I Feel Jake Is The Kind Of Alter Who Only Fronts For Like 10 Seconds If The System Is Doing Something

jaskier : ladies and gentlemen i give you my new song about the white wolf, geralt of rivia!

tavern goers :

jaskier : i hear you're alive

jaskier : how disappointing

everyone in the tavern :

Everyone: Stiles, don't overreact.

Stiles, already digging his grave and shovelling dirt on himself: I'm not.

Dean: cantaloupes taste like they don’t believe in themselves.

Cas: you taste like cantaloupe?

Jack: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Dean: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Jack:

Jack: [sobs]

Sam: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

Lucifer: *is drowning*

Jack: I'd save him but who am I to play god?

Gabriel: YOU ARE LITERALLY THE GOD NOW!!!!

"First I steal their friend then I ruin their twitch career, that's what I do, it's the old one two"

- Ranboo talking about Tommy

Ranboo: Who hurt you? Tommy: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Ranboo, now holding a weapon: ...Yes, actually.

Derek: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Boyd: Several traffic violations.

Erica: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Stiles: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Isaac: Also, that’s not our car.

He's plotting

I came into 4.0 fully expecting to break my f2p to get lyney (I only had twenty pulls and I had just gotten Kazuha). Instead the game decided to hand me Lyney on a silver platter, then proceeded to give me his weapon. My first 5 star weapon. At this point I'm convinced the game knows its feeding my addiction and is doing this purely to keep me hooked.