
Chained to the rock was a man, thin, starving, his teeth sharp and yellow, his chains rusted with age.
'Please,' he begged. 'Come closer. Look at what's behind the rock.'
One of the Time Lords, curious, stepped around to the other side.
And vanished.
The other waited in the sand for a week, listening to the Chained Man's whispers. But they never gave in.
The first Time Lord was never seen again.
🦇 The Toclafane, the Watchmaker, and Other Gallifreyan Nightmares
I won't lie—many stories told to toddlers aren't exactly The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and many of these bogeymen actually exist.
💀 The Toclafane – A general term for scary creatures Time Tots were warned about.
🔧 The Watchmaker – A time-warping entity that exists to remove all time anomalies, including bringing death to Gallifreyans who have been touched by paradoxes.
🐦 Pandora's Ghost – The first Lady President of Gallifrey, executed via D-Mat dispersal, is said to haunt the Vaults. On Gallifrey, her soul lingers in the Matrix. On Earth, her legend became Pandora's Box.
🕷️ The Shakri – Live in an adjacent dimension known as Darkspace; they are said to exterminate species before they spread too far. Time Tots were told to behave, lest they attract their attention.
🌌 Koltroxa – The story of a being trapped drifting through time until she died of old age.
🧙♂️ Malador – the immortal, indestructible evil eventually imprisoned by the Ancients, who created an army of living statues called the Melkur. (Which, by the way, are still out there. Waiting.)
🧛♂️ Great Vampires – Gallifrey's history with vampires bleeds into their kids' bedtime stories, warning Time Tots of their terrifying power and their lifelong genetic obligation to kill them on sight.
🔵 Blue Fire (Mi'en Kalarash) – A Great Old One who lives in the 'wasteland between realities'. It stimulates a sleeping victim's limbic system and feeds on the artron energy produced by fear and nightmares.
🩸 Zagreus – Zagreus sits inside your head Zagreus lives among the dead Zagreus sees you in your bed And eats you when you're sleeping
➕ Others – Others include the Fendahl, the Fendahleen, Salyavin, the Krafayis, and the Weeping Angels.
🙀 Slightly Less Terrifying Stories
Thankfully, they do have a few 'nicer' ones by comparison.
🏙️ The Lost City of Altrazar – Said to appear once every thousand years in normal space on the planet Nirvana.
⏳ The Time Sprites – Legends claim there's one trapped inside every TARDIS.
🪱 Time Vortex Leeches – Said to hijack timeships and take them to their crew's lost lovers.
🌠 Higher Evolutionaries – Dimensional pioneers said to have woven the web of parallel timelines.
🌇 The Lost City of the Archons – A city belonging to the last of the Great Old Ones, existing in the Great Desolation.
👶 Humans – Some stories talk about the species 'wearing the skins' of Gallifreyans and abandoned Gallifreyan children being raised by humans.
📖 Classics – Gallifreyan children also know The Three Little Sontarans, The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes, and Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday.
👑 Benncuig III – Possibly Gallifrey's only intentional children's author, Benncuig III wrote Lullabies for Time Tots, including stories about Rassilon and the story of Rassilon's Tower in the Dark Zone.
Gallifreyan fairytales aren't just stories for kids—they're warnings. Warnings about curiosity, interference, and the dangers of straying too far from order ...
(Assembled from ROOG + TARDIS Wiki)
Whoniverse Facts for Friday by GIL
Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴
Never rant to the resident baby!!
Leo doesn't know what incompetent means but he's offended anyways...
edit: we hit 5k notes!! thank you :)
edit: 10K ?!?!!!! THANK YOU
Oliver: *pitches an idea*
Penelope, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Percy, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.
cas: what are the symptoms of teenage depression?
dean: why are you asking me?
cas: jack was helping with the laundry earlier and he dropped a sock and i heard him say "why has god forsaken me"
Ranboo: Who hurt you? Tommy: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Ranboo, now holding a weapon: ...Yes, actually.
Jekyll: Sometimes I dream of becoming a vampire
Hyde: To live forever and not grow old?
Jekyll: To avoid seeing your ugly face in mirrors.
Sam: Alright, I'm gonna go to bed, don't do murder
Jack: Why would I murder anyone?
Castiel: I wasn't planning on it, but now I will
Dean: Fuck you, don't tell me what to do
Sam: Literally fuck all of you, why am I friends with you?